Notice How I Didnt Post This Weekend? Here Is Why

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  • Seaweed
    BARRELED IN @ SBR!
    • 01-19-12
    • 26314

    #1
    Notice How I Didnt Post This Weekend? Here Is Why
    This is embarassing

    So i was coming home taking the subway from the city and its about a 30 minute ride. I was on 3 hours of sleep and decided to rest my head back. Next thing i know I feel a jerk of my head off someones shoulder sitting beside me. I say sorry and get my head off his shoulder and put my head back again. This is where i black out. Next thing I know I am being pulled from my seat from this guy and shoved back. I am so confused and scared I just walk off the subway at that stop. Getting off I see I am 1 stop from my stop so i decide to walk it. As I am walking home I stop to use the bathroom in Subway. As I am in there i realize there is no toilet paper. I figure i can hold the wipe and just shower when i get home and wash my pants. So I do that and head home. As I approach my area who do i see? The guy on the subway! He looks at me and says "Im not your fuken pillow or your mama dont ever cross me again" I am so angry at this point so i yell "Go to your mom's pussy!" I then book it and go into Shoppers Drug Mart and the freak followed me in. I tell the asian this man is following me and the guy laughs and says im here to buy shampoo. He grabs nothing and walks out of store. At this point I don't know what to do or if the guy is waiting for me. I play it safe and pretend to shop in there for 2 hours from like 7:15-9:45pm. I then get approached by security and told that I need to buy something or leave. I tell them there is no time limit on how long I can shop. Back and forth things escalated and they end up calling the cops. At this point I leave and go home and basically missed out on posting all my bets last night which would haven went 5-0. But a lesson is never risk your safety even if you have to kill some time.
  • unde0087
    BARRELED IN @ SBR!
    • 03-27-08
    • 28900

    #2
    Did you get your ass wiped yet?
    Comment
    • 5mike5
      SBR Aristocracy
      • 09-21-11
      • 51967

      #3
      Fukkin disgusting

      feel awful for the people that had to smell u
      Comment
      • unde0087
        BARRELED IN @ SBR!
        • 03-27-08
        • 28900

        #4
        Originally posted by 5mike5
        Fukkin disgusting

        feel awful for the people that had to smell u
        Its okay, he gave them a free pick on the way out
        Comment
        • vividjohn45
          SBR Hall of Famer
          • 11-21-10
          • 6331

          #5
          Did you clean up before or after you started this thread.? Thanks.
          Comment
          • tony_come
            SBR Posting Legend
            • 03-31-10
            • 21695

            #6
            Itching butt is not good
            Comment
            • SEKTAUR
              SBR Wise Guy
              • 09-04-11
              • 802

              #7
              what a weirdo this guy is.
              Comment
              • The Giant
                SBR Posting Legend
                • 01-21-12
                • 21480

                #8
                This story sounds legit.

                The 5-0 record will count on his official tab.

                It only seems fair.
                Comment
                • 19th Hole
                  SBR Posting Legend
                  • 03-22-09
                  • 18925

                  #9
                  Too bad for the forum that you exited the train.
                  Comment
                  • Mackballs
                    SBR Hall of Famer
                    • 12-01-16
                    • 5810

                    #10
                    penetrate you
                    Comment
                    • Auto Donk
                      SBR Aristocracy
                      • 09-03-13
                      • 43558

                      #11
                      that's what happens when you stay too late at the women's march, you f'n pussy.....

                      I'm sure your costume didn't help matters:





                      shitting in your pants and hiding in a store for 2 hours.......

                      what a fukkin dope
                      Comment
                      • Auto Donk
                        SBR Aristocracy
                        • 09-03-13
                        • 43558

                        #12
                        Originally posted by unde0087
                        Did you get your ass wiped yet?
                        he should have invited the guy into the stall and, to lessen tensions, either blew the guy for a dollar, or, if he wanted to try and wage war, he could've used the gecko-shit-on-predator technique:

                        Comment
                        • Auto Donk
                          SBR Aristocracy
                          • 09-03-13
                          • 43558

                          #13
                          wait, let me write this down again.....

                          what to say to a guy about to beat one's ass...... "G-o.... t-o..... y-o-u-r...... m-o-m-m-y's....... p-u-s-s-y!"


                          got it.....


                          in all seriousness, someone says something that retarded to me, I probably immediately start beating the shit out of them..... you're lucky the guy didn't kill you
                          Last edited by Auto Donk; 02-13-17, 07:53 AM.
                          Comment
                          • Auto Donk
                            SBR Aristocracy
                            • 09-03-13
                            • 43558

                            #14
                            p.s., I hope you stocked up on these during your two and half our "fake" shoppin' spree at the drug store, pussy.....

                            Comment
                            • mpaschal34
                              SBR Posting Legend
                              • 02-04-13
                              • 12084

                              #15
                              You sure you weren't 6-0?

                              Your best day ever and we missed it....poor us.
                              Comment
                              • Auto Donk
                                SBR Aristocracy
                                • 09-03-13
                                • 43558

                                #16
                                pss.... now I'm hearing this other guy's side of the story.....

                                when weeder said he "booked it" somewhere to get away, the guy said bullshit on that.....

                                weeder never would have gotten away from him, but when the fukkn' guy grabbed weeder from behind, weeder's fukkin tail snapped off, and the guy was standing there holdin' the wigglin' fukkin' thing as Weeder rared up on two-feet and started shaggin' ass like a lizard runnin' on hot sand in the desert....

                                guy took a photo of it before kickin' it into the sewer

                                Comment
                                • jjgold
                                  SBR Aristocracy
                                  • 07-20-05
                                  • 388179

                                  #17
                                  Comment
                                  • Chi_archie
                                    SBR Aristocracy
                                    • 07-22-08
                                    • 63165

                                    #18
                                    Here's to another 5-0 night!

                                    awesome
                                    Comment
                                    • Auto Donk
                                      SBR Aristocracy
                                      • 09-03-13
                                      • 43558

                                      #19
                                      imagine this thing shaggin' ass with NO tail......


                                      the speed and grace with which weeder ran to hide in that store should not be lost in the translation of the story from Repitilian to English.....

                                      Comment
                                      • Smoke
                                        SBR Aristocracy
                                        • 10-09-09
                                        • 48111

                                        #20
                                        saer youre an asshole and geckos don't wipe
                                        Comment
                                        • rkelly110
                                          BARRELED IN @ SBR!
                                          • 10-05-09
                                          • 39691

                                          #21
                                          Duh, 1st rule of thumb when shitting is looking if there is paper.

                                          If no paper, waddle your ass out of the stall and get paper towels.

                                          If they only have blowers, wipe your ass with your hand with water and blow dry your ass.
                                          Walking in and seeing that would be my, laugh my ass off story of the year!
                                          Comment
                                          • Auto Donk
                                            SBR Aristocracy
                                            • 09-03-13
                                            • 43558

                                            #22
                                            try stickin ur dick in an air blade dryer in a public restroom.....

                                            pretty sure the airport security guy that announced to everyone he'd be touching my genitals, but only with the backs of his hands, got a glimpse of me drying off my schwantz in Charlotte's airports john, and all they had was a f'n airblade....

                                            Comment
                                            • DiggityDaggityDo
                                              SBR Aristocracy
                                              • 11-30-08
                                              • 81450

                                              #23
                                              "Dont ever cross me again"

                                              Wow! You are lucky to be alive.
                                              Comment
                                              • zert
                                                SBR MVP
                                                • 09-22-09
                                                • 1274

                                                #24
                                                I think you take a couple more days if this is the story you can come up with.
                                                Comment
                                                • Buckandadime
                                                  SBR Hall of Famer
                                                  • 04-21-15
                                                  • 8847

                                                  #25
                                                  What is your thought pattern that you would think that inventing/sharing a story like that would give you any merit on this forum? I don't understand but then again, guess I don't walk around with shit in my pants.. 5-0 today

                                                  Comment
                                                  • Philmill
                                                    SBR MVP
                                                    • 09-30-11
                                                    • 4275

                                                    #26
                                                    no wiper weeder.......
                                                    Comment
                                                    • Harry N. Lloyd
                                                      SBR MVP
                                                      • 03-26-08
                                                      • 4810

                                                      #27
                                                      Sounds like you require more than 3 hours sleep......
                                                      Comment
                                                      • Richkas
                                                        SBR Posting Legend
                                                        • 02-03-08
                                                        • 19396

                                                        #28
                                                        cell phone


                                                        call cops
                                                        Comment
                                                        • Auto Donk
                                                          SBR Aristocracy
                                                          • 09-03-13
                                                          • 43558

                                                          #29
                                                          i recommend switching food source to this, as it generally promotes sound digestion and solid, clumping turds, so that you don't have a runny mess all over yourself while getting your ass kicked......




                                                          and, assuming the photo on the bottle of this shit is accurate, it might increase your pathetic libido, as well......
                                                          Comment
                                                          • 19th Hole
                                                            SBR Posting Legend
                                                            • 03-22-09
                                                            • 18925

                                                            #30
                                                            Titty-Warrior....Disgusting shit towel.

                                                            Seashit...Disgusting no wipe

                                                            Sick and Sicker
                                                            Comment
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