[Auto Donk]

Ah yes, after blowing my stack (literally and figuratively) over SBullshitR disconnecting me twice during key hands in yesterday's daily trny, I decided to give the a.m. daily a whirl again today, to see what sort of hi-jinks and chicanery SBullshitR would have in store for me today......

In fact, given that the writing is now on the wall, given the bad beat I took this morning to some tard deciding to call knowing he had to be way behind, yet hitting essentially a three outter on the flop, I have decided to take the average SBR poster, as they call us, through a journey over the next week or two (however long this fun and exciting adventure will last -- usually it's 2-3 weeks), and will document daily the royal ass reaming I receive on this site, in a new series entitled "The DOOM SWITCH Chronicles."

Each day you can come along with me as I venture to the felt, knowing i'm going to lose to some lesser ass hand and be knocked out of the daily trny far earlier than I should, and I will give you a close, in depth view of how it happened, when it happened, and the impact on my family, chimp, friends, professional colleagues, etc..... so, without further ado, I give you installment one of The DOOM SWITCH Chronicles:

(NOTE: I was going to call this series "The DOOM SWITCH Monologues," but I received a cease and desist letter from Bobby Wave's legal counsel, threatening legal action if I used that title, as it, in the eyes of wussywaves' lawyer, was too similar in name to Wussy's series on his style of play, known as "The VAGINA Monologue.")

But I regress.... now to day one:

The bubble is getting near, down to about 900 chips as I've been card dead pretty much the entire trny.... get AJ suited in early position, blinds are up to 100-200, so time to shove..... Here, the fact that I haven't been disconnected after receiving the cards should've been a helluva red flag not to play the hand, but you know me, figuring I'll be at least an 80-20 favorite over the typical sbr idiot calling small stacked shoves with ace rag, I had to go ahead and put em in. Folds all the way around to the small blind, where the trny chip leader decides to say, "penetrate the stats, I'll call knowing I'm way behind. Plus, this puussy is always whining about being "doom switched," so I'll probably suck out on him."

So he calls with his 80-20 dog, A8, and upon seeing the cards turn up (and seeing how crushed he is with ace rag), I immediately cringe with fear. What, you ask??? why cringe with fear when you've got a donk posed to double you up, having for all itents and purposes only three outs? Why????? Because it's mother f'n S Bullshit R!!!!! I wish I could've put money on the longshot odds that the next card dealt would be an 8. I knew it was coming, and would've banked..... neverthess, my fear was well substantiated, and the reason for no disconnect became clear..... I lose the hand and am done..... See you tomorrow, "S B R Posters," with another installment of The DOOM SWITCH Chronicles.

[Optional]

(NOTE: I was going to call this series "The DOOM SWITCH Monologues," but I received a cease and desist letter from Bobby Wave's legal counsel, threatening legal action if I used that title, as it, in the eyes of wussywaves' lawyer, was too similar in name to Wussy's series on his style of play, known as "The VAGINA Monologue.")

Shoulda gone with the "Doom Switch Moanologues"

[daneblazer]

Sometimes if you switch the compatibility mode by right clicking the SBR Poker icon, it helps with the disconnects.

[Vegas39]

another installment of as the donker whines

[bobbywaves]

Plus, this puussy is always whining about being "doom switched," so I'll probably suck out on him."

[Auto Donk]

you may have thought that was me making a self-deprecating joke, but I am pretty damn confident, and wikkidinsane, the "player" who made the call, can probably confirm that, all humor aside, he was actually thinking along those lines when he made the call...... wikked, like tony stewart on a dirt track after killing someon, only you know what was going on in your mind when you finally called my shove..... tell wussy waves and I whether I had your general mindet nailed with my comments above.

and wikked, congrats on your finish, whatever it turned out to be, you were chip leader as i turned it off.

[wikkidinsane]

you may have thought that was me making a self-deprecating joke, but I am pretty damn confident, and wikkidinsane, the "player" who made the call, can probably confirm that, all humor aside, he was actually thinking along those lines when he made the call...... wikked, like tony stewart on a dirt track after killing someon, only you know what was going on in your mind when you finally called my shove..... tell wussy waves and I whether I had your general mindet nailed with my comments above.

and wikked, congrats on your finish, whatever it turned out to be, you were chip leader as i turned it off.

Hehe. I couldnt win a 50-50 in the end and went busto with 8-8 and someone called with kj pre. You didnt have much chips but when the cards were turned over i was like "motherfuker!" you have me dominated A-8 VS A-Q I BELIEVE

[Auto Donk]

ah fukin hell yah........... DAY TWO: HEADLINE: "S BULLSHIT R COMES THRU AGAIN!!!"

I didn't feel like writing in The Chronicles this morning, so I figured I'd wait to take my daily ass reaming in the 2pm....... sbullshitr, as usual, didn't disappoint. f'n final table, down to 2k in chips, get ace ten on the button. relatively new player with chip lead on small blind, Wildman papertrail on bb with 2nd big stack. regardless, after everyone folds to me, I shove, and newplayer decides "fck it, I know i'm way behind (do we see a fckin trend here already, and it's only the second day?!?!?), but i'll call with my 65 b/c i'm a fukin donk and this is sbr."

His 2-1 dog and another 1800 chips to call didn't phase the new player, who insta calls with his shit hand. of course SBullshitR seizes this opportunity to run me, flopping the dumbass an up and down draw. turns an ace, putting me way ahead (80-20 favorite after turn), and of course SF'nBullshitF'nR rivers his straight to remove me from the trny in 7th or 8th place. F U S B R!

Come back tomorrow for yet another installment of what it's like to be doom switched by a p o s programmed poker site............

[brainfreeze]

Just another day at sbr donker..

[BigDaddy]

ah fukin hell yah........... DAY TWO: HEADLINE: "S BULLSHIT R COMES THRU AGAIN!!!"

I didn't feel like writing in The Chronicles this morning, so I figured I'd wait to take my daily ass reaming in the 2pm....... sbullshitr, as usual, didn't disappoint. f'n final table, down to 2k in chips, get ace ten on the button. relatively new player with chip lead on small blind, Wildman papertrail on bb with 2nd big stack. regardless, after everyone folds to me, I shove, and newplayer decides "fck it, I know i'm way behind (do we see a fckin trend here already, and it's only the second day?!?!?), but i'll call with my 65 b/c i'm a fukin donk and this is sbr."

His 2-1 dog and another 1800 chips to call didn't phase the new player, who insta calls with his shit hand. of course SBullshitR seizes this opportunity to run me, flopping the dumbass an up and down draw. turns an ace, putting me way ahead (80-20 favorite after turn), and of course SF'nBullshitF'nR rivers his straight to remove me from the trny in 7th or 8th place. F U S B R!

Come back tomorrow for yet another installment of what it's like to be doom switched by a p o s programmed poker site............

56

lol

guy sounds like a big donkey

tough beat

[BigDaddy]

His 2-1 dog

those the odds?

AT
vs
56s

[Auto Donk]

yes, you were roughly a 2-1 dog preflop, and an 80-20 dog after turn..... sbr doom switch loves doling out bad beats to hands that are a 4-1 favorite..... that's the joy of the doomswitch.... you don't merely lose coin flips, the doomswitchee (me in this case) is meant to suffer and anguish over sick bad beats such as losing with 4-1 favorites on the river handed out by the doomswitchor (SBullshitR in this case).

[BigDaddy]

maybe just post the hand history?

for some reason i didnt have hand history saved clicked

i do now

that way it can tell the whole story and see how bad it really was

im sure its just as bad as you described.

[BigDaddy]

BTW you were either a 57 or 58% fav

so we just boost you up right away to a 2-1 fav

sounds better with that extra 8%

lol

[Triple_D_Bet]

yes, you were roughly a 2-1 dog preflop, and an 80-20 dog after turn..... sbr doom switch loves doling out bad beats to hands that are a 4-1 favorite..... that's the joy of the doomswitch.... you don't merely lose coin flips, the doomswitchee (me in this case) is meant to suffer and anguish over sick bad beats such as losing with 4-1 favorites on the river handed out by the doomswitchor (SBullshitR in this case).

I've got nothing against entertainment if that's what you're going for here Donk, but he was a little better than 1.5:1 dog, not 2:1....about a 12% difference in your chance to lose the hand, which is about the difference between AA losing vs 56 and A6 losing vs 56.

[brainfreeze]

Is this not why your here, Are you not entertained!!

[BigDaddy]

lol

thanks for the 5 points donk

i did feel bad for you in poker tourney

so i gave you 43 i think in ring game

either just shoved or called with my K9

again i dont have hand history

but almost lucked out there vs your 88 but you flopped set

so thanks for the discount 5 points

i know you take this poker serious

looking forward to future suckouts against you

[Auto Donk]

Is this not why your here, Are you not entertained!!

[Auto Donk]

and for all of you who are obviously bad at odds/percentages in holdem, go to cardsplayer or any other site with an odds calculator, plug in a ten v. 56 and im sure u'll see it's roughly 2-1.........

and l.s.r.j., you should really know odds better..... a6 v 56 is at least 70-30.....

[Triple_D_Bet]

and for all of you who are obviously bad at odds/percentages in holdem, go to cardsplayer or any other site with an odds calculator, plug in a ten v. 56 and im sure u'll see it's roughly 2-1.........

and l.s.r.j., you should really know odds better..... a6 v 56 is at least 70-30.....

Depends on your definition of "roughly" i suppose....1.5:1 is "roughly" 2:1 I guess. A6 vs 56 is about 70/30; my point was that you rounded up your chance of winnings by the same margin between AA and A6 winning over 56. Just double-checked all that, it's correct

[smitch124]

You get a little artistic license when it's "The Doomswitch Chronicles." Nobody wants to read about a 58-42% loss.

[yisman]

small blind, all in ak suited (over 1200 chips), called by sbrman's a6 off. flop 6

knocked out early again in 11 PM

[Auto Donk]

ah yes, Yis, this is one of the most common aggravating beats handed out by SBullshitR. If this happens repeatedly in trnies over a two-three week period, and you managed to call into question the shady appearances and results of other sbr posters who admit they "have connections" and talk on the phone or otherwise communicate with sbr employees (via instant messaging, for example), then you can properly conclude you've been DOOM SWITCHED!!!!

Taking that beat only once or twice a week is standard for sbr, when you take it repeatedly, along with other insane 80-20 favorites losing or even worse 1-3 outer suckouts, and have somehow offended the brass, that's being doom switched!

[Chipup]

Donker you should thank the fact I'm your friend or I would of given you the bad beat for the day.

***** Hand history (v1.2) *****
Hand ID 4475900
$0 + $10 Texas Hold'em (No Limit) - 15:11:00 15/08/2014 ET
Table 'Table 56277', 10 seats max, Real money
Seat 9 is the button. Small Blind $15, Big Blind $30
Note: seat IDs range from 1 to 10
Seat 1 (playing) : clayfro, amount $1300, amount bet $0, penalty (None)
Seat 2 (playing) : chipup, amount $2130, amount bet $0, penalty (None)
Seat 3 (playing) : nebunul, amount $1425, amount bet $0, penalty (None)
Seat 4 (playing) : AutoDonk, amount $4190, amount bet $0, penalty (None)
Seat 5 (playing) : Basement, amount $40, amount bet $0, penalty (None)
Seat 6 (playing) : thetrinity, amount $1955, amount bet $0, penalty (None)
Seat 7 (playing) : secretstash, amount $1520, amount bet $0, penalty (None)
Seat 9 (playing) : Triple_D_Bet, amount $1445, amount bet $0, penalty (None)
Seat 10 (playing) : newguy, amount $995, amount bet $0, penalty (None)
newguy: Small Blind ($15)
clayfro: Big Blind ($30)
** Dealing Down Cards **
Dealt to chipup: [5c, Ac]
chipup: Call [btn] ($30)
nebunul: Fold
AutoDonk: Raise ($150)
Basement: Call ($40)
thetrinity: Fold
secretstash: Call ($150)
Triple_D_Bet: Fold
newguy: Fold
clayfro: Fold
chipup: Call [btn] ($120)
** Dealing Flop **
Community cards: [5s, Ks, 7s]
chipup: Check [btn] ($0)
AutoDonk: Bet ($180)
secretstash: Fold
chipup: Fold [btn] ($0)
AutoDonk: Show Cards ($0)
Basement: Show Cards ($0)
** Dealing Turn **
Community cards: [Qd]
** Dealing River **
Community cards: [5d]
** End Round **
** Evaluate **
AutoDonk: Show Cards ($0)
Basement: Show Cards ($0)
** Showdown **
Main pot $205, Rake $0
Side pot #1 $510, Rake $0
Summary AutoDonk: bet $330, won $715, net $385, HoleCards [Td, Ts], HiHand [two pairs, tens and fives] [Ts, Td, 5s, 5d, Ks], won $205 from main pot, won $510 from side pot #1
Summary Basement: bet $40, won $0, net $-40

[Triple_D_Bet]

Donker you should thank the fact I'm your friend or I would of given you the bad beat for the day.

***** Hand history (v1.2) *****
Hand ID 4475900
$0 + $10 Texas Hold'em (No Limit) - 15:11:00 15/08/2014 ET
Table 'Table 56277', 10 seats max, Real money
Seat 9 is the button. Small Blind $15, Big Blind $30
Note: seat IDs range from 1 to 10
Seat 1 (playing) : clayfro, amount $1300, amount bet $0, penalty (None)
Seat 2 (playing) : chipup, amount $2130, amount bet $0, penalty (None)
Seat 3 (playing) : nebunul, amount $1425, amount bet $0, penalty (None)
Seat 4 (playing) : AutoDonk, amount $4190, amount bet $0, penalty (None)
Seat 5 (playing) : Basement, amount $40, amount bet $0, penalty (None)
Seat 6 (playing) : thetrinity, amount $1955, amount bet $0, penalty (None)
Seat 7 (playing) : secretstash, amount $1520, amount bet $0, penalty (None)
Seat 9 (playing) : Triple_D_Bet, amount $1445, amount bet $0, penalty (None)
Seat 10 (playing) : newguy, amount $995, amount bet $0, penalty (None)
newguy: Small Blind ($15)
clayfro: Big Blind ($30)
** Dealing Down Cards **
Dealt to chipup: [5c, Ac]
chipup: Call [btn] ($30)
nebunul: Fold
AutoDonk: Raise ($150)
Basement: Call ($40)
thetrinity: Fold
secretstash: Call ($150)
Triple_D_Bet: Fold
newguy: Fold
clayfro: Fold
chipup: Call [btn] ($120)
** Dealing Flop **
Community cards: [5s, Ks, 7s]
chipup: Check [btn] ($0)
AutoDonk: Bet ($180)
secretstash: Fold
chipup: Fold [btn] ($0)
AutoDonk: Show Cards ($0)
Basement: Show Cards ($0)
** Dealing Turn **
Community cards: [Qd]
** Dealing River **
Community cards: [5d]
** End Round **
** Evaluate **
AutoDonk: Show Cards ($0)
Basement: Show Cards ($0)
** Showdown **
Main pot $205, Rake $0
Side pot #1 $510, Rake $0
Summary AutoDonk: bet $330, won $715, net $385, HoleCards [Td, Ts], HiHand [two pairs, tens and fives] [Ts, Td, 5s, 5d, Ks], won $205 from main pot, won $510 from side pot #1
Summary Basement: bet $40, won $0, net $-40

I'm sure donk, I and others would be more thankful if you had some plan to stop stiffing and pay back the 10k+ you owe chipnaz...pay your damn debts and then maybe someone will give a damn what you have to say

[Auto Donk]

doesn't matter who the fck gives me the bad beat for the day... any fck with any two cards can accomplish that when a player has been doom switched.....

[Auto Donk]

Day 3 of The Doom Switch Chronicles....

nothing extraordinarily out of whack today, just standard doom switch application. SBullshitR let me run off to the early chip lead when AA miraculously held up vs. two idiots who reraised/called me with donk azz hands..... but that would be the only/last hurrah, as then I don't think I won another hand....

worthy of note is that when I held ace big, the underpair held up; and when I had a decent pair (1010), ace big of course hit the ace, as it what happened when ak beat my 1010, leaving me with approx. 400.... Thereafter, with so few chips, had to shove with suited gappers, called by rags, who flop two pair to remove me from the trny on or near the bubble..... just typical SBullshitR doom switch programming.........

so, as always, F U S B R!!!! In case u didn't get that, just look at the smiling guy in my avatar........ Til Monday's fuk job, "good luck, SBR Posters!" (spoken in broken English with an Asian accent)

[bobbywaves]

two idiots who reraised/called me with donk azz hands.

So you consider KK & AQ "donk azz hands." When in reality, these hands are better than what you're playing with 96.4% of the time.

[Triple_D_Bet]

So you consider KK & AQ "donk azz hands." When in reality, these hands are better than what you're playing with 96.4% of the time.

We know you have no clue about even basic poker concepts bobbo, no need to constantly remind us

[bobbywaves]

We know you have no clue about even basic poker concepts bobbo, no need to constantly remind us

My grasp of poker concepts has me ahead in our challenge, while ranked 7th overall.

[Triple_D_Bet]

Gonna pull a bobbo here:

My grasp of participation and running good has me ahead in our challenge, while ranked 7th overall.

[bobbywaves]

I actually missed a day of participation while vacationing in KC, which happens to be one day more than Tripe has missed.

[Triple_D_Bet]

I actually missed a day of participation while vacationing in KC, which happens to be one day more than Tripe has missed.

Starting to think you're trying to win some kinda of "Say 100 stupid things in a year" contest

[daneblazer]

Day 3 of The Doom Switch Chronicles....

nothing extraordinarily out of whack today, just standard doom switch application. SBullshitR let me run off to the early chip lead when AA miraculously held up vs. two idiots who reraised/called me with donk azz hands..... but that would be the only/last hurrah, as then I don't think I won another hand....

worthy of note is that when I held ace big, the underpair held up; and when I had a decent pair (1010), ace big of course hit the ace, as it what happened when ak beat my 1010, leaving me with approx. 400.... Thereafter, with so few chips, had to shove with suited gappers, called by rags, who flop two pair to remove me from the trny on or near the bubble..... just typical SBullshitR doom switch programming.........

so, as always, F U S B R!!!! In case u didn't get that, just look at the smiling guy in my avatar........ Til Monday's fuk job, "good luck, SBR Posters!" (spoken in broken English with an Asian accent)

Goo Luck espy are posers

[bobbywaves]

Starting to think you're trying to win some kinda of "Say 100 stupid things in a year" contest

Can't compete with you there, as that's the only contest you've won to date...You had that all wrapped up by March, congrats!