So, I have a funny story to share.
Last thursday night/early friday morning was quite the day for me. I was at work all day on thursday from 8:30am - 9:00pm, then I went straight to the bowling alley & did the karaoke show until 1:30am. Got home at 2:00am. I was very tired, but couldn't get to sleep because my wife and I were fighting about getting a car for her oldest son (he totalled his other one). She's mad at me for not getting him one yet. I was in a bad mood.
I finally went to bed at 3:30am. I was awakened at 4:40am by my dog barking in the living room. I jumped out of bed & looked out the window. Saw nothing. Told my dog to come back to bed. She never followed me. She stayed out there and I laid back down in bed. She started barking again, waking my wife up. My wife goes out there to check on our dog, and comes running back in our room saying " (DAD) There's something big or someone out in our yard!" So I get up again, angry cuz I'm dead tired. I told her to stay in our room & kept the dog in the room. I crawl out to the living room, cuz you can see us walking around in our window. I peered out the corner of the window & saw 6 people walking around mysteriously in my front yard!
I was like, 'what the fukk?'. I thought they were measuring our trees or something like that. Then it dawned on me, 'WE'RE ABOUT TO GET TEEPEE'D!"
Well, not on my mutha fukkin' watch! My parents taught me to respect other people's property and I never did no stupid shit like that when I was a kid. I'll be damned if some punk-ass kids are going to mess with my yard as much money as I pay in mortgage!... So anyway, I run back in the room & throw my shirt on, told my wife that we're getting teepee'd. She asks me what I'm going to do, and I said "I'm going to kill those little mutha fukkin' bastards!"
I was barefoot, and barely awake, but I was pissed!
She runs out to the living room and yells out the window, "you guys better get outta here cuz (DAD) is on his way out and he's gonna KICK YOUR ASS!"
I couldn't believe she gave me away like that cuz I was on my way downstairs and out the door after them. They got a head start on me. I hate being barefoot outside, but I didn't even think about it. I took off running after them top speed and was yelling full throttle "HEY! YOU GET YOUR MUTHA FUKKIN' ASSES BACK HERE!" They were all running down the street screaming out of sheer fear! I look back at it now, and I have to laugh. But at the time I was pissed, tired & appalled that they picked our house. It was still pitch black out and I couldn't see. They had a minivan parked at the end of the street. My wife said she never seen me run that fast in even shoes before. They got into their van and I was right behind them. I got to their van and pounded my fist into the rear door to scare them... really loud. They froze inside. My only thought was to get them out of the van & drag them back up the street to clean my yard up. They only did about maybe 10% before I chased them out of there. But if my wife wouldn't have yelled out the window, I would have caught them. I was pissed at her.
So, I hit their van in the back & walked up to the driver door and took my fist and banged on the driver side window. I could see that the girl was scared to death and I could hear them inside telling her to drive off. She had already started the van, but she was frozen. Then I put my hands on the frame of the window on the top of the van and peered right at her into the window saying, "Get your little mutha fukkin' ass out of this van right now..." and that's when she smashed on the gas pedal and they took off. It was so dark, I couldn't even see their license plate...I was so pissed. I suppose I could have opened her door and took the keys out of the ignition, or looked at the license plate when I caught up to them, but I was so angry I was only thinking that those little bastards are going to clean up my tree, damnit.
Anyway, now I laugh about it because here's this big guy 6'2", 250lbs chasing down 6 high schoolers running for their lives and scaring the crap out of them. Yeah, it felt really good to do that, but it would have been 100 times better if I caught them from taking off. I blame my wife, and my arrogance for that.
Funny story, huh?
My stepson said he knows who it was when I described the van, and he myspaced them teasing them about it. I think it's safe to say that word will get around to not teepee our house ever again. There's a crazy stepdad living there that will wipe the streets with you... (haha)
My wife was laughing at me cuz she said it sounded so funny to hear me yelling at these poor kids and they were screaming bloody murder running away.
Last thursday night/early friday morning was quite the day for me. I was at work all day on thursday from 8:30am - 9:00pm, then I went straight to the bowling alley & did the karaoke show until 1:30am. Got home at 2:00am. I was very tired, but couldn't get to sleep because my wife and I were fighting about getting a car for her oldest son (he totalled his other one). She's mad at me for not getting him one yet. I was in a bad mood.
I finally went to bed at 3:30am. I was awakened at 4:40am by my dog barking in the living room. I jumped out of bed & looked out the window. Saw nothing. Told my dog to come back to bed. She never followed me. She stayed out there and I laid back down in bed. She started barking again, waking my wife up. My wife goes out there to check on our dog, and comes running back in our room saying " (DAD) There's something big or someone out in our yard!" So I get up again, angry cuz I'm dead tired. I told her to stay in our room & kept the dog in the room. I crawl out to the living room, cuz you can see us walking around in our window. I peered out the corner of the window & saw 6 people walking around mysteriously in my front yard!
I was like, 'what the fukk?'. I thought they were measuring our trees or something like that. Then it dawned on me, 'WE'RE ABOUT TO GET TEEPEE'D!"
Well, not on my mutha fukkin' watch! My parents taught me to respect other people's property and I never did no stupid shit like that when I was a kid. I'll be damned if some punk-ass kids are going to mess with my yard as much money as I pay in mortgage!... So anyway, I run back in the room & throw my shirt on, told my wife that we're getting teepee'd. She asks me what I'm going to do, and I said "I'm going to kill those little mutha fukkin' bastards!"
I was barefoot, and barely awake, but I was pissed!
She runs out to the living room and yells out the window, "you guys better get outta here cuz (DAD) is on his way out and he's gonna KICK YOUR ASS!"
I couldn't believe she gave me away like that cuz I was on my way downstairs and out the door after them. They got a head start on me. I hate being barefoot outside, but I didn't even think about it. I took off running after them top speed and was yelling full throttle "HEY! YOU GET YOUR MUTHA FUKKIN' ASSES BACK HERE!" They were all running down the street screaming out of sheer fear! I look back at it now, and I have to laugh. But at the time I was pissed, tired & appalled that they picked our house. It was still pitch black out and I couldn't see. They had a minivan parked at the end of the street. My wife said she never seen me run that fast in even shoes before. They got into their van and I was right behind them. I got to their van and pounded my fist into the rear door to scare them... really loud. They froze inside. My only thought was to get them out of the van & drag them back up the street to clean my yard up. They only did about maybe 10% before I chased them out of there. But if my wife wouldn't have yelled out the window, I would have caught them. I was pissed at her.
So, I hit their van in the back & walked up to the driver door and took my fist and banged on the driver side window. I could see that the girl was scared to death and I could hear them inside telling her to drive off. She had already started the van, but she was frozen. Then I put my hands on the frame of the window on the top of the van and peered right at her into the window saying, "Get your little mutha fukkin' ass out of this van right now..." and that's when she smashed on the gas pedal and they took off. It was so dark, I couldn't even see their license plate...I was so pissed. I suppose I could have opened her door and took the keys out of the ignition, or looked at the license plate when I caught up to them, but I was so angry I was only thinking that those little bastards are going to clean up my tree, damnit.
Anyway, now I laugh about it because here's this big guy 6'2", 250lbs chasing down 6 high schoolers running for their lives and scaring the crap out of them. Yeah, it felt really good to do that, but it would have been 100 times better if I caught them from taking off. I blame my wife, and my arrogance for that.
Funny story, huh?
My stepson said he knows who it was when I described the van, and he myspaced them teasing them about it. I think it's safe to say that word will get around to not teepee our house ever again. There's a crazy stepdad living there that will wipe the streets with you... (haha)
My wife was laughing at me cuz she said it sounded so funny to hear me yelling at these poor kids and they were screaming bloody murder running away.
