When bank tellers ask you questions....

Collapse
X
 
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
  • robzilla
    SBR MVP
    • 10-25-07
    • 3556

    #1
    When bank tellers ask you questions....
    what do you say to the bank teller when they ask you about the cheque and where you got it from?

    I just got back from the bank, and the teller was actin' like a freakin detective or something.
  • BigBollocks
    SBR MVP
    • 06-11-06
    • 2045

    #2
    I'm surprised you even gamble rob. I figured you came on here just to stir up shit to be honest, seeing as how in your first 20 posts you made fun of male pattern baldness, called my mom a porn actress, and said the word "******" twice...

    As far as your question, don't give 'em anymore than you have to. They're instructed in training to ask these questions to detect money laundering and such, and are usually just going through the motions. I generally just give one word answers, and when they can tell I'm not playing around and am in a hurry they tend to move on...
    Comment
    • chriscapper
      SBR High Roller
      • 10-12-07
      • 113

      #3
      BigBollocks you are such a huge help to this forum. I never recieved a check from a sportsbook. Could you give me an example of what type of ???'s they ask??

      Thanks alot
      Comment
      • curious
        Restricted User
        • 07-20-07
        • 9093

        #4
        Originally posted by BigBollocks
        I'm surprised you even gamble rob. I figured you came on here just to stir up shit to be honest, seeing as how in your first 20 posts you made fun of male pattern baldness, called my mom a porn actress, and said the word "******" twice...

        As far as your question, don't give 'em anymore than you have to. They're instructed in training to ask these questions to detect money laundering and such, and are usually just going through the motions. I generally just give one word answers, and when they can tell I'm not playing around and am in a hurry they tend to move on...

        I thought that you were proud of the fact that your mom is a porn actress, or was that your wife? I forget. LOL

        When I lived in NY City, my black girlfriends used to always say I was their "******" and Im a white dude. LOL
        Comment
        • curious
          Restricted User
          • 07-20-07
          • 9093

          #5
          Originally posted by robzilla
          what do you say to the bank teller when they ask you about the cheque and where you got it from?

          I just got back from the bank, and the teller was actin' like a freakin detective or something.

          What? I flirt with all the tellers at my bank. They usually only ask what time I am picking them up later. What kind of checks are these and what questions do they ask you?
          Comment
          • robzilla
            SBR MVP
            • 10-25-07
            • 3556

            #6
            Originally posted by curious

            What? I flirt with all the tellers at my bank. They usually only ask what time I am picking them up later. What kind of checks are these and what questions do they ask you?
            It was 1,000 $1.50 cheques from my endorsement deal with nike. every time a commercial comes on i get $1.50.

            What kinda cheques do u think i'm talkin bout? Its the kind that JJ never sees after he gives his cash to the book. lol.
            Comment
            • robzilla
              SBR MVP
              • 10-25-07
              • 3556

              #7
              PS...i only said ***** once. and that is different than ******.
              Comment
              • michael777
                SBR MVP
                • 09-20-05
                • 1936

                #8
                i always deposit my checks at the atm machine at my banks after getting grilled by a fat women bank teller a few months back
                Comment
                • BigBollocks
                  SBR MVP
                  • 06-11-06
                  • 2045

                  #9
                  Originally posted by chriscapper
                  BigBollocks you are such a huge help to this forum. I never recieved a check from a sportsbook. Could you give me an example of what type of ???'s they ask??

                  Thanks alot
                  Thanks Chris. As far as questions, they'll just ask you stuff like how do you know this person, why are you sending this amount, what is the money for, etc. They used to train the cashiers at several casinos I worked for to ask the exact same type questions, and would have supervisors watch over to make sure they were asking them.

                  It's all government enforcement issues that don't accomplish a damn thing, but make those on the enforcement side feel like they are doing something. I could hang out here until Sunday telling you countless many ways to launder money if you so needed to. Trust me these tellers aren't rocket scientists, they're just going through the motions...
                  Comment
                  • BigBollocks
                    SBR MVP
                    • 06-11-06
                    • 2045

                    #10
                    Originally posted by robzilla
                    PS...i only said ***** once. and that is different than ******.
                    I actually thought the JJ thread was pretty damn funny, and was surprised at how some took offense to it. Us baldies are a community as Larry David would say, and we have to stick together and have a sense of humor. GL this weekend Rob...
                    Comment
                    • BigBollocks
                      SBR MVP
                      • 06-11-06
                      • 2045

                      #11
                      If you get a couple of seconds I'd appreciate knowing the difference between "*****" and "******" for future reference. It'd probably be a thread best started in the private section though...
                      Comment
                      • curious
                        Restricted User
                        • 07-20-07
                        • 9093

                        #12
                        Originally posted by BigBollocks
                        If you get a couple of seconds I'd appreciate knowing the difference between "*****" and "******" for future reference. It'd probably be a thread best started in the private section though...

                        Well, date a black girl and she will call you her "*****". It is a term of affection. At least that is my experience.
                        Comment
                        • curious
                          Restricted User
                          • 07-20-07
                          • 9093

                          #13
                          Originally posted by robzilla
                          It was 1,000 $1.50 cheques from my endorsement deal with nike. every time a commercial comes on i get $1.50.

                          What kinda cheques do u think i'm talkin bout? Its the kind that JJ never sees after he gives his cash to the book. lol.
                          Well, I really don't know which is why I asked. I've never received a check from one of [you know who]. Don't they use an innocuous company name like "Internet Providers of Entertainment While Browsing" or something. I know stupid stuff like that shows up on the credit/debit card instead of "Illegal Gambling Emporium".
                          Comment
                          • chriscapper
                            SBR High Roller
                            • 10-12-07
                            • 113

                            #14
                            Originally posted by BigBollocks
                            Thanks Chris. As far as questions, they'll just ask you stuff like how do you know this person, why are you sending this amount, what is the money for, etc. They used to train the cashiers at several casinos I worked for to ask the exact same type questions, and would have supervisors watch over to make sure they were asking them.

                            It's all government enforcement issues that don't accomplish a damn thing, but make those on the enforcement side feel like they are doing something. I could hang out here until Sunday telling you countless many ways to launder money if you so needed to. Trust me these tellers aren't rocket scientists, they're just going through the motions...
                            So what do you say when they ask u how do u know the person....Cant' say they're my bookmaker. I asking these "stupid" questions cause i have a militarty type bank. Thanks.
                            Comment
                            • curious
                              Restricted User
                              • 07-20-07
                              • 9093

                              #15
                              Originally posted by chriscapper
                              So what do you say when they ask u how do u know the person....Cant' say they're my bookmaker. I asking these "stupid" questions cause i have a militarty type bank. Thanks.
                              Money Gram asked me that once, the payee was a woman's name, and I said "she is my dominatrix and I am her sex slave and she is sending me money so I can buy sex toys for when she visits me"
                              Comment
                              • mshanedub420
                                SBR High Roller
                                • 09-20-07
                                • 207

                                #16
                                Originally posted by BigBollocks
                                I'm surprised you even gamble rob. I figured you came on here just to stir up shit to be honest, seeing as how in your first 20 posts you made fun of male pattern baldness, called my mom a porn actress, and said the word "******" twice...

                                As far as your question, don't give 'em anymore than you have to. They're instructed in training to ask these questions to detect money laundering and such, and are usually just going through the motions. I generally just give one word answers, and when they can tell I'm not playing around and am in a hurry they tend to move on...
                                FUNNY SHIT.............JUST DEPOSIT THROUGH THE ATM, you never have to see a PERSON
                                Comment
                                • mshanedub420
                                  SBR High Roller
                                  • 09-20-07
                                  • 207

                                  #17
                                  Originally posted by curious
                                  Money Gram asked me that once, the payee was a woman's name, and I said "she is my dominatrix and I am her sex slave and she is sending me money so I can buy sex toys for when she visits me"
                                  even more FUNNY SHIT.......i've used the angry approach when I was redepositing before.....(to a customer that looked at my western union)(its for a funeral....why dont you mind you own ****ing business!!)
                                  Comment
                                  • robzilla
                                    SBR MVP
                                    • 10-25-07
                                    • 3556

                                    #18
                                    anyways, so yeah....****** is a term that the KKK uses for black people. ***** is like buddy to white people. white people "hey buddy!" Black people "what's up my *****!"
                                    Comment
                                    • MrX
                                      SBR MVP
                                      • 01-10-06
                                      • 1540

                                      #19
                                      The ATM is your friend.

                                      If you insist on using a teller, you tell them anything you want other than "it's a payment from an offshore sportsbook" or "it's my paycheck from Al-Qaeda." Use your imagination.
                                      Comment
                                      • robzilla
                                        SBR MVP
                                        • 10-25-07
                                        • 3556

                                        #20
                                        Originally posted by curious

                                        Well, date a black girl and she will call you her "*****". It is a term of affection. At least that is my experience.
                                        Date an asian and she'll say, "Me so horny, me love you long time."
                                        Comment
                                        • robzilla
                                          SBR MVP
                                          • 10-25-07
                                          • 3556

                                          #21
                                          Originally posted by MrX
                                          The ATM is your friend.

                                          If you insist on using a teller, you tell them anything you want other than "it's a payment from an offshore sportsbook" or "it's my paycheck from Al-Qaeda." Use your imagination.
                                          How bout I got this for letting scientist stick me with needles that have AIDS... sorry for the blood on the cheque... Here you go.
                                          Comment
                                          • curious
                                            Restricted User
                                            • 07-20-07
                                            • 9093

                                            #22
                                            Originally posted by robzilla
                                            Date an asian and she'll say, "Me so horny, me love you long time."
                                            Date a white girl and she will say "I hate to bring this up now, but we should take care of me first, okay sailor"
                                            Comment
                                            • betplom
                                              SBR Posting Legend
                                              • 09-20-06
                                              • 13444

                                              #23
                                              Originally posted by robzilla
                                              what do you say to the bank teller when they ask you about the cheque and where you got it from?

                                              I just got back from the bank, and the teller was actin' like a freakin detective or something.

                                              Tell them to (in order):

                                              A) Shut the fukk up.
                                              B) Cash/deposit the check.
                                              C) Have a nice day.
                                              Comment
                                              • LVHerbie
                                                SBR Hall of Famer
                                                • 09-15-05
                                                • 6344

                                                #24
                                                Originally posted by MrX
                                                The ATM is your friend.

                                                If you insist on using a teller, you tell them anything you want other than "it's a payment from an offshore sportsbook" or "it's my paycheck from Al-Qaeda." Use your imagination.
                                                Yes, they are obviously looking for fake checks and a generic looking check for a large amount looks suspious.... There is no reason to be even close to honest as it is none of their business to began with and you aren't breaking any laws cashing a check... tell them you did consulting work for a brother's small construction company or ran a booth at a state fair that sold sponge mops...

                                                Besides using ATMs you can also make deposits through the mail at most banks...
                                                Comment
                                                • Scratch
                                                  SBR Sharp
                                                  • 08-19-07
                                                  • 366

                                                  #25
                                                  just tell them the check is a return on an investment. they don't need to know any more than that.
                                                  Comment
                                                  • sharktank1
                                                    SBR Wise Guy
                                                    • 09-17-07
                                                    • 970

                                                    #26
                                                    Here's one for ya.

                                                    Hollywoodsports finally sent me a withhdrawl check in August (after requesting it back in May).
                                                    It was from a bank in Beruit, Lebanon.
                                                    Naturally my bank refused to cash it.
                                                    Guess who was waiting for me out in the parking lot?

                                                    Comment
                                                    • 20Four7
                                                      SBR Hall of Famer
                                                      • 04-08-07
                                                      • 6703

                                                      #27
                                                      Originally posted by sharktank1
                                                      Here's one for ya.

                                                      Hollywoodsports finally sent me a withhdrawl check in August (after requesting it back in May).
                                                      It was from a bank in Beruit, Lebanon.
                                                      Naturally my bank refused to cash it.
                                                      Guess who was waiting for me out in the parking lot?

                                                      I'm guessing it wasn't bin laden waiting to drive you home.
                                                      Comment
                                                      • robzilla
                                                        SBR MVP
                                                        • 10-25-07
                                                        • 3556

                                                        #28
                                                        Originally posted by sharktank1
                                                        Here's one for ya.

                                                        Hollywoodsports finally sent me a withhdrawl check in August (after requesting it back in May).
                                                        It was from a bank in Beruit, Lebanon.
                                                        Naturally my bank refused to cash it.
                                                        Guess who was waiting for me out in the parking lot?

                                                        Did u have to lift and spread em?
                                                        Comment
                                                        • cartay
                                                          SBR High Roller
                                                          • 08-29-07
                                                          • 151

                                                          #29
                                                          Originally posted by curious
                                                          Money Gram asked me that once, the payee was a woman's name, and I said "she is my dominatrix and I am her sex slave and she is sending me money so I can buy sex toys for when she visits me"
                                                          Excellent

                                                          Now I'll be prepared next time
                                                          Comment
                                                          • the2ofspades
                                                            SBR Rookie
                                                            • 10-29-07
                                                            • 42

                                                            #30
                                                            i'm just glad i don't those problems, canada rocks
                                                            Comment
                                                            • curious
                                                              Restricted User
                                                              • 07-20-07
                                                              • 9093

                                                              #31
                                                              Originally posted by Cheryl
                                                              Too Funny!
                                                              But it is true.
                                                              Comment
                                                              • robzilla
                                                                SBR MVP
                                                                • 10-25-07
                                                                • 3556

                                                                #32
                                                                Originally posted by the2ofspades
                                                                i'm just glad i don't those problems, canada rocks
                                                                dude, im from canada. when ur cheques get big, youll get questions.
                                                                Comment
                                                                • icsky3
                                                                  SBR MVP
                                                                  • 04-14-07
                                                                  • 1700

                                                                  #33
                                                                  Has anyone every tried to cash them at those check advance places? Was thinkin maybe that would be as edgy..
                                                                  Comment
                                                                  • stump
                                                                    SBR MVP
                                                                    • 09-14-05
                                                                    • 1715

                                                                    #34
                                                                    Just tell the teller it is none of their business and deposit the check. If it is drawn in US funds and made out to you, they have no reason to question it. If there was an issue with it, it would be flagged by a backroom department, not a teller.
                                                                    Comment
                                                                    • WestsidePete
                                                                      SBR Hall of Famer
                                                                      • 07-19-07
                                                                      • 8049

                                                                      #35
                                                                      well...if the checks come from nevada I tell them it's a payment from the whore house I own...if it's a check from a foreign country I tell them it's from an international whore house I own...seems to work...
                                                                      Comment
                                                                      Search
                                                                      Collapse
                                                                      SBR Contests
                                                                      Collapse
                                                                      Top-Rated US Sportsbooks
                                                                      Collapse
                                                                      Working...