This shit has to be wiped away...

[UntilTheNDofTimE]

Taylor in like 7 months when i reach 5,000 posts imma do a celebration thread ok?

[UntilTheNDofTimE]

Ever tried wiping youre ass with a shoe

you cant make this shit up

[GiveMeaBJ]

Well if we keep making threads about wiping our asses you will be there in a week.

[Joe Dogs]

This is some funny shit.

[tltaylor89]

you cant make this shit up

[Ash_cakes]

Sitting down. Unless i am hovering at a public bathroom.

[GiveMeaBJ]

My stomach is rumbling. Shit coming any minute.

[GiveMeaBJ]

Sitting down. Unless i am hovering at a public bathroom.

You don't count. Girls don't poop.

[whatsgood5]

What about the excess piss dripping?

I know even when I wipe sitting down, some excess piss often drips while I'm pulling up my pants, even after thoroughly drying the tip of my cok.

I'd think this would be much more of a problem for people wiping while standing up...Am I way off here?

[whatsgood5]

This is some funny shit.

PUN, nice!

[whatsgood5]

Sitting down. Unless i am hovering at a public bathroom.

That's disgusting. We didn't need to know about that.

[UntilTheNDofTimE]

What about the excess piss dripping?

I know even when I wipe sitting down, some excess piss often drips while I'm pulling up my pants, even after thoroughly drying the tip of my cok.

I'd think this would be much more of a problem for people wiping while standing up...Am I way off here?

[GiveMeaBJ]

What about the excess piss dripping?

I know even when I wipe sitting down, some excess piss often drips while I'm pulling up my pants, even after thoroughly drying the tip of my cok.

I'd think this would be much more of a problem for people wiping while standing up...Am I way off here?

This is a shocking post. This has never happened to me and I think I have roughly around 15,000+ shits in my career. Explain this to me. So you piss in the toilet, wipe your ass, stand up and piss drips?

[paco]

I bet the dudes that wipe sitting down, also piss sitting down.

[whatsgood5]

This is a shocking post. This has never happened to me and I think I have roughly around 15,000+ shits in my career. Explain this to me. So you piss in the toilet, wipe your ass, stand up and piss drips?

It's not a lot of piss or anything, but usually a drop or two, yes. Even after thoroughly drying the tip while still sitting on the toilet, the movement from standing up tends to make a drop or two fall somehow.

And at the 15,000+ career shits

[tltaylor89]

Taylor in like 7 months when i reach 5,000 posts imma do a celebration thread ok?

Haha I will be at 20k Posts then

[tltaylor89]

Buztah is masturbating to this thread he lives for this.

[whatsgood5]

I bet the dudes that wipe sitting down, also piss sitting down.

I can proudly say I have never done this. I can't speak for the others who wipe while sitting down though, so you may be right.

[GiveMeaBJ]

Here it boys. The shit is coming. Be back in 5. Going to piss and shit and wipe sitting down for the first time in my career.

[tltaylor89]

Here it boys. The shit is coming. Be back in 5. Going to piss and shit and wipe sitting down for the first time in my career.

Make sure you have paper

[RageWizard]

I prefer to stand up and wipe my ass with the towel your not supposed to use. Then I turn it inside out so you can't see that I did that.

[paco]

I love eating Green Now n Later candies b4 taking a shit. Looks like something the incredible Hulk would shit

[Doug]

For the record, I stand.

Here are instructions for sitters....

http://www.howtowipeyourbutt.com/

[Doug]

How To Wipe Your Butt

When it comes to universal human activities, nothing is more overlooked than post-defecation clean up. But does everyone perform this common behavior the same way? Of course not. So surely some techniques are more effective than others. Here you will find a simple method that will keep your anus fresh, clean, and happy every day.

Be sure you have completed your bowel movement prior to wiping commencement. This spares you unnecessary repetition of the procedure.

Choice of toilet paper is critical. Being eco-friendly and choosing post-consumer products is honorable, though it may be rough (literally) on your delicate areas.

Basic tissue is also a fine choice and may be best for those of us on a budget.

For the ultimate in bathroom wiping luxury, a soft tissue with aloe and vitamin e is the only choice.

How To Wipe Your Butt: Step 1.

Now you can begin wiping. It is important that you remain seated for the duration of the procedure, as this ensures proper area coverage and meticulous cleansing. Start out with a decent size wad of tissue; three balled-up squares should be plenty.
How To Wipe Your Butt: Figure 1-1

Three squares should be enough to start.

Reach around and behind your butt, and lean onto the opposing cheek.
How To Wipe Your Butt: Figure 1-2

It's crucial to remain seated.

Wipe with the pointer, middle, and ring fingers of your acting hand under the toilet paper. Have your middle finger slightly raised with your pointer and ring fingers resting partially behind.
How To Wipe Your Butt: Figure 1-3

Proper pressure and finger placement.

Use moderate pressure and wipe at a cautious speed from front to back. Continue with this step, using the same size wad of tissue, until the amount of remnants on the paper decreases by fifty percent.
How To Wipe Your Butt: Figure 1-4

Front to back, ladies!

How To Wipe Your Butt: Step 2.

When obvious progress has been made, the amount of tissue required should be reduced. Two crumpled squares should be enough at this stage.
How To Wipe Your Butt: Figure 2-1

Two squares is all you'll need now.

Follow the directions of Step 1 (with the reduced paper amount), using increasing pressure with each wipe. Continue until the amount of remnants on the tissue decreases to a small amount.
How To Wipe Your Butt: Figure 2-2

Be sure to check your progress.

How To Wipe Your Butt: Step 3.

The paper quantity should now be decreased to one folded square. This really is sufficient. Really.
How To Wipe Your Butt: Figure 3-1

All you'll need now is one square.

Again, repeat the wiping directions from Step 1, but now you should be using significant (though not excessive) pressure. As you pass over your anus, relax the sphincter muscles and slightly press the pad of your middle finger into the opening, continuing the progression from front to back. Repeat this step until there is very little to no remnants transferring onto the paper.
How To Wipe Your Butt: Figure 3-2

Don't be afraid to enter, just a little.

How To Wipe Your Butt: Step 4.

Now you are ready for the final cleansing stage. Using a wet wipe, repeat Step 3 until absolutely no remnants remain. You may use moist wipes designed for adult bathroom use or baby wipes.
How To Wipe Your Butt: Figure 4-1

Wet wipes: modern civilization at its finest.

This is an oft-ignored step to the wiping process, but one that should never be passed up. In this step, you are ensuring a fresh, thorough clean that is second only to a bath or shower, greatly reducing or eliminating any staining, odor, or itching that may occur later.

How To Wipe Your Butt: Step 5.

The toilet should now be flushed.
How To Wipe Your Butt: Figure 5-1

Don't forget!

Adjust your clothing as necessary.
How To Wipe Your Butt: Figure 5-2

Double check your fly.

Wash your hands with soap and water.
How To Wipe Your Butt: Figure 5-3

Scrub.

You may light a match and/or a candle for the consideration of subsequent bathroom users.

Congratulations! You have successfully wiped your butt and may proceed throughout your day with confidence.
Copyright ©2009 howtowipeyourbutt.com. For more info on poop related sites please visit The Poop Report.

[whatsgood5]

Here it boys. The shit is coming. Be back in 5. Going to piss and shit and wipe sitting down for the first time in my career.

Good luck man, make sure to report back with your results.

[whatsgood5]

I prefer to stand up and wipe my ass with the towel your not supposed to use. Then I turn it inside out so you can't see that I did that.

[tltaylor89]

I love eating Green Now n Later candies b4 taking a shit. Looks like something the incredible Hulk would shit

I eat Oreos to make it turn black

[whatsgood5]

I eat Oreos to make it turn black

I hate to break it to you, but this is not how things work.

[RageWizard]

Good instructional from Doug except in these hard economic times. I separate the individual plys and use both sides.

[tltaylor89]

I hate to break it to you, but this is not how things work.

How does it work then

[Doug]

Good instructional from Doug except in these hard economic times. I separate the individual plys and use both sides.

That's living life on the edge !

[JohnGalt2341]

how the fuk do u wipe ur ass sitting down? after i read one of these threads i tryed it, its not possible

Took the words right out of my mouth!!! I just don't get it.

[paco]

BJ, u sure are taking a long shit. Report back

[whatsgood5]

How does it work then

You should have learned this in school. Tax dollars failing again...

[paco]

Taylor , if ur shit is really really black, u may want to go to doctor and see if u have an ulcer