Thread keywords - blittydeuce, not-quite-loose-enough women, poor man's Weird Al Yankovic
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Meeting my first SBR poster in Costa Mesa, CA today Aug. 6 - chat regular and mid-level Tsoprano Inc. lieutenant (
) blittydeuce
*The drive from Vegas to SoCal is spectacular, huge hills and drops and twisty bits through the California desert and the mountains, oh my.
*Arrive at blitty's place. From that point on, it seems that every standing structure is made of stucco and terracotta. blitty looks very much Mexican but he swears he's Eastern European - he has to be one of the most laid back guys I've ever met.
*blitty drives me around the area close to the beach - girls in bikinis everywhere, oh my. With so much skin showing, I wrongly assume that these girls are all 18+. Have to ask if that girl over there is legal (no way). And that other one over there (probably not). Ugh.
*Stop at blitty's dad's house to switch the 4runner for a shiny Audi A4. blitty's dad is a big baller. Bunch of cars on the lot, among which is a Porsche Cayenne S, and he's quick to point out that his 911 is in the shop. I like this guy.
The household dog is the most submissive pitbull ever and he gives the paw without being asked for it. I give him my Lhasa Apso's number for private lessons.
*Everyone looks like an extra in a TV series. Whereas cinematographic productions based in Vegas seem to be romanticized a lot, SoCal-by-the-beach feels, looks and smells exactly as it does on TV. I thought the blond surf dude calling everyone else "dude" was just an old cliché. Not.
*After having some very impressive sushi in an understated joint, we hit a local dive bar. I get carded - wtf?!? Strict laws, apparently. I point out that my birthyear is hidden in my driver's license number - weird Quebec thing. Carding dude stares me down instead of looking at what I'm trying to point out. His face says "Do you really think I give a ****? I know you're over 21 - I just wanna look like I'm doing my job. Now get out of my face, you dork." Fine then, be like that.
*Mattylikes needs his women to be forward, and that first bar doesn't disappoint. Upon telling her that I woke up at Bellagio in Vegas this morning, a very flirty & drunk girl shoves me and shouts "YOU SUUUCK!!!". Upon promising to suck a bit less from now on, she starts laughing as if that was the funniest thing she's heard in a while. We soon discover that she's with this dude who sits there calmly, looking resigned to the fact that he can't tame that lil' ball of outgoing energy. Poor guy.
*This beautifully fit and still girly-looking 40-something blonde strikes up a conversation with me. With the ambient noise, I can only hear every other word she says. She catches my accent and starts throwing the only French she knows, which does sound pretty decent. "Parlez-vous français? Je parle un peu." She will repeat that several times over the next hour.
*Later on, the same woman is theorizing that she could pick up any guy in the bar and bring him back home, while us guys have it much tougher with girls. I guess that's her unintentional way of calling blitty and I less-than-genetically-perfect. I'd be offended if she wasn't completely correct.
*blitty makes a move for me. I'm not sure what he's saying to her exactly, but I can feel intense negotiations going on. I later learn that he's trying to lure her in to another bar with us. She looks tempted but negotiations break down at some point and we move on to the next bar by ourselves.
*Intense karaoke going on in the next place - Pump up the jam is being butchered by a horde of terminally-drunk girls. Nice! We're decently inebriated ourselves, but these girls must've started drinking while the sun was still way up there.
*The **-slash-DJ is a dead ringer for Weird Al Yankovic, only goofier looking. At some point, he pulls out a cheap electric guitar and starts wailing along with the karaoke tune. He's got some good guitar faces. I go compliment him on those.
I'm Matty Rain and I approve this redhead.
*Nothing looks interesting in here, female-wise. We go sit outside and find the big karaoke catalog on a table. We discover that Bread is a successful recording artist:
Bread's (I Smash) Everything I Own (When My Bets Lose) is pretty big in SoCal karaoke bars.
*We go back to blitty's place around 1:30. He's intent on calling some Craigslist girls over. The girls never show up. STDs will have to wait for another day.
*I'm dead tired and trying hard not to laugh at a Sarah Silverman joke cause I've declared her unfunny 30 seconds earlier. I try to figure out why she's simultaneously hot and not-hot-at-all - wacky brains and wacky eyebrows, respectively.
*Sleep comes a-knockin'. That was one long-ass day. Much thanks to you, bloodydeuce.
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Keyword teaser for tomorrow's thread: 2 guys 1 scooter
*******************************
Meeting my first SBR poster in Costa Mesa, CA today Aug. 6 - chat regular and mid-level Tsoprano Inc. lieutenant (
) blittydeuce *The drive from Vegas to SoCal is spectacular, huge hills and drops and twisty bits through the California desert and the mountains, oh my.
*Arrive at blitty's place. From that point on, it seems that every standing structure is made of stucco and terracotta. blitty looks very much Mexican but he swears he's Eastern European - he has to be one of the most laid back guys I've ever met.
*blitty drives me around the area close to the beach - girls in bikinis everywhere, oh my. With so much skin showing, I wrongly assume that these girls are all 18+. Have to ask if that girl over there is legal (no way). And that other one over there (probably not). Ugh.
*Stop at blitty's dad's house to switch the 4runner for a shiny Audi A4. blitty's dad is a big baller. Bunch of cars on the lot, among which is a Porsche Cayenne S, and he's quick to point out that his 911 is in the shop. I like this guy.
The household dog is the most submissive pitbull ever and he gives the paw without being asked for it. I give him my Lhasa Apso's number for private lessons.*Everyone looks like an extra in a TV series. Whereas cinematographic productions based in Vegas seem to be romanticized a lot, SoCal-by-the-beach feels, looks and smells exactly as it does on TV. I thought the blond surf dude calling everyone else "dude" was just an old cliché. Not.
*After having some very impressive sushi in an understated joint, we hit a local dive bar. I get carded - wtf?!? Strict laws, apparently. I point out that my birthyear is hidden in my driver's license number - weird Quebec thing. Carding dude stares me down instead of looking at what I'm trying to point out. His face says "Do you really think I give a ****? I know you're over 21 - I just wanna look like I'm doing my job. Now get out of my face, you dork." Fine then, be like that.
*Matty
*This beautifully fit and still girly-looking 40-something blonde strikes up a conversation with me. With the ambient noise, I can only hear every other word she says. She catches my accent and starts throwing the only French she knows, which does sound pretty decent. "Parlez-vous français? Je parle un peu." She will repeat that several times over the next hour.
*Later on, the same woman is theorizing that she could pick up any guy in the bar and bring him back home, while us guys have it much tougher with girls. I guess that's her unintentional way of calling blitty and I less-than-genetically-perfect. I'd be offended if she wasn't completely correct.
*blitty makes a move for me. I'm not sure what he's saying to her exactly, but I can feel intense negotiations going on. I later learn that he's trying to lure her in to another bar with us. She looks tempted but negotiations break down at some point and we move on to the next bar by ourselves.
*Intense karaoke going on in the next place - Pump up the jam is being butchered by a horde of terminally-drunk girls. Nice! We're decently inebriated ourselves, but these girls must've started drinking while the sun was still way up there.
*The **-slash-DJ is a dead ringer for Weird Al Yankovic, only goofier looking. At some point, he pulls out a cheap electric guitar and starts wailing along with the karaoke tune. He's got some good guitar faces. I go compliment him on those.
I'm Matty Rain and I approve this redhead.
*Nothing looks interesting in here, female-wise. We go sit outside and find the big karaoke catalog on a table. We discover that Bread is a successful recording artist:
Bread's (I Smash) Everything I Own (When My Bets Lose) is pretty big in SoCal karaoke bars.
*We go back to blitty's place around 1:30. He's intent on calling some Craigslist girls over. The girls never show up. STDs will have to wait for another day.
*I'm dead tired and trying hard not to laugh at a Sarah Silverman joke cause I've declared her unfunny 30 seconds earlier. I try to figure out why she's simultaneously hot and not-hot-at-all - wacky brains and wacky eyebrows, respectively.
*Sleep comes a-knockin'. That was one long-ass day. Much thanks to you, bloodydeuce.
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Keyword teaser for tomorrow's thread: 2 guys 1 scooter
You could publish these. "Memoirs of Deconstructing Matty Rain.'
