BJ Penn...I am waiting
BJ Penn's face is round, therefore he is overweight and thus his cardio is not where it should be. I am challenging BJ Penn to a no holds barred cage match. I shall employ my years of watching Kung Fu Classics and will begin the match in a Crane stance with one knee raised up and my hands at eye level and convexed allowing me the ability to strike like a crane at any given moment.
I will then trot slowly around the cage bobbing my head to and fro while gathering speed until he is literally in the eye of my deadly storm. His round moonface will begin to flush as he realizes I am nothing short of a supremely conditioned athlete with an insatiable appetite for destruction. I shall combine the grace and alacrity of a cheetah with the cunning and guile of a mongoose. BJ Penn is no match for a classically television trained Kung Fu fighter.
I have not thrown a punch or kick since I accidentally kicked my mothers coffee table in the living room and really hurt my ankle. I remember it well because Jim Plunkertt and the Raiders had just won the Super Bowl. But I warn you Mr. BJ "I'm so tough, moonfaced sonofabitch" Penn, I am not going away. I am training as we speak. As soon as I am done with my cookie dough ice cream, I am going to watch another two hours of Bruce Lee in Behind the Green Door..er..I mean, Enter the Dragon. I'm silly good. I'm a freak and I am gonna bust you the **** up.
I will then trot slowly around the cage bobbing my head to and fro while gathering speed until he is literally in the eye of my deadly storm. His round moonface will begin to flush as he realizes I am nothing short of a supremely conditioned athlete with an insatiable appetite for destruction. I shall combine the grace and alacrity of a cheetah with the cunning and guile of a mongoose. BJ Penn is no match for a classically television trained Kung Fu fighter.
I have not thrown a punch or kick since I accidentally kicked my mothers coffee table in the living room and really hurt my ankle. I remember it well because Jim Plunkertt and the Raiders had just won the Super Bowl. But I warn you Mr. BJ "I'm so tough, moonfaced sonofabitch" Penn, I am not going away. I am training as we speak. As soon as I am done with my cookie dough ice cream, I am going to watch another two hours of Bruce Lee in Behind the Green Door..er..I mean, Enter the Dragon. I'm silly good. I'm a freak and I am gonna bust you the **** up.