With the heaviest of heart

[batt33]

Thank you that is very nice of you. Losing a spouse is so different then anything else. In not even the last year we lost her mother in Sept. I still remember us driving 5 hours to get there more than once when she was not doing well then after her mom passed . Then my Aunt beginning Dec and my Uncle Godfather on New Years Eve.

I am going to the mothman festival this year though next month. She would have wanted that .

I am sorry you lost your wife also. That is a lot of years too. Add in the years before you got married too . We were together for 5 years before so almost 28 years .Thank god for my family and Snickers and Twix .

You're welcome It's good that you're getting out, Like you said your wife would have wanted that.... so true....so true.... I remember going to Reno to bet the football games... with another retired fire fighter for our annual trip..... because that is what she wanted me to do.

[ChuckyTheGoat]

Capt, another funny video for you: *(I don't know if this is AI-generated) Crododile attacks a young gorilla (and soon regrets it):

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/rZBE9lL3hho

[captrobey]

You're welcome It's good that you're getting out, Like you said your wife would have wanted that.... so true....so true.... I remember going to Reno to bet the football games... with another retired fire fighter for our annual trip..... because that is what she wanted me to do.

I think that is why i am doing the Mothman festival. We got covid last year and this year we were definitely going . So she would have still wanted me to go. There is a jewelry shop Crystal my friends wife wanted her to go to. I may buy something there and put it in her memorial. It is a several level cabinet so i can easily for things for her in there.

I also finally did my Drs appt today for my diabetes . Was weird without her. The Dr was very compassionate she remembered my wife all the times she came with me there.

[captrobey]

Capt, another funny video for you: *(I don't know if this is AI-generated) Crododile attacks a young gorilla (and soon regrets it):
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/rZBE9lL3hho

Lol yea i saw this before it is AI but funny. I love the movie clips but ruined by AI . AI has gotten so bad lol.

[ChuckyTheGoat]

Lol yea i saw this before it is AI but funny. I love the movie clips but ruined by AI . AI has gotten so bad lol.

Nice! I figured that it had to be AI.

Imagine if that gorilla really went to town on that croc. LOL

[Optional]

Lol yea i saw this before it is AI but funny. I love the movie clips but ruined by AI . AI has gotten so bad lol.

AI is already rewriting history and feeding us so many "alternative facts" I am starting to fear we may be the last humans to know free will. Or "know" anything really. :\

Not that future generations will know or care that they are in a mind control Matrix type existence.

[captrobey]

Nice! I figured that it had to be AI.

Imagine if that gorilla really went to town on that croc. LOL

Yea its gotten to the point where there is so much of it you cannot tell what is real anymore. Sometimes the fingers give it away or how stuff blends together.

[captrobey]

AI is already rewriting history and feeding us so many "alternative facts" I am starting to fear we may be the last humans to know free will. Or "know" anything really. :\

Not that future generations will know or care that they are in a mind control Matrix type existence.

I wanted to experience a zombie apocalypse before i die but now i am thinking it may be more of a Terminator style ending. I would enjoy seeing an army of them looking like Ozzy. Then they all malfunction and go around biting the heads off of bats.

[DwightShrute]

I wanted to experience a zombie apocalypse before i die but now i am thinking it may be more of a Terminator style ending. I would enjoy seeing an army of them looking like Ozzy. Then they all malfunction and go around biting the heads off of bats.

An asteroid designated 2024 YR4, is currently being tracked by NASA and could potentially impact Earth on December 22, 2032.

[Optional]

I wanted to experience a zombie apocalypse before i die but now i am thinking it may be more of a Terminator style ending. I would enjoy seeing an army of them looking like Ozzy. Then they all malfunction and go around biting the heads off of bats.

There's a sighting of the old Cappy

[ChuckyTheGoat]

An asteroid designated 2024 YR4, is currently being tracked by NASA and could potentially impact Earth on December 22, 2032.

Dwight, when I want to blow my mind, I watch Randall Carlson videos.

People don't realize the true probabilities of this stuff. If the 1908 Tunguska event had happened in Moscow or New York City, it would wipe out ten million people easily.

Wonder if the USA (or other world powers) could develop a technology to disintegrate an asteroid. Sooner or later, it hits. Just a matter of time.

[DwightShrute]

Dwight, when I want to blow my mind, I watch Randall Carlson videos.

People don't realize the true probabilities of this stuff. If the 1908 Tunguska event had happened in Moscow or New York City, it would wipe out ten million people easily.

Wonder if the USA (or other world powers) could develop a technology to disintegrate an asteroid. Sooner or later, it hits. Just a matter of time.

[captrobey]

An asteroid designated 2024 YR4, is currently being tracked by NASA and could potentially impact Earth on December 22, 2032.

This is the potential good news i have been looking for

[captrobey]

There's a sighting of the old Cappy

Yea i admit i am not my find humor in every single thing self but now and again i have it back lol.

[batt33]

I think that is why i am doing the Mothman festival. We got covid last year and this year we were definitely going . So she would have still wanted me to go. There is a jewelry shop Crystal my friends wife wanted her to go to. I may buy something there and put it in her memorial. It is a several level cabinet so i can easily for things for her in there.

I also finally did my Drs appt today for my diabetes . Was weird without her. The Dr was very compassionate she remembered my wife all the times she came with me there.

doctors appointments ugh.... yes our wives kept us in line.....but big point... you went without her( it flipping hurts) but there are also people in our lives who would expect nothing less... and that keeps us grounded...... Batt

[Bluehorseshoe]

Sorry for your loss.

[captrobey]

doctors appointments ugh.... yes our wives kept us in line.....but big point... you went without her( it flipping hurts) but there are also people in our lives who would expect nothing less... and that keeps us grounded...... Batt

It was a bit emotional the first thing the Dr did when she walked in was came over and hugged me . She always went with me there for support. She remembered the last time she saw her she looked fine. That is what is so frustrating. But i got through it.

Oh i got a new car a couple weeks ago and had the dash cam put in Friday. And this is just how it has been for me i had some old guy make a left in front of me ,I made left after him then he come to a complete stop in the middle of the road, and go in reverse right into my new car. Yup. Hopefully they admit what they did if not i got to hope the dashcam got it all.

[captrobey]

Sorry for your loss.

Thank you my friend

[ChuckyTheGoat]

Capt, listen to the 1st ten seconds of this clip:

[captrobey]

Capt, listen to the 1st ten seconds of this clip:

Lol i listened to the whole thing. Did you notice the statue in the back is the exact same position as she is crouched in. Well today will be running around all over . To the dealership to see about getting the dashboard aligned with Siri and check on the car . Then to the place i got Dashcams and see if i can get the video i cant get it on the phone. Then call police to get report if its ready. Then call that other guys insurance assuming he will not lie and say i rear ended him. Then call Dr just to say i was in accident i have had a headache the other day and my right leg was a little sore . Nothing major but i want it all documented.

[ki dice]

Our anniversary would have been Yesterday . Married 23 years had she not passed.Gone 11 + weeks now. I have still not placed a bet since she has been gone. It has been hard. Little things trigger more depression on.

I do miss everyone here and doing my ramblings. I may come back not heavily just a little for football season. But i wanted to hold off because the stress is just too much on top of everything that has happened. And i am not really sure i will come back . It just depends how i am feeling.My gambling had nothing to do with her passing But she did not like my gambling so i stopped to honor her wishes .

My family and friends have been critical to my surviving . My friends wife did not want me alone yesterday depressed so she made a nice dinner and invited my nieces and her husband . The nieces that work for me. The one had to work but the other came with her husband. These friends are the same ones i was supposed to go to the Mothman festival with but we got covid . I am going this year actually next month with them i think she would have wanted me to go .

I lit an electric candle all day Sat and Sun for her and had it next to her in the memorial. I watched a movie called Flow . Before she passed i played the trailer she wanted to see it. She just passed before we did. The little cat reminds me of our Snickers. My wife LOVED cats. So do i really . Her Obituary instead of flowers there was a link to donate to a cat shelter in her name. She would have loved this movie. Hopefully she watched it from the other side with me from the Memorial where her Urn is.

I am still having a hard time but Snickers and Twix need me still and i need them to just survive. Anyway hope you are all doing well. Here's a couple pics of her memorial and Snickers (Her baby in the box)and Twix (On the bed)and the dinner my friends wife made and a scene from Flow
Take care guys ....

Hey Cap just saw this post what a beautiful memorial you have set up in honor of youre wife. Very glad to see little by little youre doing a little better. Of course you’re gambling didn’t have anything to do with her health issues she had going on at all the only thing was that she may of been more selfish lol into wanting more of you by her side watching movies than the ones you already had if even was at all possible to give more since you would only be gone maybe a few hours a week pulling a game. Also I’m sure it’s not easy to have stopped all kinds of gambling the way you have in honor of her she would be extremely proud This shows the tremendous amount of love and loyalty you had for her. It’s sad not to see you on as much youre ramblings and rumblings were 2nd to none and was also sad that it looked liked you were on one of youre biggest runs ever and could of possibly hit over 100,000 in payouts would of been fun to see but anyway glad to see youre a little better and if you continue to get better little by little see what happens in the future if you decide to do a deposit here and there and be in control wouldn’t hurt but you totally see if you need to or not. Take care my friend

[captrobey]

Hey Cap just saw this post what a beautiful memorial you have set up in honor of youre wife. Very glad to see little by little youre doing a little better. Of course you’re gambling didn’t have anything to do with her health issues she had going on at all the only thing was that she may of been more selfish lol into wanting more of you by her side watching movies than the ones you already had if even was at all possible to give more since you would only be gone maybe a few hours a week pulling a game. Also I’m sure it’s not easy to have stopped all kinds of gambling the way you have in honor of her she would be extremely proud This shows the tremendous amount of love and loyalty you had for her. It’s sad not to see you on as much youre ramblings and rumblings were 2nd to none and was also sad that it looked liked you were on one of youre biggest runs ever and could of possibly hit over 100,000 in payouts would of been fun to see but anyway glad to see youre a little better and if you continue to get better little by little see what happens in the future if you decide to do a deposit here and there and be in control wouldn’t hurt but you totally see if you need to or not. Take care my friend

Thanks it took the 3 of us awhile to get the memorial set up for her. The electric candle is from my cousin Denise she sent that and a book on Mediumship. I have to pick up reading that again. I figure i will Use the candle on special occasions like our anniversary and holidays.

It actually was not as hard stopping gambling because the grief was so bad . This is different from any death i have ever experienced. Losing a spouse is so much harder. I still have family and friends helping but at night when i am alone it is rough at times. I may come back when NFL starts i am not really sure yet. But i for sure do not want to get stressed out more then i have been. especially after the guy hit my new car lol .

[ki dice]

Thanks it took the 3 of us awhile to get the memorial set up for her. The electric candle is from my cousin Denise she sent that and a book on Mediumship. I have to pick up reading that again. I figure i will Use the candle on special occasions like our anniversary and holidays.

It actually was not as hard stopping gambling because the grief was so bad . This is different from any death i have ever experienced. Losing a spouse is so much harder. I still have family and friends helping but at night when i am alone it is rough at times. I may come back when NFL starts i am not really sure yet. But i for sure do not want to get stressed out more than i have been. especially after the guy hit my new car lol .

That’s beautiful to light the candle on special occasions. Absolutely the grief is unlike any other, but yea everyone copes differently I have an uncle, when his wife passed away my aunt 20 years ago he had another women within a month so everyone copes differently that’s why I meant for you to stop the gambling cold Turkey was easy for you because of the tremendous amount of love and loyalty you had for her. That’s why for some they would continue to possibly play to forget the grief where as you was the last thing on youre mind

[ki dice]

As for my uncle he has changed a few more girls also since then we have lost respect for him, but everyone I’m sure has different views if someone is young and wants to date again maybe it would be ok where as some would not be ok, I wonder everyone else is take on this subject would be, I would be interested in there opinions

[SBRMAN23]

So sorry for you loss cap, I was looking for you in your thread and wondering if everything was ok. Get well and do what you need to do. Bless up

[batt33]

It was a bit emotional the first thing the Dr did when she walked in was came over and hugged me . She always went with me there for support. She remembered the last time she saw her she looked fine. That is what is so frustrating. But i got through it.

Oh i got a new car a couple weeks ago and had the dash cam put in Friday. And this is just how it has been for me i had some old guy make a left in front of me ,I made left after him then he come to a complete stop in the middle of the road, and go in reverse right into my new car. Yup. Hopefully they admit what they did if not i got to hope the dashcam got it all.

Yes, Each time you do a new thing that you have done with your wife.... stirs memories for sure. As you said you get through it... not easy but you do. I remember the first fire assignment I had (out of unit/off forest) it was really tough... She always told me "be safe" take care of Terry( he is one of my Reno buddies(retired battalion chief) .. took his job when he retired.. big fires he got called back for fire team assignments as I do now) and don't worry about anything here.... f me... now .. I make sure critters are taken care of.... find somebody to water the yard..... make sure the refrigerator is empty... make sure the bills are paid... is the A/C set??? did I turn off the? is the garage door down? leaving town the first time .... it hit me pretty hard ,I pulled over and cried .... gathered my thoughts and went on..... sorry for the ramble ...but that's me...

sorry to hear about the vehicle... ugh.....

[mikejamm]

Beautiful memorial and memories of your wife, Capt. Very cool look’in cats man. I’m a cat and dog guy too.

You’re one of the ‘ol school guys who’s been here from the beginning and greatly appreciated bro. Our little gambling family has always leaned on each other during rough times, it’s heartwarming to see such kind compassion and friendship.
Think’in about you brother. Take care mate.