American Idol Final 8
It’s down to the Elite Eight, and unlike last week’s NCAA Elite Eight, I actually plan to hit some winners (damn you Louisville). The theme for the show is songs from the year that the performers were born. Gee that’s great. I can’t wait to hear songs that I was jamming out to years after graduating high school, as a subtle reminder of my vanishing mortality. On to the show!
This week pulls out all the stops by presenting us with baby pictures of the performers. They don’t stop there, however, as they also broadcast photos of the judges and host. Baby Paula looks exactly like grown-up Paula to the point that it’s creepy. Baby Simon has a gun which surprises nobody. Baby Ryan Seacrest is actually an inch taller than adult Ryan Seacrest which I though was just adorable.
Baby Bread
Danny Gokey +233
“Stand By Me”
If I have said it once I’ll say it a thousand times. This guy has zero chance of winning. Once again they show his wacky family, who just think that Danny’s the most terrific thing a-goin! He showboats and makes silly faces and his entire family tree laughs uncontrollably. Good Lord.
Can Gokey sing? Of course he can. But I am positive that almost everyone else is getting as tired of watching him as I am. Once the show trims the fat and gets down to the nitty gritty, Danny will be in some trouble.
Kris Allen +669
“All She Wants To Do Is Dance”
Kris Allen’s sudden fast break had the brakes applied a little bit this week, as he presented a rather subpar performance of this Don Henley song. I believe my actual response might’ve been “Blahhhh.” Not to fear, as I still think he surprises many people by outlasting Gokey. There are some nice odds for that on Matchbook.
Fantasia Barrino II +1900
“What’s Love Got To Do With It”
Dare I say that Barrino II actually looked pretty….hot? Nahhh, I’m sure I just need to replace my old contacts.
Simon called her a third rate Tina Turner, and then said that she gave “a ghastly copycat performance.” I cannot describe the joy that I experience whenever he describes something as being “ghastly.” It was a good night. Barrino II will probably be visiting the bottom three.
Anoop Desai +4900
“True Colors”
I was almost positive that Anoop would be breaking it down with some Bel Biv Devoe or something like that. He totally surprised me by choosing a great Cyndi Lauper song. Even more surprising is that he nailed it.
You never know what you get with Desai from week to week. This probably means that next week he will be horrible, but for now he is safe.
Scott MacIntyre +4900
“The Search Is Over”
I would like to offer my condolences to all of you who might’ve placed a wager on Scott in the beginning, thinking that the novelty of his blindness might push him along. The dream is officially over. This was a terrible performance for a guy who was hanging on by a thread anyways.
Allison Iraheta +1900
“I Can’t Make You Love Me”
Allison is a great singer, but I’m sure she was absolutely dreading baby picture night. Young Allison resembles the legendary Bat Boy. I felt bad for her. The good news is that she grew up. She sang wonderfully and the judges finally gave her some love. She still is not very popular with voters and will probably see the bottom three tonight.
Baby Iraheta
Matt Giraud +2400
“Part Time Lovers”
Giraud is going for the full Justin Timberlake vibe tonight as he is all JT’d out. The look, the sound, and even a few dance moves all bear intentions of reminding the audience of the pop megastar. And it kinda works. Sorta.
“Part Time Lovers”
Giraud is going for the full Justin Timberlake vibe tonight as he is all JT’d out. The look, the sound, and even a few dance moves all bear intentions of reminding the audience of the pop megastar. And it kinda works. Sorta.
The truth is, if American Idol were broadcast on the radio instead of TV, Giraud could have a really decent shot at winning this thing. Don’t be mad at me for stating it, I didn’t make up the rules. He’s still safe for a few weeks, don’t worry.
Adam Lambert +100
“Mad World”
An absolutely hilarious intro as Lambert’s parents are talking about his childhood. His mother is mentioning all the different things that Adam was interested in, when Dad says “Sports, not so much.” Awwww, poor Dad! Lambert reveals that he was more into playing dress-up to the surprise of absolutely nobody.
“Mad World”
An absolutely hilarious intro as Lambert’s parents are talking about his childhood. His mother is mentioning all the different things that Adam was interested in, when Dad says “Sports, not so much.” Awwww, poor Dad! Lambert reveals that he was more into playing dress-up to the surprise of absolutely nobody.
Lambert picks the best song week in and week out. “Mad World” is a great tune. I didn’t realize it was that old. Once again he puts his own spin on it to perfection. Simon gives him a standing ovation, which he does for nobody. Even with eight players left, I would feel comfortable telling anyone to take Lambert at even money. This contest is over for all intents and purposes. When the show is over, Adam will be playing dress up all over his debut album and Bread will be cashing another American Idol winner.
As for tonight’s elimination, I’m going with Scott MacIntyre. Don’t worry big guy, Howl At The Moon is getting a piano and a tip jar ready for ya.