Looking For a Woman. Please Help If You Can.

[Seaweed]

I will most likely be returning to North America in the spring, and will be seeking a woman for a relationship. If anyone knows any single woman looking for somebody, please refer them to me and let me know. Most of my time has been dedicated on pursuing money, and not the female. I have only once had a female companion in my life, and that ended in 2008 due to financial misunderstandings and disagreements over my practice as a handicapper.

If anyone knows a woman who meets the following criteria, please let me know so we can arrange a date next spring (most likely between april-may).

1. No Sexual Intercourse Before Marriage.

2. Must know how to Cook, Clean, and Iron.

3. Must be a fan of Columbo.

4. Must be supportive of my dream in becoming an internationally recognized professional handicapper.

5. Must have no siblings.

6. Must be under 300 Pounds.

7. Must not be related to jjGold.

8. Must dress respectable at all times.

9. Must not have any kids.

10. Must be older than 34 but younger than 55.

11. Must have short hair.

12. Must not have Facebook, Twitter or any other sexually exploitative social networking website.

13. Must have money, and be willing to share.

14. Must be willing to remain silent when i am watching " The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross"

15. Must be willing to sleep in separate beds until marriage.


Thank you for any help.

[Waterstpub87]

Good luck, I don't think there are many 34+ virgins out there.

[ChuckyTheGoat]

should be no problem

[HoulihansTX]

Start with a convent, and work your way up to a hooker.

[Seaweed]

should be no problem

Do you have anyone?

[trytrytry]

i got a line on a 33 year old virgin for you...

[Smoke]

jjgold is a likely option

[Avenger]

Can she be from Russia?

[Seaweed]

Can she be from Russia?

That wouldn't be a problem.

However, she can't be from that country that talks funny.

[CanuckG]

[Brock Landers]

Saloon this shit

[Avenger]

bride.ru/

[Seaweed]

bride.ru/

I do not trust that. Looks like nobody has any woman looking for me?

[Seaweed]

I forgot to mention that i would require a picture before we meet on our date.

[KingJD31]

[IMG][/IMG]

[redsoxfreak91]

I forgot to mention that i would require a picture before we meet on our date.

I actually used to see a girl like that one you want. I only had one picture of her but is that kind of what you are looking for?

[Roxxyfish]

Shari

[30K Millionaire]

fleshlight?

[Roxxyfish]

That wouldn't be a problem.

However, she can't be from that country that talks funny.

you mean USA ??

[GunShard]

Your Inspector Gadget avatar makes you appear like a boy and not a man. Women are attracted to men, not boys.

[BigDeem5]

This is gayer than Elton John

[The Giant]

I'm not comfortable with you wanting to turn your focus on to a woman, seaweed.

What will become of Seaweed Nation? Are you going to turn your back on the hundreds and thousands of followers you have garnered over the years?

You became the greatest handicapping force in the industry because you were able to eliminate all outside distractions. I'm just not sure why you would be willing to compromise the legacy you have established in order to have a woman sleep across the hall from you. Is it worth it? I don't think it is.

[Seaweed]

I'm not comfortable with you wanting to turn your focus on to a woman, seaweed.

What will become of Seaweed Nation? Are you going to turn your back on the hundreds and thousands of followers you have garnered over the years?

You became the greatest handicapping force in the industry because you were able to eliminate all outside distractions. I'm just not sure why you would be willing to compromise the legacy you have established in order to have a woman sleep across the hall from you. Is it worth it? I don't think it is.

I understand the concerns everyone would have. Specifically, the fear on the distractions it would bring in sidetracking my handicapping. However, what everyone should be aware of is that i am and always will be in a permanent relationship with Seaweed Nation. No woman or man can come between us. The reasons i have decided to pursue a woman is strictly for financial purposes. I could use the extra money to fund my handicapping to garner a greater profit. It doesn't look like there is a woman out there for me. It's OK, i am still happy with all of my fans.

[ChalkyDog]

And I want a magical pussy on a sugar momma that allows me to drink and gamble all day and gives me at least a $5,000 weekly allowance. Seaweed - you find me that, and I'll get you a 28 year old college girl that matches all your preferred qualities.

[Hilljacademics]

[stuck621]

saloon this shit.......this guy is an attention whore

[jjgold]

Seahead jump in the fukkin ocean man and stop living life by a fukkin book

[Jerm3462]

Seaweed odds on finding that woman in USA +9999

[Smoke]

[Big Bear]

Saloon this shit

lol

my best advice for the OP is go to a horse race. Women who own horses have atleast 300K in their bank account. In OP's case he is going to have to find one with a low self esteem.

As far as finding a chick who is a virgin and over 34 years old.... Thats going to be extremely tough.Especially if she is also supportive of your dream of becoming a professional gambler.

[Smoke]

14. Must be willing to remain silent when i am watching " The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross"Thats a toough one saer

[Seaweed]

Smoke im still looking