Ok so maybe getting old has nothing to do with it. Maybe getting cold is more on point.
When I was younger I abso-friggin-luely loved Christmas time. I couldn't wait for the neighborhoods to put up their lights. i would ride around to the communities and see all the lights. I jumped at the chance to get to the mall and do the shopping. Over the years even though I never had kids of my own, I always was around someone who had kids and that enabled me to buy for and experience the gift of giving.
As the year wore on I still provided gifts for kids that I never fathered, but the getting excited part that led up to the Christmas day started becoming less exciting. A couple of years ago I recognized this so I started downloading Christmas music and I would play it all day at work. I would play it in the truck where ever I was going. It worked for a while. I once again found that old spirit. It didn't start as soon or last as long or ever reach the peaks that it once did but at least it was still there.
This year though things are much different. This year there were no trips to the mall to see all the parents frantically shopping for little Timmy and young Shannon. There were no rides tot he surrounding areas to see all the colorful ways families decorated their homes in attempts to out shine the other neighbors. There were no someone special who had kids that I could ole' St Nick to. I gave money to my mom so she and my stepdad could buy gifts for the grandchildren and I did provide money so my neice would have a Christmas that wouldn't have been possible otherwise. I did good things but in a very non-personal way. Almost detatched. The spirit just wasn't there.
Not depressed. Not looking to slit wrist or go into work one day and off everyone there. It's nothing like that. It's just a feeling of lost youth kind of. A feeling of something I never understood but enjoyed.
I know the tough macho guys will scoff and say getting all excited over lights and caroling and what not is gay. Well it's ashame that some feel that way but I could care less. It's not gay at all. I'm man enough to admit I used to like those things and wish I could enjoy them again.
This was a long drawn out way to say, hold on to that Christmas spirit as long as you possibly can. If you feel it starting to slip away do whatever you need to do to spark it up again. There is truly something magical about it and you may never truly appreciate it till you don't feel it any longer.
When I was younger I abso-friggin-luely loved Christmas time. I couldn't wait for the neighborhoods to put up their lights. i would ride around to the communities and see all the lights. I jumped at the chance to get to the mall and do the shopping. Over the years even though I never had kids of my own, I always was around someone who had kids and that enabled me to buy for and experience the gift of giving.
As the year wore on I still provided gifts for kids that I never fathered, but the getting excited part that led up to the Christmas day started becoming less exciting. A couple of years ago I recognized this so I started downloading Christmas music and I would play it all day at work. I would play it in the truck where ever I was going. It worked for a while. I once again found that old spirit. It didn't start as soon or last as long or ever reach the peaks that it once did but at least it was still there.
This year though things are much different. This year there were no trips to the mall to see all the parents frantically shopping for little Timmy and young Shannon. There were no rides tot he surrounding areas to see all the colorful ways families decorated their homes in attempts to out shine the other neighbors. There were no someone special who had kids that I could ole' St Nick to. I gave money to my mom so she and my stepdad could buy gifts for the grandchildren and I did provide money so my neice would have a Christmas that wouldn't have been possible otherwise. I did good things but in a very non-personal way. Almost detatched. The spirit just wasn't there.
Not depressed. Not looking to slit wrist or go into work one day and off everyone there. It's nothing like that. It's just a feeling of lost youth kind of. A feeling of something I never understood but enjoyed.
I know the tough macho guys will scoff and say getting all excited over lights and caroling and what not is gay. Well it's ashame that some feel that way but I could care less. It's not gay at all. I'm man enough to admit I used to like those things and wish I could enjoy them again.
This was a long drawn out way to say, hold on to that Christmas spirit as long as you possibly can. If you feel it starting to slip away do whatever you need to do to spark it up again. There is truly something magical about it and you may never truly appreciate it till you don't feel it any longer.
