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  • Bluehorseshoe
    SBR Posting Legend
    • 07-13-06
    • 15003

    #1
    You can't do this????
    Witness: Jets' Kellen Winslow Jr. was masturbating in his car



    When Jets tight end Kellen Winslow Jr. was arrested for possession of synthetic marijuana outside a Target in East Hanover back in November, police were called to the scene because a woman thought she saw him masturbating in his vehicle in the parking lot, according to court documents.

    The redacted incident report from East Hanover police shows that on Nov. 19 at 5:30 p.m., cops responded to a call from a woman who said she had parked her vehicle in a spot to the right of a black Cadillac Escalade outside the Target along Route 10. A man was sitting inside the Escalade with the window open, said the woman, whose name was redacted in the incident report. That man would later be identified as Winslow, 30, who lives in Madison.

    From the report:

    As she exited her vehicle, she commented to the male regarding how cold it was. As she stood near the open driver side window of the Escalade, she observed the males [sic] erect penis. She stated that she believed he was masturbating. [The woman] provided a written statement regarding her account.

    By the time police arrived, an officer found Winslow allegedly "slouched in his seat and moving around." Winslow sprang to an upright position when the officer arrived. When the cop asked Winslow what he was doing, Winslow allegedly said he was looking for Boston Market but was lost.

    The cop noticed Winslow was wearing "dark colored" sweatpants and wrote that "his genitals were not exposed." But the cop also noticed "two open containers of Vaseline on his center console" and plastic bags marked "Mr. Happy" and empty plastic containers of "Funky Monkey" scattered throughout the vehicle.

    Winslow allegedly told police he smoked the "Mr. Happy" and "Funky Monkey" at his home to relax because the NFL doesn't drug test for it, and that he buys the stuff on the internet and at gas stations. Police say he consented to a vehicle search, and after a few items were seized into evidence, Winslow was free to go.

    Lab tests that came back on Dec. 23 revealed Winslow was in possession of synthetic marijuana. He was formally charged on Dec. 30, and last week he pleaded not guilty before a judge in Superior Court in Morristown.

    The incident report lists lewdness among the alleged crimes, but Winslow was not charged with anything relating to alleged lewdness.

    A 10-year NFL veteran, Winslow just finished his first season with the Jets. He is scheduled to be an unrestricted free agent in 2014.

    The entire East Hanover police incident report can be found below.

  • bobby heenan
    SBR MVP
    • 03-20-09
    • 4120

    #2
    remember when eddie griffin was driving drunk and watching porn on tv on his dash...and plowed into another SUV?
    Comment
    • Bluehorseshoe
      SBR Posting Legend
      • 07-13-06
      • 15003

      #3
      Originally posted by bobby heenan
      remember when eddie griffin was driving drunk and watching porn on tv on his dash...and plowed into another SUV?

      LOL I remember that.
      Comment
      • bobby heenan
        SBR MVP
        • 03-20-09
        • 4120

        #4
        so basically the woman said to kellen "gosh its really cold isnt it"? and kellen wanted to prove that its not that cold...i dont see what was wrong here....he prob should have just communicated his feelings verbally....but oh well

        kellen is not a criminal...hes an activist and a freedom fighter....he believes that marijuana should be legal and we all have the right to JO in the privacy of our own vehicle
        Comment
        • Ghenghis Kahn
          SBR Posting Legend
          • 01-02-12
          • 19734

          #5
          this dumb fukk can't get an escort?

          vito check in pal.

          let's start an escort service for these clowns.
          Comment
          • bobby heenan
            SBR MVP
            • 03-20-09
            • 4120

            #6
            smoking weed and jerking off in our vehicles are considered taboo and criminal...when they should be accepted as social norms...i think thats what kellen is trying to prove here....hes like a 21st century rosa parks....i think we should call him rosa jerks
            Comment
            • jjgold
              SBR Aristocracy
              • 07-20-05
              • 388179

              #7
              Man he is done in NFL now

              Meaning locker rooms
              Comment
              • TonyTall
                SBR MVP
                • 08-21-13
                • 3551

                #8
                Originally posted by bobby heenan
                smoking weed and jerking off in our vehicles are considered taboo and criminal...when they should be accepted as social norms...i think thats what kellen is trying to prove here....hes like a 21st century rosa parks....i think we should call him rosa jerks
                agreed. maybe there should be a special lane next to the breakdown lane where you drive nude. jerking it is optional but if you arent totally nude and you are in that lane you get a fine
                Comment
                • Bluehorseshoe
                  SBR Posting Legend
                  • 07-13-06
                  • 15003

                  #9
                  Originally posted by Ghenghis Kahn
                  this dumb fukk can't get an escort?

                  vito check in pal.

                  let's start an escort service for these clowns.
                  Comment
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