Have You Ever Been Interviewed at Work For Being in Trouble?

unde0087 · 03-22-17, 11:09 PM

Tell them you were texting. Make up a family illness that you were concerned about.

Seaweed · 03-22-17, 11:23 PM

Originally posted by unde0087

Tell them you were texting. Make up a family illness that you were concerned about.

Good one!

unde0087 · 03-22-17, 11:24 PM

No one ever questions family emergencies, you make up a sob story and they will be apologizing to you by the end. Just make sure it is believable and that will be that.

BiTeMe UsAdOj · 03-22-17, 11:38 PM

unde's solution too run-of-the-mill generic and won't work.

Better to tell your boss you were rubbing one out under your desk to a pornhub vid, so that you won't be tempted to sexually harass the new girl in the office.

He'll view that as PRO ACTIVE and might even ask if you learned that technique from a progressive seminar that the H.R. Department sent you to; you answer "YES", then he'll compliment you on putting such avant-guarde techniques into practical application, and will subsequently put you on the "short-list" for the next promotion that opens up.

TRUST ME... I wouldn't steer you wrong, here... DO THIS.

NrmlCurvSurfr · 03-22-17, 11:56 PM

Originally posted by BiTeMe UsAdOj

unde's solution too run-of-the-mill generic and won't work.

Better to tell your boss you were rubbing one out under your desk to a pornhub vid, so that you won't be tempted to sexually harass the new girl in the office.

He'll view that as PRO ACTIVE and might even ask if you learned that technique from a progressive seminar that the H.R. Department sent you to; you answer "YES", then he'll compliment you on putting such avant-guarde techniques into practical application, and will subsequently put you on the "short-list" for the next promotion that opens up.

TRUST ME... I wouldn't steer you wrong, here... DO THIS.

yes, this is accurate. Ive heard every excuse in the book, i know when employees are bullshitting and once they start that they are taken down a peg or two...

remember the movie office space? Peter was 100% honest and look where it got him...a straight shooter with upper management written all over him...

BiTeMe UsAdOj · 03-23-17, 12:04 AM

^^... we can only hope Weeder listens to our wisdom, 'Surfr. Only trying to help the kid......

unde0087 · 03-23-17, 12:10 AM

Originally posted by NrmlCurvSurfr

yes, this is accurate. Ive heard every excuse in the book, i know when employees are bullshitting and once they start that they are taken down a peg or two...

remember the movie office space? Peter was 100% honest and look where it got him...a straight shooter with upper management written all over him...

Ya most of us have heard every excuse in the book. The fact is everyone has family and has went through tough times. This is the easiest thing to exploit there is because of natural human emotion. Now of course there are people you can see right through when they are lying because they are just stupid and have no plan going in. The easiest thing is to recount one of the actual real family emergencies that happened in the past. Then it is real, there are facts, and hence believable.

As far as the office space example, that is why they call them movies.

NrmlCurvSurfr · 03-23-17, 12:21 AM

Originally posted by unde0087

Ya most of us have heard every excuse in the book. The fact is everyone has family and has went through tough times. This is the easiest thing to exploit there is because of natural human emotion. Now of course there are people you can see right through when they are lying because they are just stupid and have no plan going in. The easiest thing is to recount one of the actual real family emergencies that happened in the past. Then it is real, there are facts, and hence believable.

As far as the office space example, that is why they call them movies.

Yes its only a movie, but the reference/concept had to come from somewhere...my point is that honesty goes a long way and is a good indicator when trying to analyze someones loyalty...I once had an employee call and tell me he was too drunk from the night before to come in for work...yeah we documented it and consulted with him but in the long run I didn't lose any respect for him...on the other hand I've had someone call me 30 min after they were supposed to be at work and tell me she was taking their kid to the doctor.....she sounded like she just woke up...bullshit

they were both probably hungover AF but at least the one guy was honest...

astro61200 · 03-23-17, 12:28 AM

When I worked at Charter I was called in to have a meeting because some old hag called in and claimed I said "What a bitch" to her on the phone.

In reality it was my supervisor that said it. I tried to explain this to my manager but he had only been my manager for a month or so so took the supervisor's side. They gave me some bullshit warning that prevented me from moving up for 6 months. I was probably going to be promoted within a month.

Ended up just draining my FMLA, a few months later, when my son was born and never showed up again afterward. Best thing that could have happened to me or else I'd still be in Louisville and not my own boss making more in a weekend than I did in 2 weeks at Charter.

pilebuck13 · 03-23-17, 12:29 AM

Don't be on your phone at work unless it's completely ok. Shows laziness and no interest in career. If you have to place a bet whatever go to the bathroom💡. Idk I guess it depends on your career obviously most office types probably can be on there phone. But where I work you'll get something like put that fukin phone away

chico2663 · 03-23-17, 01:52 AM

Too many times to be counted.

ArchieBunker · 03-23-17, 04:26 AM

Originally posted by Seaweed

Have an interview because i was caught using my phone sitting down posting at SBR and betting games.

It was towards end of work and was not busy

What defense do i have or excuse i can use?

Tell the jerk offs it was family emergency

ArchieBunker · 03-23-17, 04:31 AM

Subway really this strict Seaweed

ArchieBunker · 03-23-17, 04:33 AM

Forgot been awhile

Leafs

astro61200 · 03-23-17, 05:17 AM

Originally posted by ArchieBunker

Subway really this strict Seaweed

Ricky over here throwing stones

Jack Nash · 03-23-17, 05:55 AM

Just explain to them you were watching some porn and interacting on live chat with the girl. Tell them everybody actually does it and your not ashamed :-) Im sure you will get a pat on the back if you say this :-)

toga toga · 03-23-17, 07:11 AM

Tell them you were trying to get in touch with someone to resolve and issue and that it won't happen again.

Just be be prepared for them to ask to view your phone to see whether you have any proof. Check whether you have anything that you would not want them to see and make sure you get rid of it.

The he most important thing is to apologize and say it won't happen again.

TheSideBet · 03-23-17, 08:37 AM

Headhunter was annoying you with repeated texts about meeting for drinks after work. Had exciting news for you but you told him you needed to get back to work. You love it there.

Auto Donk · 03-23-17, 09:08 AM

only once, when my office let us put up whatever f'n screensaver we wanted.....

small-breasted ball-bustin' bitch office manager wrote me up for mine..... f'n whore.....

this is NOT offensive:

USCPHILLYGUY · 03-23-17, 09:10 AM

Should be fired immediality....you're there getting paid to work....fukin slacker

Auto Donk · 03-23-17, 09:21 AM

Originally posted by Seaweed

Have an interview because i was caught using my phone sitting down posting at SBR and betting games.

It was towards end of work and was not busy

What defense do i have or excuse i can use?

best excuse:

snap your f'n tail off and throw it on your boss's desk, claim you're disabled, and are being discriminated against.....

if nothing else, you'll have the satifaction of knowing you grossed your boss out as your pack up you shit and get the fuk outta there..... I can assure you the sight of this f'n thing wiggling around on his/her desk will have him/her puking:

Roscoe_Word · 03-23-17, 10:13 AM

Can you just say you were on ESPN (looking at scores or something) or do they know you were betting?

I'm sure this happens all the time and is not a terminable offense.

The boss interviewing you I'll bet goes online during work hours.

IMO, just take the medicine. If your boss is not an a-hole, that'll be the end of it.

astro61200 · 03-23-17, 03:32 PM

Claim your grandmother died. Bring in a human finger as proof.

Snowball · 03-23-17, 04:54 PM

are you kidding me, what are you a slave ?

tell him to beat it in the closet.
you live in Canada, jobs are everywhere,
grow a sack and get RIPPED !!!

SharpAngles · 03-23-17, 05:39 PM

Who in the serious fck would hire this creature?

Auto Donk · 03-23-17, 05:50 PM

Originally posted by SharpAngles

Who in the serious fck would hire this creature?

he had that f'n Geico job all sewed up until they saw one of his sniffling, all dark videos on SBR.....

so they went with the animated gecko instead

big joe 1212 · 03-23-17, 06:09 PM

Wait, you have a job?

TheGoldenGoose · 03-23-17, 06:25 PM

Hu$tle · 03-23-17, 09:53 PM

usually boss will only say something if your work ethic or performance sucks already

guy knocking it out of the park daily doesnt get his shit pushed in about this

Seaweed · 03-23-17, 10:50 PM

I said i went on phone to check weather because i thought i noticed a leak in the ceiling above.

The Supervisor laughed and said theres 3 floors above us. I got awkward and broke down crying. He said it would only be a warning this time since I have proven myself good with my hands

Auto Donk · 03-23-17, 11:28 PM

good with your hands?

you mean those sticky ass fingers of yours that help you cling to things????

NrmlCurvSurfr · 03-23-17, 11:42 PM

Originally posted by TheGoldenGoose

i remember when I first got into management...one day I showed up an hour late...then i remembered I was in charge and there was nobody to even report me being "late"...opened the door to all kinds of exceptions...I was too valuable to have my balls busted for little things as long as my numbers were on point...

NrmlCurvSurfr · 03-23-17, 11:47 PM

Originally posted by Hu$tle

usually boss will only say something if your work ethic or performance sucks already

guy knocking it out of the park daily doesnt get his shit pushed in about this

exactly...you have to be very discreet with favoritism these days...but I let my top performers get away with more than employees that are underperforming...thats just the real world...this happens in every business, even sports....you think tom brady gets his balls busted for being late? fk no...