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lmao congrats Philly sounds like a good night the responses are epic thouComment -
TldrComment -
Well boys, since I decided to let you all in on some of the happenings of my personal life, I figure it's only fair to give you all an update.
Let me start by saying that I slept all yesterday and all last night.
I missed the mother fukkin NHL Winter Classic. Slept right through it. Son of a mother fukkin bitch.
Anyway, I wake up today and I had my phone off and on the charger all night.
I see the phone is fully charged and take it off the charger and turn it on.
WTF!
This crazy oyster sent me 36 text messages. I got half way through one and deleted every one of them.
As I'm getting done deleting the messages, she fukkin calls me.
Her: "Hey baby!"
Me: "How the fukk did you get my number? I don't ever remember giving it to you."
Her: "Oh I went into your phone before we got in the shower together."
Me: "YOU WHAT!?"
Her: "Yeah, what's the big deal? Is it so bad that I have your phone number?"
Me: "It is when you have to steal it then blow up my phone with non-stop texts. 36 fukkin texts? Really? Are you some kind of fukkin psycho?"
Her: "I didn't see a problem. I don't want you to be mad at me. Anyway, where were you? I tried to get you all day."
Me: "I told you that you wore me out. I slept all day and night."
Her: "Please.....just listen........I need to talk to you. Can we meet for dinner?"
Me: "I don't want to have dinner. I already told you we can't be together."
Her: "We can't even talk!?"
Boys, at this point, she became a fukkin demon.
She starts screaming all kinds of obscenities at me telling me I used her and kinds of other shit.
Then she breaks down and starts crying. I mean uncontrollably crying.
She then begs me to have dinner with her tonight. She won't stop saying please.
Like "PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let's just talk. it'll be good, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE"
It's fukkin scary to be honest.
Anyway, after like the next 5 or so minutes trying to calm her down, I give in to her and tell her we can meet for dinner.
Boys, I don't like where this is going. I didn't want to see her again. I had absolutely no intentions of ever seeing her again and yet, here we are with me taking her to dinner tonight.
Just gonna see how it goes and be totally up front and honest.
Anyway boys, I'll be back later.
Peace.Comment -
You stud muffin, you! GL. My brother has a history of hooking up with crazies. If you don't mind the drama, they make good wives and or girl friends. If she's the same sign as you or an Aries, run as fast as you can!Comment -
If it was true he'd of mentioned how hairy her back was. They all have hairy backsComment -
again, com-PLETE BS, but whoever is writing this story has significant writing talentComment -
what a load of shit.Comment -
Again. What club? There's one club I've been to in philly that has a pretty big indian clientele. Weird he doesn't mentionComment -
I hope Flyer is alright after that dinner....
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saw phillypride was stealing his spotlight....lol
way to "up your game" phillyphag....lmao
*time phillypride gets the limelight back on him were it sofa king belongs.... right, phillyphaag(#2) LMAO!Comment -
only no name internet degenerates try to pass off a getting laid story like its their own
http://forum.sbrforum.com/saloon/237...ubby-hers.html
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WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED NEXT
Well boys, since I outed myself, I figure it's only fair to give you all an update.
Let me start by saying this man sent me 36 text messages.
So I lit a scented candle, opened a Yoplait and read each and every one of them.
Then he fukkin calls me!
Him: "Hey Gilbert!"
Me: "How the fukk did you get my number? Are you a wizard?"
Him: "Oh I went into your phone before we showered."
Me: "YOU WHAT!?"
Him: "I knew I'd have to apologize for giving you AIDS."
Time to play some offense.
"Ha. I already have AIDS pal. Got it from someone better than you, you'll never measure up."
Silence. Clearly I hurt his feelings.
Me: "But 36 fukkin texts? Really?"
Him: "Gilbert, I have something to confess…we've met before."
Me: "Whoa. What?"
Him: "Yes. Two summers ago. The Jersey shore. I admired your potato."
Boys, now it was my turn to fall silent. As if my rooster wasn't enough, now he was blowing my mind.
The summer of 2011 was going to be the best ever - someone told me the way to impress the fellas on the beach was to drop a potato in my speedo.
But no one told me I had to drop it in the front!
No one would play volleyball with me - I was the guy walking around Seaside Heights in Flyers cutoff Ts and with what looked like a giant dump in my speedo.
Boys, I'm not kidding - I was ready to jab a hand down there and show everyone it was just a potato and not a giant smash.
Then one day when someone whispered in my ear "is that the pride of Idaho in your bikini bottom or are you just really, really happy to see me?"
And thus began the love affair to end all love affairs.
And then one day he was gone. No phone call, no nothing. He went on with his life and left me holding the potato.
Me: "How fukkin dare you pal?
Him: "I just wanted to reconnect."
Me: "You wore me out. I slept all day and night. It's twice now you made me swear I'd never love again. Show some mercy pal."
Him: "It's that mouth of yours, Gilbert. I've never had anything like it, I don't think I can go on without it."
Boys, at this point, I became a fukkin demon. I start screaming all kinds of obscenities at him then I break down and start crying. I mean uncontrollably crying.
It's fukkin scary to be honest.
Boys, I don't like where this is going. I didn't want to see him again. He's the only man I ever loved, he's broken my heart twice, and yet, here we are going to happy hour at the Blue Caboose tonight.
Just gonna see how it goes and be totally up front and honest.
Anyway boys, I'll be back later. Hopefully we'll be engaged.
Peace.Comment -
FYI for the eternal doubters and retarded smart asses here..
Every word is true.
You guys might find this hard to believe but...
some of us aren't broke dikk fukks living in their mother's basement like 95% of this site is.
some of us do go out and live life.Comment -
If there's a true story in this thread it's the one byeshea postedComment -
alright tough guy
if this sh*t is true, lets get some more fukin deets pal
was she like a fukin 6? 7.5? 4.5? be honest u fukk
big fukin bombs?? Bs? Cs? Ds? I'm assuming B or C since anything else wouldve made it into Chapter 1 of the story
also what do you mean the twatt was different? explain further pleaseComment -
100% positive this story didn't happen but:
*how about you text her back a link to your posts here at SBR....im positive she'll never, ever bother you again.....EVER!
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not bad, PhillyFlyers....
.....did I ever tell you how I became a Redskins fan?!.....
The year was 1984. I was 13 years old and my mom and dad were out visiting my Grandma at the Hospital, where she was getting a new liver. They left me with Maria Eppiglottis, the HOTTEST girl on the block. She was 17, and had the biggest titties I'd ever seen...She was wearing a Washington Redskins t-shirt and her nipples were piercing the "R" and the "S"!..She was Greek, and she smelled like garlic and Avon perfume...She fixed a bunch of spaghetti for dinner, and after we ate, she decided to see what was in the liquor cabinet.."Hey Manster, lets try this new drink I heard about-'Long Island Ice Tea!" she said...I watched in amazement as she poured one after another....We drank 4 pitchers!!!
I felt all warm and fuzzy inside, and pretty soon, I had the straight wiener!...It throbbed like crazy!...I was getting horny and aroused!...My eyes saw double, and when I went to the kitchen to check up on Maria, she wasn't there!!.. She was on the couch, and she patted the cushion beside her beckoning for me to join her. I sat next to her and she started kissing me...Her little moustache tickled my face and she tasted like liquor and garlic!!!!...Soon, she had my pants down to my ankles.."Oh my God"! she gasped!!! "you're HUGE!"..My wiener was purple and felt like it was going to explode!!!
She put her hot, warm mouth on it, and I tore the arm off the couch!!!...She took her jeans off, and her redskins shirt off and laid on her back!..she then took her panties off and revealed her hairy pubic mound!!!..it had a strong, pungent odor, but for some reason or another it turned me on and I began to salivate like Pavlov's dog!..I buried my face in her hairy twat and lapped away like a crazed maniac!...she was screaming and moaning from the sheer pleasure that I was giving her!!.."Stick it in me, baby!!" she said! I did as I was told, and before I knew it, we were stuck together just like our German Shepherds were that time before Queenie had her puppies!...I was savoring the moment and euphoria of getting my first piece at my tender age!!
The next thing I knew, my toes curled up, I got a leg cramp, and my rooster started sneezing!!...My penis felt like a garden hose that someone forgot to shut off!!..the sensation felt like the 4th of July and rock concert x 1000!!..I fell asleep soon afterwards, and when I woke up, Maria was gone, and I was back in bed, fully nude and ever so satisified!!...I would never forget that eventful night from the hot greek girl who just happened to be a Washington Redskin fan!!!Comment -
It is a bit strange, the sex was very good apparently, according to your version. Yet you don't want to meet her for round 2?
Even if you didn't want to get too close, no guy is going to pass up going a few more rounds if the sex was as good as you say it is.
Why don't you go back for another session?Comment -
Great story if it's true.... a hell of a lot better than my New Years Eve that's for sure!Comment -
You mean some of us are not like you? You described yourself
Broke dick loser living with his mother trolling a gambling forum without 100 bucks to his name
Congrats on being all of that
Instead of living life you write make believe stories about the stuff you wish you were doingComment -
For what it's worth, I enjoyed the story, although, like others, I have serious doubts to its legitimacy. Even so, I have never felt the urge to run to the internet to let other people know about my sexual exploits, or rather, my lack thereof.
Fair play to the OP, he is a decent story-teller. I don't really care if it is real or not. If it is, I trust the OP wore protection. Hopefully, like all men who engage in regular casual sex, the OP takes proper precautions including periodic testing.
Stay safe.Comment -
I believe Flyer bigtime.
4 months ago I had to call the Henderson police to stop a chick from sending me non-stop messages also. 23 phone calls before lunchtime, all kinds of text messages, even one while the police officer was standing there.
Police call her up and tell her to stop, and if she does it again, they are filing a warrant for her arrest. She sends another text right after the officer hangs up, and he shakes his head. I changed my phone number and moved residences. This is the 2nd time in my life I had to cal police on a chick - the first one was fukkin stalking me everywhere.
DO NOT GO AND MEET THIS CHICK. She might do something fukkin crazy at dinner. Call the police.
One more thing: if you're gonna bone a chick that hard, you might consider doing it on a "professional" level - that way, no strings attached and everyone knows the deal. This personal sheeyat gets ugly.Comment -
Do you guys want an update?Comment -
*phillyfaag(#1) attempting to dangle a carrot in hopes someone...anyone will care.....lol.
no, just get with the other waste from philly and gtf OUT!
'cept for the nhl picks.....fade for cash is UP $.....you aren't. simple fact/math. argue that.....lolComment -
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