Gosh, my 'picking every game' threads are so popular. These are just for fun, not my actual bets which are detailed in another far better thread, so stop reading now and go back to checking out all the useful 'Lock Lock Lock' postings. Seriously, return to the forum, begone.
Good, now I can type this crap out purely for my own onanistic amusement....
Steelers -7.5 over Raiders
Travel broadens the mind and also the margin of defeat
Texans +6.5 @ Jets
Based on the season thus far the Jets will probably win by seven thanks to a freak safety scored as time expires and the kernel of sheer black hatred in my ulcerated heart will grow larger, larger, more malevolent until it explodes into a..... okay, what game's next?
Panthers +11.5 @ Ravens
I confidently expect the Panthers to expend every ounce of energy in their bodies to keep their margin of defeat to precisely eleven points. They've got their pride!
Redskins +7 @ Titans
Would I be the first guy to say "I managed to get a ticket to the Redskins game from a scalper" ? Unlikely.
Cowboys -6 over Lions
Lions seem to me to be the unluckiest team in football. I guess Kitna will be motivated.
Packers -3 @ Vikings
My official 'coin-toss pick of the week'. The only 100% cast-iron certainty is that in an alternative universe the Vikings will cover, making me right either way
Bengals -5 over Bills
Battle of the B's, Bengals better by 'bout six.
Jaguars -2.5 over Browns
That 'Hot in Cleveland' sitcom wasn't very good. Until there's a mediocre cable-only sitcom based in Jacksonville I have to side with the home team here.
Chiefs -8 over Cardinals
Chiefs chafed last week means a cheerless chore for terrible visiting team. Alliteration is always abysmal.
Saints -11.5 over Seahawks
Seattle, a transitioning team from a weak division, on the road, without a quarterback, in the dome-home of the defending champs. What could possibly go wrong?
Falcons -3 @ St Louis
The Falcons always zig when I think they'll zag. So this week I'm zigging.
49ers -3 over Buccaneers
Tampa won't feel at home in a warm climate by the sea so... oh, hang on.
Colts +4 @ Patriots
It's probably in the NFL rulebook that one of Manning Bros. Inc. has to win each Sunday. No, not that one, the secret rulebook.
Eagles -3 over Giants
White quarterbacks can't jump.
Broncos +9.5 @ Chargers
By this stage of 'picking every game' I'm really past caring. Thank heavens nobody's reading.
All lines taken from footballlocks.com at the time of posting
Good, now I can type this crap out purely for my own onanistic amusement....
Steelers -7.5 over Raiders
Travel broadens the mind and also the margin of defeat
Texans +6.5 @ Jets
Based on the season thus far the Jets will probably win by seven thanks to a freak safety scored as time expires and the kernel of sheer black hatred in my ulcerated heart will grow larger, larger, more malevolent until it explodes into a..... okay, what game's next?
Panthers +11.5 @ Ravens
I confidently expect the Panthers to expend every ounce of energy in their bodies to keep their margin of defeat to precisely eleven points. They've got their pride!
Redskins +7 @ Titans
Would I be the first guy to say "I managed to get a ticket to the Redskins game from a scalper" ? Unlikely.
Cowboys -6 over Lions
Lions seem to me to be the unluckiest team in football. I guess Kitna will be motivated.
Packers -3 @ Vikings
My official 'coin-toss pick of the week'. The only 100% cast-iron certainty is that in an alternative universe the Vikings will cover, making me right either way
Bengals -5 over Bills
Battle of the B's, Bengals better by 'bout six.
Jaguars -2.5 over Browns
That 'Hot in Cleveland' sitcom wasn't very good. Until there's a mediocre cable-only sitcom based in Jacksonville I have to side with the home team here.
Chiefs -8 over Cardinals
Chiefs chafed last week means a cheerless chore for terrible visiting team. Alliteration is always abysmal.
Saints -11.5 over Seahawks
Seattle, a transitioning team from a weak division, on the road, without a quarterback, in the dome-home of the defending champs. What could possibly go wrong?
Falcons -3 @ St Louis
The Falcons always zig when I think they'll zag. So this week I'm zigging.
49ers -3 over Buccaneers
Tampa won't feel at home in a warm climate by the sea so... oh, hang on.
Colts +4 @ Patriots
It's probably in the NFL rulebook that one of Manning Bros. Inc. has to win each Sunday. No, not that one, the secret rulebook.
Eagles -3 over Giants
White quarterbacks can't jump.
Broncos +9.5 @ Chargers
By this stage of 'picking every game' I'm really past caring. Thank heavens nobody's reading.
All lines taken from footballlocks.com at the time of posting