Need some advice from SBR posters regarding $$ and friends

[mathdotcom]

I made the classic mistake of loaning $$ to a friend. Ten dimes. USD. He seemed pretty desperate and needed it just to get himself out of debt with credit card, rent, etc. Of course this should have been the clue I needed to realize he is useless with money and basically a deadbeat. Mathy is too nice of a guy, what can I say.

Facts:
Origin of loan: 2005
Payments he has made: two installments of $500 in the past year.

We have a number of mutual friends, and I told a few about it and that is what solicited the two payments. But now the payments seem to have dried up.

Serious replies please. How to get him to pay? I do not really have any leverage other than telling friends he is now a stiff and not just a slowpayor.

Never lend money to your friends, boys. You are doing yourself a huge favor and probably him, too. I've never heard such a story end well.

Mathy

[HAPPY BOY]

lend money to friends= lose money & lose friend. If someone ever ask you to borrow $$ give it to them, otherwise it won't end well as a loan. It never does. Better to say no I can't.

[mathdotcom]

Thanks Happy Boy

Helps me now

[dwaechte]

Never lend anything to a friend where it hurts the friendship if it doesnt get paid back. Any loans Ive made to friends Ive always considered gifts and haven't expected to get back and the friendships are as strong as ever. If youre giving money to someone, it should be because you like them and feel they deserve it.

[mathdotcom]

Never lend anything to a friend where it hurts the friendship if it doesnt get paid back. Any loans Ive made to friends Ive always considered gifts and haven't expected to get back and the friendships are as strong as ever. If youre giving money to someone, it should be because you like them and feel they deserve it.

What fukkin planet do you live on?

Next reply please.

[buztah]

Phuck his wife. You'll never get the money back so take it out of his wife's ass.

[BAUS]

Phuck his wife. You'll never get the money back so take it out of his wife's ass.

Sharp post.

But what if his wife isn't worth nailing?

BAUS

[buztah]

Baus, it's not about whether she's hot. You just want to hurt that stiff.

[HAPPY BOY]

live and learn pal. Your fvcked. move on take it as a lifes lesson.

[Dad]

DotCom, are you any good at fighting?

[Nicky Santoro]

you wanna lose a friend, just lend him money.. it's the best way.
i have lost many many friends in the past by lending money. it changes the relationship completely.

money ruins everything in life. and it never ends good either. NEVER.... NEVER... NEVER...

[Dad]

What kind of friends are you people keeping? Jesus. I have never been stiffed by a friend.

Relatives... now thats another story. Unfortunately you cannot pick your relatives.

[wal66]

If this is a true story.

Does this friend have available funds? I mean does he continue to be able to buy and do things outside basic getting by? If he does and he's making no effort to clear his dept to you then he's obviously not a friend and unless you want to be a complete putz then there are is something you can do. It's over $500 so you can take him to small claims court. Ofcourse this would mean having some sort of proof that you did in fact loan this money. If you don't then it sucks but you're fck'd.

If however this person is truly living hand to mouth and has no means to pay his dept to you then it is much more difficult.

The whole live and learn thing does no good but it is what it is. I've been there and what's worse I've been there more than once. Never to the lump sum at one time as you mentioned but actually more over time.

[PAPSMEAR]

The only people I loan a bit of chump change to from time to time are people I no longer want to speak to. It's the best way. Give them $20, tell them it's a loan and they'll avoid you like the plague. It works like a charm and is money well spent.

[Dad]

The only people I loan a bit of chump change to from time to time are people I no longer want to speak to. It's the best way. Give them $20, tell them it's a loan and they'll avoid you like the plague. It works like a charm and is money well spent.

I'm going to try that with my mother-in-law.

[raydog]

tough case mathy. im in a similar situation with my very best friend. i loaned him the cash to buy his wifes wedding ring...3 years ago. unfortunately, he is also my personal money manager, so i cant claim that im desperate for any quick cash or anything. what i would do if i were you is to call him up and make up some big story...car broken down, owe the bookie, gotta get some cash from him now. just some odd excuse as to why you have to pay something and you gotta have that cash from him. it may work for a little bit, it may not. the best way to get money back is to make it seem like you are really hurting for money and make him feel bad about owing.

[jayc88]

agree , i've made that mistake once and will never make it again .
lending money to close friends always gets you in trouble somehow

[JoshW]

Hundred years from now, people will be asking the same questions, and getting the same answers. Don't loan money to friends.

Only exceptions are loans of convenience among financial similar friends. And just giving the money to them if they are in desperate circumstances. Even the exceptions lead to trouble.

[jjgold]

lend money to friends= lose money & lose friend. If someone ever ask you to borrow $$ give it to them, otherwise it won't end well as a loan. It never does. Better to say no I can't.

Now that is great advice

[keyboarding]

I'm in a similar situation. Not as much money, not sure if that makes it better or worse. A friend having trouble getting money, I lend him $100 in Toronto. In a hockey pool with him, I win it, people give him their buy in, about $300, he has that. He moves to Montreal, I go to visit him, he needs help with money (he helped me make $400 on blackjack) so I lent him another $300. I also lent him my $800 Parajumpers Gobi jacket (he didn't have a coat during a Montreal winter, I felt it was the decent thing to do), which he helped me get for $200. He says it was lost at a club in the coat check, I think he sold it.

So, altogether, he owes me around $900. He hasn't made a single payment in 13 months, and told me he could replace the jacket this week when he visits Toronto. All of a sudden, the day of the trip, tells me he can't do it, and doesn't have any of the money he owes me.

I got him to admit in text messages he owes me the money. I just need to get him to admit, via text or email, that he is going to pay it back by the end of November. Once I have it documented, I'm taking him to small claims court.

Only issue there is that he lives in Montreal now and the incident occurred in Montreal, so I have to take him to court in Montreal. I think he's moving back to Toronto, so that's when I have to make my move.

Such a good friend, too. Can't believe what a huge ****face he turned out to be. If I can't do the small claims thing, I'm going to visit him in Montreal, and depending on what I see in his place, either steal things or beat the shit out of him and make my way back to Toronto. Friendship is ****ed anyway. The cunt.

[mathdotcom]

Solid advice from some guys. Thanks.

The reason people keep making this mistake is simple. We can't imagine doing it to someone else, so don't think someone else could do it to us. If I did something like this I would be ashamed to be seen in public. It is so degrading. I would rather be a pervert. But now I realize there are tons of these losers out there, truly pathetic losers living in their parents' basements still, no plan, no desire to have a plan, and even if given a good plan, absolutely zero drive to execute it. Really these people should be shot or sent off into the wild to learn a thing or two about life. We all know these people.

Notice that we make this mistake because we are in a position to make the mistake: we have the money for a reason, and they don't for a reason. From now on it will be only for dire emergencies and like some said, a gift. Like if a guy is barreled in for funeral expenses after his folks died. That is almost the only decent reason I can imagine. Can't afford your next mortgage payment? Probably your own fukkin fault.

[buztah]

I apply a strict tough love philosophy in my practice. Retainer required up front. That is non-negotiable! When clients ask for an exception I just ask them, "if you can't come up with the money now why should I believe you'll come up with it later?" IOW, most people who are broke now will be broke later and never pay you if you take pity.

[wtf]

mathy, i know this does not help you but same exact thing happened with my SISTER.

she has a pretty good job, but got ill with women stuff. and the hospital bills forced her into bankruptcy, YES in america it does happen all the time the stuff you read its true. hospitable bills forced her into this situation.

so i loan her 10k about six years ago.

time goes on, i really dont give a fuk, i dont need it really.

BUT about four months ago she starts sending me emails gloating;

* she bought a brand new jaguar
* she bought a summer home in winsconsin (she lives in chicago)

so then i reply to her note, hey you still owe me ten grand!

she forgot of course , now she claims she isnt that well off, HOLY FUK

now she no longer contacts me

what a bad world we live in

[mathdotcom]

sorry to hear that wtf

wow, surprised that family members are stiffing each other. thats even worse. i could not imagine mathy's brothers and sisters doing that.

[wtf]

i think women feel like men are supposed to do this and they somehow deserve it for being a woman or some bizarre shit like that