I live in a condo with ridiculously strict rules. Nothing on balcony allowed except nice furniture, gas BBQ and plants. No satellite dish, etc. It is a classy place and they do not want degenerates fukking it all up for everyone.
Anyhow, to make a long story short, I have a propane BBQ (not allowed) and a satellite dish. I need to be able to watch many games at once and also like a good selection of porn. The manager knocks on my door and says he has gotten complaints about the stuff I have on my balcony. I say everything up there is classy, you have nothing to worry about. He insists on taking a look, so I let him through.
He goes on balcony and says "no, no, no, we can't have this. No propane BBQs allowed, and no satellite dishes". I argue with him a while and say it's no big deal, I am careful with my steaks and only cook them medium rare anyways. I also say stuff like come on, you must be a sports fan, give me a break, I like to watch a lot of games. He seems to sympathize but he has to do his job and will get nothing but issues from tenants if they still see my dish up there. He stands firm.
I take out my wallet and start counting 100s in front of him. He is kind of mesmerized by the crispness of the bills. I say "so what's the fine, between you and me? Does $300 sound alright to you? I don't write cheques, so we can just keep this quiet, right?". What a fukkin' snake, he barely hesitates and takes the $300 and says that's okay, and mumbles something about being careful, etc.
What a fukkin' square, the guy could have gotten at least a nickel off of me but is so barreled in he couldn't sit on his hands for a sec. Boys, everyone can be bought, and that is why we do what we do. I am definitely going to grill some shit to celebrate the return of baseball, and will probably overcook them just so the whole building can smell it.
Anyhow, to make a long story short, I have a propane BBQ (not allowed) and a satellite dish. I need to be able to watch many games at once and also like a good selection of porn. The manager knocks on my door and says he has gotten complaints about the stuff I have on my balcony. I say everything up there is classy, you have nothing to worry about. He insists on taking a look, so I let him through.
He goes on balcony and says "no, no, no, we can't have this. No propane BBQs allowed, and no satellite dishes". I argue with him a while and say it's no big deal, I am careful with my steaks and only cook them medium rare anyways. I also say stuff like come on, you must be a sports fan, give me a break, I like to watch a lot of games. He seems to sympathize but he has to do his job and will get nothing but issues from tenants if they still see my dish up there. He stands firm.
I take out my wallet and start counting 100s in front of him. He is kind of mesmerized by the crispness of the bills. I say "so what's the fine, between you and me? Does $300 sound alright to you? I don't write cheques, so we can just keep this quiet, right?". What a fukkin' snake, he barely hesitates and takes the $300 and says that's okay, and mumbles something about being careful, etc.
What a fukkin' square, the guy could have gotten at least a nickel off of me but is so barreled in he couldn't sit on his hands for a sec. Boys, everyone can be bought, and that is why we do what we do. I am definitely going to grill some shit to celebrate the return of baseball, and will probably overcook them just so the whole building can smell it.
but pm me and I'll give you my bodog acct
