Disclaimer: This is a blatant ripoff of ttwarriors thread.
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A JOKE COURTESY OF SACRELICIOUS:
Two men are sitting in a pub having a drink.
The first man, looking slightly apprehensive, says to the second man "John, I have something I've been meaning to tell you. I dont know quite how to say it, but the other night while you were away on your business trip, I saw alot of strange men coming and going from your house while your wife was at home."
The man replies "I know. She has become a prostitute to subsidize her drug habit and it is slowly ruining our marriage."
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Could quite possibly be the worst joke I have ever heard anyone make up on the spot.
How about a super hero joke:
Superman is flying around town bored out of his mind. He flew over the movie theater & there was nothing playing that he wanted to see. He flew over the bars and nightclubs & it was dead. So, he decided he was just gonna call it a night & fly home, when suddenly he sees Wonder Woman laying on the beach completely naked with her legs in the air, spread wide open. So, he thinks to himself
"Well, I'm Superman, can swoop down there, super phuck her and fly away and she'll never know what hit her."
So, he flies down gives it to her in super fast time, like 7-8 seconds & flys away.
Wonderwoman says "What the phuck was that?"
And the Invisible man replies "I don't know but, my ass hole is killing me."Comment -
Your joke isnt funny.Comment -
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And you guys get all defensive when people tell you how unpopular you are?
Donks!Comment -
that joke was as bad as your poker play lol...just kiddingComment -
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DO I smell a heads up challenge?
LOLComment -
A JOKE COURTESY OF SACRELICIOUS FOR FEB 1 2013:
What happens when you cross a Siberian Tiger with an endangered species of Condor?
The gene splicing fails, and you end up having wasted a great deal of time and effort. Your neighbor, however, notices your experiment and reports you to the authorities. You are charged with animal neglect, animal cruelty, and posession of two endangered species. You are fined 100,000$ and go to jail for 5 years during which you are sodomized.
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I will contribute to this joke thread as well!.....
THE BOSS...Human anatomy style!
The Brain explained that since he controlled all parts of the body, that he should be the boss!
The Legs countered that since they took the man whereever he wanted to go, they should be the boss!
The Stomach said that since he digested all the food, a necessary process, that he should be the boss!
The Eyes said that without them, man would be helpless and blind, so they should be the boss!
Then the A$$hole applied for the job!...the other body parts laughed so hard that the A$$hole became very angry and closed up!
Well after a few days, the Brain went foggy, the Legs got wobbly, the Stomach got ill, the Eyes got crossed and unable to see...They all finally gave up and made the A$$hole the boss!!!...So, what's the moral of the story?!!
It proves that you don't have to be the brain to be a boss....Just an A$$hole!Comment -
A JOKE COURTESY OF SACRELICIOUS FOR FEB 2 2013:
Did you hear about the guy who ate nothing but sponges?
He recently died of malnutrition, leaving behind a despondent widow and two very young children.
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High how are u?Comment -
Not at all, dont smoke weed.Comment -
He's just created a thread to test out his failed stand up routine!Comment -
Hey Sacrilicious,
Did you hear about the guy with five penises?!....He said his pants fit like a glove!
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Heeyyyy-ooo.
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A Jewish guy, a Catholic guy, and a Mormon guy are sitting in a bar bragging about their virility.
The Jewish guy says "I have 4 sons, one more, and I'll have a basketball team."
The Catholic guy chimes in and says "Oh yea, that's nothing, I have 10 sons. One more for me and I'll have a football team!"
The Mormon guy laughs and goes "Big deal. I have 17 wives. One more and I've got myself a golf course."Comment -
A JOKE COURTESY OF SACRELICIOUS FOR FEB 3 2012:
Whats not funny about 4 black people driving off a cliff?
They were my friends!!!
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Another sacrelicious special!....
What's long, hard, and full of "semen"?
A submarine!
Why do most Greek men have moustaches?
They want to take after their mom's!
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A JOKE COURTESY OF SACRELICIOUS FOR FEB 4 2013:
What do you get when you cross a duck with a pig?
A media circus that focuses on the morals and ethics of genetic engineering.
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There is a 3 story apartment building with 1 apartment on each floor. A white family lives on the top floor. A mexican family lives on the second floor. A black family lives on the botom floor. At 2:00 PM in the afternoon a terrrible tornado hits the building, totally destroying it. Which family lived?
The White family, because both parents were at work and the kids were in school!
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I don't think you know the definition of the word joke.A JOKE COURTESY OF SACRELICIOUS:
Two men are sitting in a pub having a drink.
The first man, looking slightly apprehensive, says to the second man "John, I have something I've been meaning to tell you. I dont know quite how to say it, but the other night while you were away on your business trip, I saw alot of strange men coming and going from your house while your wife was at home."
The man replies "I know. She has become a prostitute to subsidize her drug habit and it is slowly ruining our marriage."
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ok that was pretty goodThere is a 3 story apartment building with 1 apartment on each floor. A white family lives on the top floor. A mexican family lives on the second floor. A black family lives on the botom floor. At 2:00 PM in the afternoon a terrrible tornado hits the building, totally destroying it. Which family lived?
The White family, because both parents were at work and the kids were in school!
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You better believe Mayan will be here soon and he won't be too happyThere is a 3 story apartment building with 1 apartment on each floor. A white family lives on the top floor. A mexican family lives on the second floor. A black family lives on the botom floor. At 2:00 PM in the afternoon a terrrible tornado hits the building, totally destroying it. Which family lived?
The White family, because both parents were at work and the kids were in school!
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A Jew, a porn star, and a Rastafarian walk into a bar.
Their alcoholism is slowly destroying their family lives.Walter forgot... when you're desperate's when you got no choice.Comment -
A JOKE COURTESY OF SACRELICIOUS FOR FEB 5 2013:
Why did little Justin fall off of his tricycle?
A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him.
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A black man and a white man are having an open dialogue on race relations...the conversation gets pretty heated and then the black man says:
"When I am born, I am black"
"When I grow up, I am black"
"When I am sick, I am black"
"When I am in the sun, I am black"
"When I am cold, I am black"
"When I die, I am black"
you on the other hand....
"When you are born, you are pink"
"When you grow up, you are white"
"When you are sick, you turn green"
"When you go out in the sun, you get red"
"When you are cold, you turn blue"
"When you die, you get purple"
" AND YOU HAVE THE F*CKIN' NERVE TO CALL ME COLORED!"Comment -
Oh my, I have not kept up with my thread this week. Time to get back to action.
A JOKE COURTESY OF SACRELICIOUS FOR FEB 9 2012:
A duck walks into a 7-11, he walks up to the counter and says to the attendent "Hey, give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!"
However, the cash attendent does not speak english and can not understand what the duck is saying. He does, however, suspect that he is hallucinating. He begins to question whether or not this is some punishment from god because we all know ducks can not talk.
Suspecting this hallucination is punishment for some horrid past misdeed, he breaks into tears and falls to his knees reciting prayers.
The duck, slightly miffed by the entire situation, walks out of the store and ponders to himself "Wait, why would I need chapstick anyway? I dont even have lips."
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funny
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