1. 02-12-17 11:07 PM #1
    Seaweed
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    Notice How I Didnt Post This Weekend? Here Is Why

    This is embarassing

    So i was coming home taking the subway from the city and its about a 30 minute ride. I was on 3 hours of sleep and decided to rest my head back. Next thing i know I feel a jerk of my head off someones shoulder sitting beside me. I say sorry and get my head off his shoulder and put my head back again. This is where i black out. Next thing I know I am being pulled from my seat from this guy and shoved back. I am so confused and scared I just walk off the subway at that stop. Getting off I see I am 1 stop from my stop so i decide to walk it. As I am walking home I stop to use the bathroom in Subway. As I am in there i realize there is no toilet paper. I figure i can hold the wipe and just shower when i get home and wash my pants. So I do that and head home. As I approach my area who do i see? The guy on the subway! He looks at me and says "Im not your fuken pillow or your mama dont ever cross me again" I am so angry at this point so i yell "Go to your mom's pussy!" I then book it and go into Shoppers Drug Mart and the freak followed me in. I tell the asian this man is following me and the guy laughs and says im here to buy shampoo. He grabs nothing and walks out of store. At this point I don't know what to do or if the guy is waiting for me. I play it safe and pretend to shop in there for 2 hours from like 7:15-9:45pm. I then get approached by security and told that I need to buy something or leave. I tell them there is no time limit on how long I can shop. Back and forth things escalated and they end up calling the cops. At this point I leave and go home and basically missed out on posting all my bets last night which would haven went 5-0. But a lesson is never risk your safety even if you have to kill some time.
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  2. 02-12-17 11:20 PM #2
    unde0087
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    Did you get your ass wiped yet?
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  3. 02-12-17 11:32 PM #3
    5mike5
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    Fukkin disgusting

    feel awful for the people that had to smell u
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  4. 02-12-17 11:41 PM #4
    unde0087
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    Quote Originally Posted by 5mike5 View Post
    Fukkin disgusting

    feel awful for the people that had to smell u
    Its okay, he gave them a free pick on the way out
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  5. 02-12-17 11:57 PM #5
    vividjohn45
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    Did you clean up before or after you started this thread.? Thanks.
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  6. 02-13-17 01:05 AM #6
    tony_come
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    Itching butt is not good
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  7. 02-13-17 03:51 AM #7
    SEKTAUR
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    what a weirdo this guy is.
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  8. 02-13-17 04:01 AM #8
    The Giant
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    This story sounds legit.

    The 5-0 record will count on his official tab.

    It only seems fair.
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  9. 02-13-17 04:10 AM #9
    19th Hole
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    Too bad for the forum that you exited the train.
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  10. 02-13-17 06:31 AM #10
    Mackballs
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    penetrate you
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  11. 02-13-17 06:38 AM #11
    Auto Donk
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    that's what happens when you stay too late at the women's march, you f'n pussy.....

    I'm sure your costume didn't help matters:





    shitting in your pants and hiding in a store for 2 hours.......

    what a fukkin dope
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  12. 02-13-17 06:42 AM #12
    Auto Donk
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    Quote Originally Posted by unde0087 View Post
    Did you get your ass wiped yet?
    he should have invited the guy into the stall and, to lessen tensions, either blew the guy for a dollar, or, if he wanted to try and wage war, he could've used the gecko-shit-on-predator technique:

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  13. 02-13-17 06:47 AM #13
    Auto Donk
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    wait, let me write this down again.....

    what to say to a guy about to beat one's ass...... "G-o.... t-o..... y-o-u-r...... m-o-m-m-y's....... p-u-s-s-y!"


    got it.....


    in all seriousness, someone says something that retarded to me, I probably immediately start beating the shit out of them..... you're lucky the guy didn't kill you
    Last edited by Auto Donk; 02-13-17 at 06:53 AM.
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  14. 02-13-17 06:52 AM #14
    Auto Donk
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    p.s., I hope you stocked up on these during your two and half our "fake" shoppin' spree at the drug store, pussy.....

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  15. 02-13-17 06:55 AM #15
    mpaschal34
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    You sure you weren't 6-0?

    Your best day ever and we missed it....poor us.
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  16. 02-13-17 06:58 AM #16
    Auto Donk
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    pss.... now I'm hearing this other guy's side of the story.....

    when weeder said he "booked it" somewhere to get away, the guy said bullshit on that.....

    weeder never would have gotten away from him, but when the fukkn' guy grabbed weeder from behind, weeder's fukkin tail snapped off, and the guy was standing there holdin' the wigglin' fukkin' thing as Weeder rared up on two-feet and started shaggin' ass like a lizard runnin' on hot sand in the desert....

    guy took a photo of it before kickin' it into the sewer

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  17. 02-13-17 07:00 AM #17
    jjgold
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  18. 02-13-17 07:06 AM #18
    Chi_archie
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    Here's to another 5-0 night!

    awesome
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  19. 02-13-17 07:15 AM #19
    Auto Donk
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    imagine this thing shaggin' ass with NO tail......


    the speed and grace with which weeder ran to hide in that store should not be lost in the translation of the story from Repitilian to English.....

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  20. 02-13-17 07:48 AM #20
    Smoke
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    saer youre an asshole and geckos don't wipe
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  21. 02-13-17 09:44 AM #21
    rkelly110
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    Duh, 1st rule of thumb when shitting is looking if there is paper.

    If no paper, waddle your ass out of the stall and get paper towels.

    If they only have blowers, wipe your ass with your hand with water and blow dry your ass.
    Walking in and seeing that would be my, laugh my ass off story of the year!
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  22. 02-13-17 10:00 AM #22
    Auto Donk
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    try stickin ur dick in an air blade dryer in a public restroom.....

    pretty sure the airport security guy that announced to everyone he'd be touching my genitals, but only with the backs of his hands, got a glimpse of me drying off my schwantz in Charlotte's airports john, and all they had was a f'n airblade....

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  23. 02-13-17 10:06 AM #23
    DiggityDaggityDo
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    "Dont ever cross me again"

    Wow! You are lucky to be alive.
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  24. 02-13-17 10:32 AM #24
    zert
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    I think you take a couple more days if this is the story you can come up with.
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  25. 02-13-17 10:42 AM #25
    Buckandadime
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    What is your thought pattern that you would think that inventing/sharing a story like that would give you any merit on this forum? I don't understand but then again, guess I don't walk around with shit in my pants.. 5-0 today

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  26. 02-13-17 10:52 AM #26
    Philmill
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    no wiper weeder.......
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  27. 02-13-17 12:45 PM #27
    Harry N. Lloyd
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    Sounds like you require more than 3 hours sleep......
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  28. 02-13-17 04:11 PM #28
    Richkas
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    cell phone


    call cops
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  29. 02-13-17 04:16 PM #29
    Auto Donk
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    i recommend switching food source to this, as it generally promotes sound digestion and solid, clumping turds, so that you don't have a runny mess all over yourself while getting your ass kicked......




    and, assuming the photo on the bottle of this shit is accurate, it might increase your pathetic libido, as well......
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  30. 02-13-17 04:24 PM #30
    19th Hole
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    Titty-Warrior....Disgusting shit towel.

    Seashit...Disgusting no wipe

    Sick and Sicker
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