Originally <a href='https://www.sportsbookreview.com/forum/showthread.php?p=30597643'>posted</a> on 10/18/2021:
Im going to chime in one last time.
Ive been gambling for 22 years. At 16 my dad and I would go to the otb once a week for dinner and to make $2 show bets. At 17 i was able to go to the racetrack myself. By 18 I was addicted and skipping college and going to the track instead. By 21 i had dropped out of my 40k/year college and took my refund and blew it all at the casino. My gf of 6 years broke up with me she was cheating anyways and my dad kicked me out. I was living in motels. I found out my uncle on my moms side was a bookie and i ended up owing him thousands that i never paid. He threatened me several times. My dad let me back only if i agreed to join the military. I scored one of the highest scores on the test for the air force. The day before being sworn in i ditched and left with a friend 1000 miles away. Bad choice in hindsight. Was living with 12 Guatemalan guys in a 2 story apt..3 guys in each bedroom. Roaches everywhere. Couldnt flush the 'caca' paper so the place stunk. Moved back eventually and started giving dad my cashed paychecks. He kept the money in his safe. He was out of town for a week and i broke into the safe and took the 8,000 or whatever and lost it all at the casino. Kicked out again. Tried to go back to college in another state but failed several times bc i never went to class. Was always at casino or otb. Fuckkd up several bank accounts, ccs, loans etc. Stiffed family and friends. Used 10s of thousands in student loan refunds for gambling..I owe about 100k and i never even graduated.
I now live with a lady i met at work since 2013. Pay small rent every month. Work 60 hrs a week and make a lot of ot. Have 5 ccs all maxed out probably 5kish. Have about 11 installment and payday loans most are from Indian reservations like arrowhead advance. 20k total. That particular one is 650 to payback 1800. I have another 2600 to payback 9500. They all take money out every 2 weeks. My checks are gutted. The school and govt threatened to garnish me but so far they just take my taxes. I hit slot jackpots last year so i owed this year and i still havent paid my 2020 taxes.
When i gamble now i either lose or i lose what i win. Im always in the hole. Mountain of debt. Just in the last 6 months ive gone on several runs and blown it every time. Its never enough. Casino and horses killed me. I have a lot of those blocked but not on every site. I like to bet teasers and parlays. I dont care about long term winning or br mgmt. I care about making a quick score or a run.
This most recent disaster really started because on sunday i was mad that I blew a big teaser because even tho i loved the bills and had them in every ticket, I didn't think kc would get blown out. So i used both sides. Buf +20 kc +14. Mahomes fumbles late near the goal line kc loses by 18. I blow all the funds on heritage on bj and slots on tilt. Like maybe 1200. Still had 1 small ticket with ravens in a teaser paying like 1100. So while indy is dominating them early, i deposit 240 on betonline via echk. Love Sf giants and under. 1-0 final giants. Got like 940 now. Ravens come back too and teaser hits on heritage. Place a new 200 teaser using philly eagles for Thursday. (That was a 15 team 14 point teaser, 200 to win 960, only loss was yesterday virgina tech +20.5 they lost by 21...). I take the 940 on betonline and some how with a combo of double exposure bj and slots and live dealer bac and go on insane run up to 5200. Next night i fuk around on same games on BOL and stay up all night getting to 10k. At this point i try to cashout for the 1st time because this is more than ive had in a long time and i didnt want to mess up bc i know what im capable of and this 10k could really help my situation..this is when i see the 7 day message about echks.
Ok. I will sit chilly for a week. I have some money on heritage with the 900 something balance. I believe i even mention this early in my thread/post. Decide to fk around on heritage and lose the whole 900. On tilt i go to BOL with the 10k and say ok this is easy. I will get to 11k to get my 900 back...well...i start playing multi hand bj. 2 hands. Start at like 100/hand. In 30 minutes maybe 45 im at 40,000. Betting 4000/hand. Kept hitting rebet 2x. Im in some kind of daze. Im just pushing buttons. Start losing. Down to 30k. Somehow i stop and shut it off. Take a screenshot of balance. Try to cashout but again 7 day message. Ok this is awesome. From $240 to $30,000. Next day i start making list of all loans, ccs, ppl i owe. Feels so great to be getting out of debt. Even will have spending money for a day trip im suppo3d to go on in a f3w weeks. All i have to do is wait til monday. The next night i believe was Thursday. Opened the site to make sure balance was still there. Played slots and few games for minor action. Like a few 100. Birdseed. Not sure why really. Was even or so. Actually remember getting worried about how im gonna cash out 30k, for bank and tax purposes, convert btc etc. Doug can attest because i pmd him asking him a Q. Told myself "good, wont have to worry about playing since i dont want to win anymore since im worried about the large cashout". Well fri night hits and i say what's the harm in some horse racing. I can bet a few 100 and it wont make a dent and i can have fun and no pressure if i lose..well i ended up betting 500 or more on races and lost a small chunk. Was down to 25k maybe. Wanted to get back to 30 and mad that i was so stupid for even playing. Stayed up all night got all the way down to 8500 playing live bac but it got it back to 22k. Phew disaster averted. (You would think after this i would be motivated to stop).
Sat afternoon half asleep at work i play some big bets on cfb and nhl. Break even mostly. So im still sitting at 22 or 23 and i say well if i get back to 25 that would be good. Of course if the volunteers would have won i woulda been there but they got bs'd in that game. So live bac it is. Get all the way to 29k but dont stop. Im tipping the dealer $100 chips. Betting 2k a hand. Hit a cold spell and back to 24 maybe. Do some live bj and craps and lose. Go to double exposure bj. Max bet is 500, 1 spot only. Start at 200. Lose a ton. Bump to 400. Lose a ton. I proceed to lose about 15,000. Unreal. Im just hitting buttons watching the balance dwindle. I dont stop because i know it has to give me that hot streak. Dealer 21 every hand. Bj like 7 times in a row. Every split and DD loses. Im at 10k and start panicking. Sweating. I know whats coming. Am i really about to do this? If i only had the wherewithal to realize that just a few days earlier i tried to cashout 10k i would be in an amazing spot still, even after losing 15k just like that. But no, in these moments you cant think. You push the buttons. 9k. 8k. 7k. Omg. 8k.9k. 10. 11.12. Ok thank god there we go back up. And then absolute crush. Never got back over 10. Hovered around 8 and 9 and then shot all the way down to 4. Heat beating super fast. I get to 1368 and somehow stop. Cant even tell you how I felt. When to bet on nfl parlay with the 1368 to be done and hope for like 6k or something. Cancel that and go to multi hand bj (the game i got to 30k on). Lost 1200 betting 2 hands 50. Then 25. Then 5 fkng dollars a hand. Lost almost every single one. Saved 135 bucks for some miracle ml dog parlay to pay a few K. Got the first with Jacksonville but lions took a dump.
Im so sick that i deposited the last 900 in my bank account on heritage and lost it all because i used the lions in every ticket. How can someone be so sick to blow 40k and then deposit another 900, the last 900 to their name, just hours later???
Now i have to throw away the list of all the people and things i was gonna pay back/pay off. Most of the time when i do this im really mad. Right now im just sad. In a daze. I also have a ritual no jerking off while on a run. I didnt even enjoy doing it this morning. Fk man im so messed up. I even told myself a few nights ago that even me, the worst ever, can't fukk up 30k. Its unbelievable. I had one more day to cashout. It was gone in 2 hours. Was maintaining over 20k all week. Not sure how im gonna hold it together tomorrow at work having to pretend to be friendly with everyone good mornings and give fake smiles and shit.
I know some tried to give suggestions in the other post. Some truly tried to be helpful or at least take my side. I will never learn. I could say im done forever but i know in a few days i will be numb to this and looking how to get funds and make a bet.
Goodbye everyone.
Im going to chime in one last time.
Ive been gambling for 22 years. At 16 my dad and I would go to the otb once a week for dinner and to make $2 show bets. At 17 i was able to go to the racetrack myself. By 18 I was addicted and skipping college and going to the track instead. By 21 i had dropped out of my 40k/year college and took my refund and blew it all at the casino. My gf of 6 years broke up with me she was cheating anyways and my dad kicked me out. I was living in motels. I found out my uncle on my moms side was a bookie and i ended up owing him thousands that i never paid. He threatened me several times. My dad let me back only if i agreed to join the military. I scored one of the highest scores on the test for the air force. The day before being sworn in i ditched and left with a friend 1000 miles away. Bad choice in hindsight. Was living with 12 Guatemalan guys in a 2 story apt..3 guys in each bedroom. Roaches everywhere. Couldnt flush the 'caca' paper so the place stunk. Moved back eventually and started giving dad my cashed paychecks. He kept the money in his safe. He was out of town for a week and i broke into the safe and took the 8,000 or whatever and lost it all at the casino. Kicked out again. Tried to go back to college in another state but failed several times bc i never went to class. Was always at casino or otb. Fuckkd up several bank accounts, ccs, loans etc. Stiffed family and friends. Used 10s of thousands in student loan refunds for gambling..I owe about 100k and i never even graduated.
I now live with a lady i met at work since 2013. Pay small rent every month. Work 60 hrs a week and make a lot of ot. Have 5 ccs all maxed out probably 5kish. Have about 11 installment and payday loans most are from Indian reservations like arrowhead advance. 20k total. That particular one is 650 to payback 1800. I have another 2600 to payback 9500. They all take money out every 2 weeks. My checks are gutted. The school and govt threatened to garnish me but so far they just take my taxes. I hit slot jackpots last year so i owed this year and i still havent paid my 2020 taxes.
When i gamble now i either lose or i lose what i win. Im always in the hole. Mountain of debt. Just in the last 6 months ive gone on several runs and blown it every time. Its never enough. Casino and horses killed me. I have a lot of those blocked but not on every site. I like to bet teasers and parlays. I dont care about long term winning or br mgmt. I care about making a quick score or a run.
This most recent disaster really started because on sunday i was mad that I blew a big teaser because even tho i loved the bills and had them in every ticket, I didn't think kc would get blown out. So i used both sides. Buf +20 kc +14. Mahomes fumbles late near the goal line kc loses by 18. I blow all the funds on heritage on bj and slots on tilt. Like maybe 1200. Still had 1 small ticket with ravens in a teaser paying like 1100. So while indy is dominating them early, i deposit 240 on betonline via echk. Love Sf giants and under. 1-0 final giants. Got like 940 now. Ravens come back too and teaser hits on heritage. Place a new 200 teaser using philly eagles for Thursday. (That was a 15 team 14 point teaser, 200 to win 960, only loss was yesterday virgina tech +20.5 they lost by 21...). I take the 940 on betonline and some how with a combo of double exposure bj and slots and live dealer bac and go on insane run up to 5200. Next night i fuk around on same games on BOL and stay up all night getting to 10k. At this point i try to cashout for the 1st time because this is more than ive had in a long time and i didnt want to mess up bc i know what im capable of and this 10k could really help my situation..this is when i see the 7 day message about echks.
Ok. I will sit chilly for a week. I have some money on heritage with the 900 something balance. I believe i even mention this early in my thread/post. Decide to fk around on heritage and lose the whole 900. On tilt i go to BOL with the 10k and say ok this is easy. I will get to 11k to get my 900 back...well...i start playing multi hand bj. 2 hands. Start at like 100/hand. In 30 minutes maybe 45 im at 40,000. Betting 4000/hand. Kept hitting rebet 2x. Im in some kind of daze. Im just pushing buttons. Start losing. Down to 30k. Somehow i stop and shut it off. Take a screenshot of balance. Try to cashout but again 7 day message. Ok this is awesome. From $240 to $30,000. Next day i start making list of all loans, ccs, ppl i owe. Feels so great to be getting out of debt. Even will have spending money for a day trip im suppo3d to go on in a f3w weeks. All i have to do is wait til monday. The next night i believe was Thursday. Opened the site to make sure balance was still there. Played slots and few games for minor action. Like a few 100. Birdseed. Not sure why really. Was even or so. Actually remember getting worried about how im gonna cash out 30k, for bank and tax purposes, convert btc etc. Doug can attest because i pmd him asking him a Q. Told myself "good, wont have to worry about playing since i dont want to win anymore since im worried about the large cashout". Well fri night hits and i say what's the harm in some horse racing. I can bet a few 100 and it wont make a dent and i can have fun and no pressure if i lose..well i ended up betting 500 or more on races and lost a small chunk. Was down to 25k maybe. Wanted to get back to 30 and mad that i was so stupid for even playing. Stayed up all night got all the way down to 8500 playing live bac but it got it back to 22k. Phew disaster averted. (You would think after this i would be motivated to stop).
Sat afternoon half asleep at work i play some big bets on cfb and nhl. Break even mostly. So im still sitting at 22 or 23 and i say well if i get back to 25 that would be good. Of course if the volunteers would have won i woulda been there but they got bs'd in that game. So live bac it is. Get all the way to 29k but dont stop. Im tipping the dealer $100 chips. Betting 2k a hand. Hit a cold spell and back to 24 maybe. Do some live bj and craps and lose. Go to double exposure bj. Max bet is 500, 1 spot only. Start at 200. Lose a ton. Bump to 400. Lose a ton. I proceed to lose about 15,000. Unreal. Im just hitting buttons watching the balance dwindle. I dont stop because i know it has to give me that hot streak. Dealer 21 every hand. Bj like 7 times in a row. Every split and DD loses. Im at 10k and start panicking. Sweating. I know whats coming. Am i really about to do this? If i only had the wherewithal to realize that just a few days earlier i tried to cashout 10k i would be in an amazing spot still, even after losing 15k just like that. But no, in these moments you cant think. You push the buttons. 9k. 8k. 7k. Omg. 8k.9k. 10. 11.12. Ok thank god there we go back up. And then absolute crush. Never got back over 10. Hovered around 8 and 9 and then shot all the way down to 4. Heat beating super fast. I get to 1368 and somehow stop. Cant even tell you how I felt. When to bet on nfl parlay with the 1368 to be done and hope for like 6k or something. Cancel that and go to multi hand bj (the game i got to 30k on). Lost 1200 betting 2 hands 50. Then 25. Then 5 fkng dollars a hand. Lost almost every single one. Saved 135 bucks for some miracle ml dog parlay to pay a few K. Got the first with Jacksonville but lions took a dump.
Im so sick that i deposited the last 900 in my bank account on heritage and lost it all because i used the lions in every ticket. How can someone be so sick to blow 40k and then deposit another 900, the last 900 to their name, just hours later???
Now i have to throw away the list of all the people and things i was gonna pay back/pay off. Most of the time when i do this im really mad. Right now im just sad. In a daze. I also have a ritual no jerking off while on a run. I didnt even enjoy doing it this morning. Fk man im so messed up. I even told myself a few nights ago that even me, the worst ever, can't fukk up 30k. Its unbelievable. I had one more day to cashout. It was gone in 2 hours. Was maintaining over 20k all week. Not sure how im gonna hold it together tomorrow at work having to pretend to be friendly with everyone good mornings and give fake smiles and shit.
I know some tried to give suggestions in the other post. Some truly tried to be helpful or at least take my side. I will never learn. I could say im done forever but i know in a few days i will be numb to this and looking how to get funds and make a bet.
Goodbye everyone.