Calling in sick tomorrow what should I text my boss?

[Big Bear]

I am not going to work tomorrow

is it pretty standard to say

“hey boss I’m sorry but I can’t make it to work today I’m not feeling well. I’ll be there tomorrow” ?

does that work?

I havent called in sick in like 3 years

[Fidel_CashFlow]

can i see what you look like?

[deltgen]

You shouldn't. You should be a man and phone him/her, not text.

[BustinNutz]

Tell him you have a date with a fake girl that you don’t remember what she looks like who won’t let you penetrate her like the other 100 posts you’ve made this year

[Big Bear]

You shouldn't. You should be a man and phone him/her, not text.

my boss prefers text bc of paper trail. She has to show her boss.

[d2bets]

Tell her you're boning a chick with celiac disease and you have to make an emergency gluten-free granola bar run.

[Big Bear]

Tell her you're boning a chick with celiac disease and you have to make an emergency gluten-free granola bar run.

okay thanks but can I get a serious answer

I gotta wake up at 6am to send the text

[Eddy Munny]

Tell him you're struggling with profound mental illness and you wanna go blow off a little steam at the gun range.

[Big Bear]

Tell him you're struggling with profound mental illness and you wanna go blow off a little steam at the gun range.

oh snap

[Big Bear]

foreal i need to call in sick and i’m not a good liar

my boss is going to be pissed but I need something believable

maybe allergies?

[BrickJames]

Okay first of all, your boss is a woman? LOL!

Honestly how could you answer to a woman everyday? Have your balls been sucked all the way up into your body cavity yet?

Here's what you tell her, call her up and tell her that there's something wrong with your eye.

When she asks what's wrong with your eye, say " I just can't see coming in today".

If she does not give you the day off tell human resources that she offered to blow you for extra days off.

[Booya711]

Big bear having a job is the most disturbing part of the thread. He doesn’t seem like he could hold a job

[peacebyinches]

Okay first of all, your boss is a woman? LOL!

Honestly how could you answer to a woman everyday? Have your balls been sucked all the way up into your body cavity yet?

Here's what you tell her, call her up and tell her that there's something wrong with your eye.

When she asks what's wrong with your eye, say " I just can't see coming in today".

If she does not give you the day off tell human resources that she offered to blow you for extra days off.

This

[Auto Donk]

tell him you banged the shit out of that herpes-laden bitch and now you got a f'n problem.......

[dbartinbwgc]

Tell you boss you got the SHITs
the I dont give a shit and i'm going to take a day off

[BeatTheJerk]

Tell her you have Conjunctivitis (pink eye) & just rub the shit out of your eye for a solid minute & send her a pic.

[Big Bear]

calling in sick was easy and painless.

my boss didnt even question me at all.

going to start doing that every couple months

[captrobey]

Tell him " My people are arriving tomorrow to destroy your world . But i like you so i will be spending the day tomorrow asking them to spare your life . No thanks needed ."

[dlowilly]

Be honest and tell her one of your anal warts exploded

[Big Bear]

Be honest and tell her one of your anal warts exploded

gross wtf is wrong with you

[Eddy Munny]

Tell him " My people are arriving tomorrow to destroy your world . But i like you so i will be spending the day tomorrow asking them to spare your life . No thanks needed ."

Have you ever called in "abducted by bigfoot?" Because I hear that bigfeets grant just one call per abductee and you wouldn't wanna jeopardize your job status with a no-call, no-show.

[captrobey]

Have you ever called in "abducted by bigfoot?" Because I hear that bigfeets grant just one call per abductee and you wouldn't wanna jeopardize your job status with a no-call, no-show.

Of course i did i just ended up using it too much. But it was not really an abduction because i went all those times willingly.

[cincinnatikid513]

i'm surprised u have a job u work at mcdonalds don't you

[Big Bear]

i'm surprised u have a job u work at mcdonalds don't you

haha no bro I’m a sales rep

[Itsamazing777]

what i say is exactly this

Not feeling well. Puking all night. Going to stay home today.

[Ratpack]

uti

[themike78]

haha no bro I’m a sales rep

What exactly do you sell?

[Big Bear]

What exactly do you sell?

I’m in IT sales so phone systems/internet to businesses.

It’s rough man you gotta have thick skin but hey when you are selling there is money to be made

[cincinnatikid513]

haha no bro I’m a sales rep

no wonder u ask so many damn questions

[Big Bear]

sales is the transference of emotion so you gotta have that certainty, confidence, and positivity within you first or there is no way your customer will.

Lately I have been in a mini slump and it’s definitely my own fault b/c I haven’t been in a great mood... I’m working on that though.

[SBR_Guest_Pro]

Ya you shouldn't be a pussy and text. Gotta call. I'd write you up for improper call off

[BeatTheJerk]

Next time tell her to fuk off, that’s what I told my last boss & I’ve actually never laid eyes on him ever again.