Feels Like the First Time

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  • Bread
    SBR Posting Legend
    • 03-16-08
    • 23726

    #1
    Feels Like the First Time
    Everyone remembers their first time. My first time was almost eight years ago. It was the NFL’s 2000 season, Week 14. I remember it like it was yesterday.

    I used to date a Jacksonville Jaguars fanatic. On Sundays, this girl would transform into a teal-wearing super fan. I feared for anyone’s health who would dare talk bad about Mark Brunell in her presence. One weekend, we decided to make the three hour drive up to Jacksonville to take in a live game.

    It just so happened that I had a group of buddies heading out to Vegas on that same weekend. One of them asked me if I wanted him to bet any games for me while he was there. After some deliberation, I took the plunge. I gave him $50, and he agreed to call me before the games started for further instructions.

    Now keep in mind that back then, $50 was like $1,000 to me. I was pretty busted, and my bill money was going towards beer. Up until that point, I had played fantasy football for over 10 years. I knew the season-long gamble rush that it had provided. I had never bet so much on a single game with immediate results before. I was looking forward to it.

    We arrived in Jacksonville early on Saturday and got the pre-requisite downtown partying out of the way. Then Sunday morning arrived. The Jags game was a 4 pm start. I grabbed a paper and began to scour through the early games. We headed out around 11 am to find a sports bar. By noon, I had already absorbed a couple bottles of liquid courage. I had chosen my game, and awaited my phone call.


    Kickoff drew near and my phone remained dormant. I was wondering if my sports betting virginity was going to be brushed off like my sexual virginity had been so many times before it. Then, he called me. Score!

    The Oakland Raiders were three point favorites over the Pittsburgh Steelers. I instructed him to put my entire $50 on Pittsburgh. It was then that my friend informed me that another buddy that was there with him was doing a really big bet. For this story, we’ll just call him “Pete”. This was Pete’s first time at a sportsbook, and he wanted to pop his cherry with a bang. He was risking $1,100 to win $1,000 on the St. Louis Rams. They were 7.5 point favorites playing the lowly Carolina Panthers. Once again, to any of my broke band of friends, a grand was like the equivalent of ten grand. Pete had lost his mind.

    Then the games began. Wouldn’t you know it…my measly $50 wager made that game take on a new life. Dropped passes and penalties had never hurt so badly. Field goals and even extra points had never meant so much. While I wished temporary ill will towards Rich Gannon and Tyrone Wheatley, I found myself rooting for Kordell Stewart of all people, like never before. Sometime in the fourth quarter, Slash pulled it out for me, scoring on a long TD run and giving the Steelers a 21-20 outright win.

    My hero for a day


    As much as I wanted to enjoy my moment, I was always drawn to that Rams game. I asked them to put it on the TV next to my game so I could keep an eye on it. These were the defending Super Bowl champs, playing a bad Panthers team. The Greatest Show on Turf, which was known for putting up a kajillion points on a regular basis, led by Kurt Warner. Their offense was so good, that it was the norm for their fourth and fifth receivers to crack fantasy starting lineups. I think you already know how this story ended for Pete.

    Warner threw for just 189 yards with four picks, and was sacked seven times. The Rams fumbled four times, losing three of them and were flagged for nine penalties. Carolina won 16-3 behind three Joe Nedney field goals. Pete couldn’t have picked a worse game to unload on. I heard it ruined the rest of his trip.

    To this day you can still get a reaction when you mention this game to him. In case you weren’t sure, it’s not a good one. I do know that he just won $200 on Arizona this past weekend, so maybe he’s made his peace with Kurt Warner? Naaahhhh….

    Pete is still bitter


    That evening we went to the Jags game. They were playing the Browns, who were starting Spurgeon Wynn at quarterback. In a truly comical performance, Wynn threw for SEVENTEEN yards. The score was 48-0 Jacksonville. I pulled out my paper and saw that they were only favored by 14.5. I knew I was hooked.

    Of course I’ve had many games that I wish I could wipe away from my memory since then. But I’ll never forget my first. And neither will Pete.
  • Chi_archie
    SBR Aristocracy
    • 07-22-08
    • 63172

    #2
    good stuff, entertaining read.
    Comment
    • CaneDawg
      SBR Hall of Famer
      • 08-25-08
      • 6256

      #3
      top notch

      nice post
      Comment
      • ryanXL977
        SBR Posting Legend
        • 02-24-08
        • 20615

        #4
        breads is the edgar allan poe of sbr
        Comment
        • Bread
          SBR Posting Legend
          • 03-16-08
          • 23726

          #5
          LOL thanks fellers. It's all true.
          Comment
          • tacomax
            SBR Hall of Famer
            • 08-10-05
            • 9619

            #6
            I was most disappointed. From the title, I was hoping that this thread would be a review of Robyn's reconstructive vaginal surgery.
            Originally posted by pags11
            SBR would never get rid of me...ever...
            Originally posted by BuddyBear
            I'd probably most likely chose Pags to jack off too.
            Originally posted by curious
            taco is not a troll, he is a bubonic plague bacteria.
            Comment
            • bmw530i
              Restricted User
              • 04-19-08
              • 4058

              #7
              Foreigner couldn't have played it any better...
              Comment
              • Bread
                SBR Posting Legend
                • 03-16-08
                • 23726

                #8
                Originally posted by tacomax
                I was most disappointed. From the title, I was hoping that this thread would be a review of Robyn's reconstructive vaginal surgery.
                No bungy cord action goin on Taco. No need for all that noise.
                Comment
                • AMBlai01
                  SBR Hall of Famer
                  • 09-16-08
                  • 5882

                  #9
                  Very Good Story!
                  Comment
                  • smitch124
                    SBR Posting Legend
                    • 05-19-08
                    • 12566

                    #10
                    If you had lost that bet, it might be you running for president tonight...
                    Comment
                    • AMBlai01
                      SBR Hall of Famer
                      • 09-16-08
                      • 5882

                      #11
                      Originally posted by smitch124
                      If you had lost that bet, it might be you running for president tonight...
                      Would they allow a Mustard Face be President?
                      Comment
                      • smitch124
                        SBR Posting Legend
                        • 05-19-08
                        • 12566

                        #12
                        Originally posted by AMBlai01
                        Would they allow a Mustard Face be President?
                        I wouldn't think, but I bet he first reached for the mustard after a big gambling loss.
                        Comment
                        • bigboydan
                          SBR Aristocracy
                          • 08-10-05
                          • 55420

                          #13
                          Very good story sir.
                          Comment
                          • Bread
                            SBR Posting Legend
                            • 03-16-08
                            • 23726

                            #14
                            I coulda been Barack Obreada!!
                            Comment
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