Who to Follow... Who to fade.

[DangerousOne]

OK guys. It's time to revisit Who to follow... Who to Fade!!! I put together this comprehensive list of 50+ people to fade last year and it's about time we study up so history does not repeat itself. Tonight we post the 1st 10, you'll get the rest later in the week.

NEVER FOLLOW THESE GUYS
1. Guy with Favorite Team in Nickname - Sorry UCSB Slug Fan, Badger Backer, Gator Guy, or Golden Gopher Gambler. I have a hard time believing "this" guy can be an objective capper.
2. Guy with any drug refrence in avatar or name - Really? Cannabis Capper? High Handicapper? I should be taking your advice on College Football? However I will listen when you list your favorite in-game munchies (I hope that thread is coming soon)
3. ALL CAPS GUY - WHY ARE YOU YELLING ABOUT YOUR PICKS? WHEN YOU LEARN TO MASTER THE CAPS LOCK FUNCTION ON YOUR LAPTOP I WILL PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR THREAD. UNTIL THEN... I'm gonna need you to keep it down.
4. Guarantee Guy - Guarantee guy (aka Lock of the lifetime guy) always makes my fade list. Why wouldn't you guarantee a result in a game that YOUR NOT PLAYING IN?
5. Captain Cliche - This guy will attempt to fool you with terms like "This smells like a trap game" or "I see this as a let down game" then thrown in great forum words like sharps, squares, and chalk. No helpful stats or info supporting his arguement... just cool words.
6. System Guy - Everytime I hear someone talk about their system I think about when Bart asked Homer about his system and he whispered to him "I dont tell your mother how much $$$ I lose".
7. Hot Chick Avatar Guy - I like this guy... never wins but I really do like this guy.
8. Guy who makes list making fun of 90% of the forum - He gets a pass.
9. Double post Guy
9. Double post Guy
10. the "Wants to bet all of you" guy. This guy offers 1,000,000,000 imaginary points with a healthy reserve of Schrute Bucks and Stanley Nickles to anyone wanting to bet against him on the forum. Between 100's of sports books online, local bookies, weekend in vegas, or some friendly bets w/ his buddies he still has to BET THE HOUSE and bet it against ALL OF YOU!!! This guy is an angry gambler and when he does move out of his moms basement we'll all be sorry. But until then... stay angry my friend!!!

I'll hit up 11-20 l8r 2nite. Some guys to follow... Machine Head... he's been solid again this year, Harry Lloyd was GREAT the last 2 years but had a couple of rough weeks. If he starts up again pay attention. Martin is pretty sharp. And El Stugoto has been killin it early.

[DangerousOne]

11. Mega unit Guy - At the end of the year he's down 330 units, of course that's only $3.30.
12. 96 New Threads A day Guy - You can tell he spends all his time capping.[/color]
13. 14th In Game Thread Guy - Making sure everyone is not denied the opportunity to share their thoughts
14. Bodily Function Description Guy - I hate this guy. This guy explains why his team didn't cover with feces to cover up his lack of verbal skills. "Pittsburgh took a big dump in the 4th quarter" or "Georgia took a crap all over this game". This fade capper is tough to see in advance because you don't know that he's Bodily Function Description Guy until after the game when he's explaining why his team didn't cover. If your Sunday morning post includes my team took a poop, crap, sh*t, piss or any other bodily function you are fade guy #14 The Bodily Function Description guy.
15. Wrong Name Guy - Easy to spot Wrong Name Guy. He does a whole write-up about how Deshawn Robinson is having a great year at Michigan and thinks Kellen Clemmons is the best quarterback ever to come out of Boise St. He thought Russel Wilson is still playing at NC State and has stat knowlege letting you how Nate Newton lead Auburn in passing & rushing last year. But if you ever follow Wrong Name Guy it's your own fault because well... you know this guy. He's also in your Fantasy league trying to decide whether to darft Adrian Patterson or Chris Jackson with the 1st pick, has no idea which Steve Smith he drafted, thought he got a steal when he took Kurt Warner in the 7th, and every year asks somewhere aound the 12th round "Did anyone take Drew Brees yet?" Yes Bobby (everyone says at the same time while enunciating both words and rolling their eyes) . Other ways to identify this guy are he drafted 4 kickers, is most likely someone's cousin or brother in the league AND he is probably the catcher on your softball team. Hope you enjoyed. GL ALL

[NoHero]

I lol'd at "double post guy" X2

And Machine has been up and down lately but he's one of the people here I actually follow somewhat.

[numismatist]

I am a great fade right now. Started off 11-2 and now am 12-15.
That takes alot of bad hard work.

[suicidekings]

6. System Guy - Everytime I hear someone talk about their system I think about when Bart asked Homer about his system and he whispered to him "I dont tell your mother how much $$$ I lose".

Perfect. Love it.

7. Hot Chick Avatar Guy - I like this guy... never wins but I really do like this guy.

Disagree

[cant call it]

hell yeah , cant foget 'rub elbows with vegas bigshots' guy

[DangerousOne]

He's on the list can't call it.... i'll post 16-20 later.

[DanzeM]

good stuff Dangerous One, definitely got a good chuckle out of that, spot on. I like the infallible system guy, that proclaims anyone not following his method is a square, sucker etc etc

[DangerousOne]

good stuff Dangerous One, definitely got a good chuckle out of that, spot on. I like the infallible system guy, that proclaims anyone not following his method is a square, sucker etc etc

That guy is a combination of #5 & #6

[BigdaddyQH]

If you have to follow someone, you are in the wrong business. People who can't cook should keep out of the kitchen.

[Greyraptor]

Love your list Dangerous! Absolutely the funniest thing I read all morning and today I truly needed it. Guess I am #7 but I am ok with that. Have a great weekend and GL with your picks!

[Glitch]

i think im number 5 and 14. ah well.

[DangerousOne]

16. Sucker in the Room - You can spot this fade capper by his pleading for the forum to follow his picks because "Vegas really screwed up this time". His thread usually contains the phrase "Am I the only one that likes ___ this week?" Of course you are, Of course you are. He is always present in the forum and fading him pays well so keep an eye out for him, however if you are searching for this capper and can't find him, then guess what... There's ALWAYS one in the room.
Note*** Following guy that has Monkey playing guitar avatar will get you up 15 units in a hurry!!!
17. Awesome QB Guy - This is the guy who always takes the team with a top 5 QB even though they are +7 or more on the road against a top 20 defense. Usually cant name another player on the team other than say.. Christian Ponder, and then is surprised when they lose by 40 to say.. Oklahoma. Awesome QB Guy hasnt figured out the whole good pitching beats good hitting thing. I must admit, I have been guilty of being this a$$hole until I learned whats up.

[face]

5. Captain Cliche - This guy will attempt to fool you with terms like "This smells like a trap game" or "I see this as a let down game" then thrown in great forum words like sharps, squares, and chalk. No helpful stats or info supporting his arguement... just cool words.

[Jimb0311]

How bout the guy with the "In thread game" and post every second on every play and always talking about what the team should've done...Always fade em in 2nd half!

[Galante118]

hahaha love this thread, think some names should be thrown around for newer guys like myself thanks for the thread!

[DangerousOne]

If you have to follow someone, you are in the wrong business. People who can't cook should keep out of the kitchen.

18. Shameless self promoter in my thread guy

[BiffTFinancial]

18. Shameless self promoter in my thread guy

[DangerousOne]

Check out the new capper Tim Tbo... he seems pretty solid. Also Elstugoto is still hot. I know Machine has cooled off a little but all you tards stop giving him sh*t... he'll still profit at the end of the year. Also Larry The Legend has been good this year. Post hot cappers so we know who to check out and I'll add to the who to fade list later.

[mp5070]

[Gundog]

Got a good chuckle reading this. Keep up the good work.

[DangerousOne]

19. The Points Mooch - Ah Yes, The Points Mooch. This fade monster can ONLY be found on the SBR forum and does not share his knowledge with the rest of us to help out his follow man, show how smart he is, or even for the competition. The points mooch is only in it only for the precious SBR points and has no problem asking for them IE... "Can you help a fellow capper out". Maybe he saving up for that medium Papa Johns cheese pizza or an overpriced music player, but you know that he is a fader because if you win games you make REAL DOLLARS AND CAN BUY THAT STUFF ANYWAY. On a completely unrelated topic I was unhappy w/ my IPOD recently and returned it to the Apple store where I purchased it from. I informed the sales associate that I would like my refund in SBR points. Long story short 45 minutes and 11 confused sales clerks later... I am the proud owner of 1 MILLION POINTS because... Whoever dies w/ the most points wins?

[Skeletor42]

My system shows that over 80% of people will like this post. There is a high probability that LSU will win against bama. My super computer told me so!!!!

[paranoyd androyd]

good for a laugh

[shopbar picks]

dont forget the "as a homer guy". As a nebraska fan i posted they would get wiped by MSU. Fade homer picks. Great BTW

[DangerousOne]

[COLOR=#000000 !important]20. The Sammy - How legendary of a fader are you when you get your own category. He's not wrong name guy or system guy (although he does break rules # 3,4,10,11,& 16). HE'S HIS OWN FRIGGIN CATEGORY. I can't stop reading his thread... it's like crack to a capper, some of the best fade material ANYWHERE. No stats, no write ups, no analysis only guarantees how he will leave the forum if his $90,000 play that he has to drive to Vegas to place doesn't hit. All the bright colors, bling-bling emoticons (I think that will be guy #21), million unit plays, motivational speeches, & ALL CAPS capping make Sammy's thread BAR NONE (like William Floyd) the most entertaining thread in the world make even that Dos Equis guy proud. He even has Sammy-ism's like .... MY WORD IN LIFE MEANS A LOT, WHETHER YOU ALL BELIEVE IT OR NOT, I AM VERY INFLUENTIAL AND HAVE A MIND THAT SEEMS TO GO DEEPER THAN THE EYE CAN SEE. I can't make that stuff up, I actually cut & pasted it from his thread. However as entertaining as his is, at the end of the when you break 5 rules on the list you can't help but becoming.... Fader #20 The Sammy.Congrats to all of you that got my William Floyd reference.

[DangerousOne]

21. Incorrect Emoticon Guy - First of all I am not an emotocist (some of my best friends are emoticons). All I'm saying is if you use certain emoticons or certain emoticons incorrectly you cannot be taken seriously and you are #21 Incorrect Emoticon Guy. Lets review:

This emoticon cannot be used to mean we cashed in. It can only be used if you have recently purchased a shiny new tooth or you're sportin' a new watch. Have you ever seen a serious capper include this in his thread?


This breaks rule #14.


This one is cruel to "special" emoticons


No seasonal emoticons.


This one just makes me uncomfortable


No endangered emoticons


You will not use this emoticon... You will not use this emoticon... you will not use this emoticon.


I'm just not sure this one is consentual and I don't think the smaller emoticon is 18.

[DangerousOne]

At 1st glance I thought this one was OK, but after reviewing this is absolutely goaltending and we won't have that in our forum.

If your emoticon is carrying a sign you clearly don't understand emoticons


&*%&^%$##$^**^%$#@)(**%%


No Dennis Rodman emoticons


I SAID NO DENNIS RODMAN EMOTICONS.

[DangerousOne]

22. Game was fixed guy AKA The Conspiracy Kid - How tiny is your universe if you're starting threads w/ "the game was fixed"? Your $10 bet was just not enough to make Northwestern lay down last week in the final minute. Chances are that Oswald killed Kennedy, Al Queda was behind 9/11, & we did land on the moon. If you EVER claim that you lost a game because it was fixed you are a fader.

[GChild]

This is great

[DangerousOne]

Please feel free to post any hot cappers you're following this year, or anyone that is fade material.

[High3rEl3m3nt]

what a riot...that pretty much covers every sbr poster. I have High in my name, but have never done drugs...not even pot

[GameSaver33]

BRAND NEW fade
material


GameSaver33




Lovin this post or thread or whatever this buncha funny chit is.

BTW ---- Kent State is a scoring machine...

[DangerousOne]

23. Random Stats Guy - This fader causes mass hysteria w/ his guessing of mythical stats. He will tell you Tim Tebow never lost on Ramadan, Ty Detmer was winless against teams with crustaceans as mascots, Hampton college is 12-0 against the spread again vs teams that start w/ Q, and guarantee that Wyoming has never lost on a Monday night (I'm pretty sure that's true). R.S.G. is a heavy drinker and I'm guessing a scratch golfer.

[numismatist]

Great thread, I am definitely guilty of some of these things as a poster. Very funny stuff