Originally <a href='/showthread.php?p=12457343'>posted</a> on 11/22/2011:

I go from a $2,000 deposit to $18000, feel like I can't be beat, then withdraw 10K, leaving 8K, planning on running it back up thinking I won't have to deposit in the near future, then I blow that 8K, and have to send $2,000 back in and start over.

I can't handle it. I just can't handle losing. If I have a losing day, I take it personally. I make sure that I win it back the next day and then it just gets into this chasing habit.

All the while, my personal life suffers, I go from being in a great mood with the g/f and promising to take her to dinner and movie to telling her to shut the fukk up and go away because I get hit on a bad beat.

Don't think I can handle it anymore. Too negatively affecting my personality, mood, and health.

It has been profitable, but I"m not sure if wild erratic profits are worth the damages. I'm too young for this shit. Maybe I'll get divorced in my 40s and can move to vegas with no responsibility or commitment and degen my life away. The only time I feel alive lately is when I cash a huge bet and that doesn't seem healthy.