Super Bowl Limbo
Sunday happens to be my birthday, and the only thing that would make me happier than winning some money, would be if Marilyn Monroe jumped out of a cake and sang “Happy Birthday Mr. Breadident.” Since my initials are JSK, not JFK, I guess I’ll just concentrate on the game.
The Steelers have been very kind to my wallet in these playoffs. I cashed in both of their wins against the Chargers and Ravens. I also hit them to win the AFC at +165 early in the postseason. I’m locked in on them to win the Super Bowl at +115, which I did once the Giants were eliminated. With that being said, I’m going to leave the 7 points alone. Pittsburgh wins the game, and I make money.
So that’s it then. Enjoy the game and try not to drink too much. Good luck!
And if you believe that I’m content leaving it at that for the flippin Super Bowl, then you just don’t know Bread that well. I’m playing several prop bets. For my props to have a chance, I’ll be needing the low scoring game that I’m banking on. 46 points or less for the birthday boy please!
Total score – Lower!
Arizona backers have been getting paid in full. After Wild Card Weekend, they were the biggest dog on the board to win it all at +3250. Do I wish that I had a piece of that action now? Yes. Do I think it will cash? Absolutely not. There will be no repeat of the NYG caliber Super Bowl upset. Pittsburgh will win this game. By how much, I’m not sure. The Steeler’s moneyline at -255 should be a safe play.
The Cardinal’s high-flying offense is going to get roughed up by Pittsburgh’s nasty defense. Their number one passing D is going to make life rough for quarterback Kurt Warner. He may as well pull a “Eugene Robinson” right now and get busted in one of Tampa’s high-profile gentlemens’ clubs for soliciting sex, to avoid the pain that awaits him.
Lower!
The Arizona passing party has been going nuts. Larry Fitzgerald has set a new NFL postseason record with 419 receiving yards. Many of those yards can be contributed to Warner just slinging the ball deep and allowing his star target to out-jump his defenders for long gains. The problem is Pittsburgh isn’t going to allow Warner the time to get the ball that far down the field, and Warner isn’t mobile enough to buy that time. Look for Defensive Player of the Year, James Harrison, to pick up a couple sacks. I am more afraid of Troy Polamalu beating my Under with INT returns than I am of Arizona’s passing game.
On the other side of the ball you have Ben Roethlisberger and the Pittsburgh offense. Think of them as your first girl. They’re not that pretty, but they pay for your dinner, which makes them more attractive than they actually are. If not for sports gambling, I would never watch a single minute of this team. Through the magic of sports wagering, the Steelers clock running offense becomes a thing of beauty. When their games go Under, they go way under. The eight times that the Under hit, the average total score of the game was 26. I’m feeling that this game will also be low by quite a bit. I’m even looking at some adjusted lines. At The Greek you can play Under 40.5 (+190) or Under 37.5 (+270). I’ll be on both.
OK, that’s low enough
I don’t remember my first birthday and I don’t remember my 21st birthday, but I hope to remember this one as the day that I got paid by the Steelers. Even if I won’t respect her in the morning.
Well written up and quite funny... 
