sobriety thread

[The Kraken]

Grape a signed Earnie Banks ball. Unrealz. Srsly though thanks for the post.

If i had a nickel for every time I've done this to myself I'd have at least a few dollars right now. It's sick. I sit here tonight, knowing that in 19 days I'm going to walk into my doctors office and get another script. And all I think of is two things, how this is the last time I will take too many and go through this again, and how good it will feel to pop 3-4 right when i get home, lower the blinds and melt into my couch.

Oh well, this thread is about sobriety!!!!! Not WD's. I'm a sober man for 19 more days. Gonna live it up right

[TonyTall]

kraken are you for real bro or pulling our legs?


5:42 just woke up hungover not sure if i ate last night or not i dont even remember. fuk. i switched vodka went with some cheaper stuff and paid the price now i have a hangover fuk

[TheMetsSuck]

u both need help.dont wait until you hit rockbottom.

[gauchojake]

Gaucho I know.

Gaucho It used to be a hobby. It's easy come, easy go. I went through 90 oxys in 8 days.

Gaucho now I'm taking risks that could get me fired and land me a felony.

I actually thought about it quite hard today. I've taken more risks in the last 4 days than in my entire life and although it appears I've gotten off scott free, i still took the risks.

Its time Jake

Jesus that's crazy. I've seen some bad shit happen with opiates. This happened to my brother....injured at work and needs painkillers. Fast forward 10 years and he is still battling opiate addiction. Can't sleep right, can barely hold a job. No friends except his old junkie buds. It's an ugly road.


What does mrs Kraken think of all this?

[SamDiamond]

Checkin in

Ran out of narcs four days ago

Bummed some Oxy off my dad three days ago, he just had surgery. Gave me six. Took them all in three hours.

Day 2 for me. It's terrible. At least you can go to the fukking store and get some fukking liquor. Ive got tremors, anxiety, shortness of breath.

My heart rate is over 100 so Im taking my neighbors beta blockers.

Just two more weeks

I had a client. He had a 75 million dollar business----- 38 years old, married, 3 kids.

Got himself hooked on Oxy.

Within 6 months he was dead.

The decline of his life was so horrific. I provided risk assessment for the company trying to insure him, he could not secure a liability policy because of his addiction. His struggles became public. His wife booted his ass to the curb-- he moved into a hotel, and that very weekend died.

That shit is demon.

Krak-- get off of it. You're going to die. You are not living life, you are surviving day-day.

[MoneyLineDawg]

Yeah should probably get off the painkillers Kraken.....Weed/Benzos should help you at the very least for the time being

I know a ton of people that messed around with em....some people can keep it a recreational/ small dose thing but others it has destroyed and even killed

They are really awesome but just not worth it in the long run if you have built a tolerance

[daneblazer]

Anyone who thinks they have a problem should read chapter 3...you may have a moment of clarity.

http://www.aa.org/bigbookonline/en_bigbook_chapt3.pdf

[konck]

I gotta laugh at the whining fools on this site/
Man what a bunch of cryin fuk ups

[PaperTrail07]

Man...The penetrate UPPP

[PaperTrail07]

IMO once your a pill junkie---your almost always a pill junkie.....QUOTE=SamDiamond;21191924]I had a client. He had a 75 million dollar business----- 38 years old, married, 3 kids.

Got himself hooked on Oxy.

Within 6 months he was dead.

The decline of his life was so horrific. I provided risk assessment for the company trying to insure him, he could not secure a liability policy because of his addiction. His struggles became public. His wife booted his ass to the curb-- he moved into a hotel, and that very weekend died.

That shit is demon.

Krak-- get off of it. You're going to die. You are not living life, you are surviving day-day.[/QUOTE]

[The Kraken]

kraken are you for real bro or pulling our legs?

5:42 just woke up hungover not sure if i ate last night or not i dont even remember. fuk. i switched vodka went with some cheaper stuff and paid the price now i have a hangover fuk

Real talk, Tony.

Jesus that's crazy. I've seen some bad shit happen with opiates. This happened to my brother....injured at work and needs painkillers. Fast forward 10 years and he is still battling opiate addiction. Can't sleep right, can barely hold a job. No friends except his old junkie buds. It's an ugly road.


What does mrs Kraken think of all this?

Sorry to hear about your brother. Opiates are a double edged sword for sure. Anyone denying that doesn't have much experience with them. They're needed. And sometimes they're needed over a long period of time. And they're abused by recreational users. Then they're abused even by those of us that need them long term. Hope he gets better.

Me and Mrs Kraken almost called it quits about a year ago and the Oxy played a big role in that. She was blindsided by it all. I've been on them for over 4 years, I go to my docs office once a month and get a script and have been doing this for over 4 years and she just found out a year ago. We were separated for a few weeks. She knows I'm still on them and accepts that I need them. She does give me hell though when I go through a 30 day supply in 8 days. Having to open up to her about the whole thing was very difficult, as you can imagine when it comes to the meds, I'm a rather private person. But I knew if I wanted to keep her, everything had to be put on the table. It was embarrassing and still is, I know her family judges me. She's close with them and talks a lot. But we get along. She just wants to know what's going on.

I had a client. He had a 75 million dollar business----- 38 years old, married, 3 kids.

Got himself hooked on Oxy.

Within 6 months he was dead.

The decline of his life was so horrific. I provided risk assessment for the company trying to insure him, he could not secure a liability policy because of his addiction. His struggles became public. His wife booted his ass to the curb-- he moved into a hotel, and that very weekend died.

That shit is demon.

Krak-- get off of it. You're going to die. You are not living life, you are surviving day-day.

Sammy I've been on them a while. I'll be alright. The worst I have to look forward to is one day my doctor retiring, long term health problems and then I always know deep down I'll be back at this point next month, going through wd's again. I dread them and every time i get a new refill, I swear to myself I'm not going down this road again. Then after the first day I've taken 10 of them, I know it's just a matter of time.

[The Kraken]

Yeah should probably get off the painkillers Kraken.....Weed/Benzos should help you at the very least for the time being

I know a ton of people that messed around with em....some people can keep it a recreational/ small dose thing but others it has destroyed and even killed

They are really awesome but just not worth it in the long run if you have built a tolerance

Man you got that post right. They are great for the first two days and then the remainder of the time, I'm popping just because I'm craving or starting to feel the previous dose wear off. At this point, I get very little high and I"m just avoiding the feelings of anxiety, racing heart, tremors and everything that comes along with detoxing. Around day 5 or 6, I end up taking something every few hours because I feel anxious if I don't.

And then I start counting and I always know how many more days until my next doc visit. So usually when I get down to about 23-24 pills left I'm thinking "ok, just one a day for 24 days, I'll have some rough patches through the day but then when I get home from work I'll pop one and all will be good". By the next day, I'm down to 16 or so and again I try to rationalize "ok, one every other day or half a pill every day". Then I'm down to 8 and know I'm fukked.

I gotta laugh at the whining fools on this site/
Man what a bunch of cryin fuk ups

Whining fools? Who the fukks whining other than you?

IMO once your a pill junkie---your almost always a pill junkie.....

I don't know if this is true or not. It may be but i haven't quit yet so I don't know what it will be like when I do.

I work with a guy that hooked on heroin for a while, says he's been clean for a few years now but he admits the cravings are still intense. He says doing h for the first time was the worst decision he ever made in his life and it still haunts him years later. Says he'll be sitting around doing nothing but thinking of h. I feel bad for the guy, he's a good guy that made a bad decision and lives with the consequences. So even though he wasn't a pill junkie he was on opiates, so you could be right.

Let me add this though, every month I go through wd's and they suck. There's other forums with better writers that can describe them much better than me so I won't do it the injustice of trying to describe them. I'm sure most here know the feeling and exactly what I'm talking about. But after I go through them I come out feeling better mentally. I've sworn many times I was done. I feel too good without them. Then the pain sets in and I remember why I was on them. I've had three surgeries in the last 4 years and I have one left at the end of this summer. So that's my silver lining. Hoping the next surgery fixes the pain and then I'll get back to you on once a pill junkie always a pill junkie.

[easyliving]

you need to get help, very few quit on their own, especially without any family support.

[MoneyLineDawg]

Kraken when you say you're doing 8 a day....what pills you talking about? Big difference between oxy 80s down to the 30 Roxys down to the 5 ** percs

[TonyTall]

if anxiety is your main problem a benzo will work wonders. something like ativan is not very addicting, well it can be. but i would think it would be much better than painkillers

if you are abusing only one script each month that is not even much of a habit. yet. i wouldnt call you a junkie yet. my brother is a oxy junkie he makes $40/hr so about $300 a day and has a $200 a day habit. he lives in one of my parents houses and doesnt pay rent. in fact they had to send him $1600 last week to pay his heating bill, they wouldnt have done it but the pipes would freeze if they didnt.

you need to try and take the pills just as prescribed, see how bad it really is. try it one month. thats just my opinion

[The Kraken]

I get prescribed 30mg Roxys. 90% of the time that's what I'm on. Use to take oc 80's for a few months, those fukkers were dangerous. Only time I realized I actually wasn't breathing

Once in a blue moon I'll ask for hydro's to "reset" and hopefully have less of a tolerance

[jbrent95]

An old Cherokee told his grandson: “My son, there is a battle between two wolves inside us all. One is evil. It is anger, jealousy, greed, and resentment, inferiority, lies and ego. The other is good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, humility, kindness, empathy, and truth.”
The boy thought about it, and asked, “Grandfather, which wolf wins?”
The old man quietly replied, “The wolf you feed.”

[chilidog]

This thread is sobering.

[SamDiamond]

if anxiety is your main problem a benzo will work wonders. something like ativan is not very addicting, well it can be. but i would think it would be much better than painkillers

if you are abusing only one script each month that is not even much of a habit. yet. i wouldnt call you a junkie yet. my brother is a oxy junkie he makes $40/hr so about $300 a day and has a $200 a day habit. he lives in one of my parents houses and doesnt pay rent. in fact they had to send him $1600 last week to pay his heating bill, they wouldnt have done it but the pipes would freeze if they didnt.

you need to try and take the pills just as prescribed, see how bad it really is. try it one month. thats just my opinion

Jesus Christ Tony.

You're struggling with booze, your brother with pills.

I think you guys need some help man.

Get healthy

[gauchojake]

GL Kracken. At least there's a light at the end of the tunnel and hopefully the docs can fix the physical ailments. Be careful at work and do the PT you need to do when you get to that point. You're too young to let this episode define your life.

Tony, get some help. Last longer sobriety thread???

[MoneyLineDawg]

I get prescribed 30mg Roxys. 90% of the time that's what I'm on. Use to take oc 80's for a few months, those fukkers were dangerous. Only time I realized I actually wasn't breathing

Once in a blue moon I'll ask for hydro's to "reset" and hopefully have less of a tolerance

Yeah I mess around with those roxys here and there but I'll do like a quarter of one and feel good for a few hours lol....I play a lot of basketball and my legs are fukked from football/rugby so they help so much in that way too.....they're strong little fukkers

One of my best friends is prescribed them from a bad car accident and throws me a few here and there when we chill....

What he says that helps when running low is he will do some in the morning, then when he gets cravings later in the day he will go work out and hit the steam room....then do some before bed

Crazy how these things are given out like candy but weed is still illegal for the majority of the country

GL Krakken......just try to do enough to feel good is my advice and space out doses......No reason to get completely nodded out or whatever, it's dangerous and you also have worse withdrawals

[DoggyStyle]

I feel yah... Been messing with oxys and hydros for the past 7 months... No bueno.

[The Kraken]

Yeah I mess around with those roxys here and there but I'll do like a quarter of one and feel good for a few hours lol....I play a lot of basketball and my legs are fukked from football/rugby so they help so much in that way too.....they're strong little fukkers

One of my best friends is prescribed them from a bad car accident and throws me a few here and there when we chill....

What he says that helps when running low is he will do some in the morning, then when he gets cravings later in the day he will go work out and hit the steam room....then do some before bed

Crazy how these things are given out like candy but weed is still illegal for the majority of the country

GL Krakken......just try to do enough to feel good is my advice and space out doses......No reason to get completely nodded out or whatever, it's dangerous and you also have worse withdrawals

Thanks, MLD. Good post. I think I'm going to try and do exactly what you said in your last post. This month for some reason has been particularly bad and it may have been what I needed to make a change.

I remember when I used to take them just like you. I could take a half a pill and feel like a million bucks. I took my first one back in college about 15 years ago. I was in class and just melted in my chair. Everything the teacher said made sense. I was aware of everything but cared about nothing. Thank god I didn't have a supply back then. Now it takes 3-4 to get some euphoria and nothing near that experience.

I'll check back in this thread some time next month and update it. See if I actually take them as prescribed or less.

GL with your battle Tony. In some ways, you're much worse off than me. I'm limited by my doctor, you're only limited by own awareness of your problem.

[TheMetsSuck]

i used to be able to pop 8mg of xanax and play 3 sets of tennis right after. Shiat gets crazy when your on a prescription for years and grow a huge tolerance. you always end up needing to take more to reach the same good feeling you used to get off a lower dose. I remember when in high school a .25 ** football would have me on my ass sleepy as fack. it was a sick feeling hearing your doctor tell you the amount of xanax you take and funcion on could knock out a gorilla. Decided to take klonopen for a week then valium the next week to quit. weening off was not for me and I did not like the road I was going down. I remember the feeling of running out of your scrip early and the withdrawals. Literally felt like i was going to faint I was so impatient waiting for my scrip to be filled pacing around the pharmacy. as soon as i'd get the bottle id have ate a few bars before i was even out of the store and immediately feel 200x better. One of the better decisions i made was to quit it cold turkey with the help of other drugs rather than ween off for years which im told is brutal. quitting is very possible if you are willing to admit you are powerless and are willing to get help to quit your addiction. a doc can hook you up with other drugs like suboxen to help you quit. dont be afraid to ask for help if you need it

[kevin101]

Man I don't know how people live being an alcoholic. When I drink I get drink but I don't drink that often at all. Last time I had a drink was back in January 17 staff party had 1 beer. Prior to that was New Years at my cousins drank to much felt like crap, couldn't drink the next day, tried, had a vodka and OJ but was hard to go down.

When I'm hung over I feel like CRAP. So tired, stomach is pounding, don't feel like eating, all I want to do is sleep and just lie down and do FUK all.

Drugs, never tried, don't think I will but I kind of want to just to see what the "hype" is all about but I am scared.

I don't know if I have an addiction type of personality. I know that I am addicted to gambling(wow took a lot to actually say that) but I've smoked ciggerattes and I am not addicted to them at all(only when I drink, sometimes not even I srink, honestly can't even remember the last time) and drinking, well feel like shet the next day and feel like never drinking ever again but that's just in that moment.

Hope y'all can get some help and get better.

[PaperTrail07]

Jesus 8mg then play tennis.....my god lolol

i used to be able to pop 8mg of xanax and play 3 sets of tennis right after. Shiat gets crazy when your on a prescription for years and grow a huge tolerance. you always end up needing to take more to reach the same good feeling you used to get off a lower dose. I remember when in high school a .25 ** football would have me on my ass sleepy as fack. it was a sick feeling hearing your doctor tell you the amount of xanax you take and funcion on could knock out a gorilla. Decided to take klonopen for a week then valium the next week to quit. weening off was not for me and I did not like the road I was going down. I remember the feeling of running out of your scrip early and the withdrawals. Literally felt like i was going to faint I was so impatient waiting for my scrip to be filled pacing around the pharmacy. as soon as i'd get the bottle id have ate a few bars before i was even out of the store and immediately feel 200x better. One of the better decisions i made was to quit it cold turkey with the help of other drugs rather than ween off for years which im told is brutal. quitting is very possible if you are willing to admit you are powerless and are willing to get help to quit your addiction. a doc can hook you up with other drugs like suboxen to help you quit. dont be afraid to ask for help if you need it

[reigle9]

I feel yah... Been messing with oxys and hydros for the past 7 months... No bueno.

Kind of an odd combo. Like drinking zima and 151.

[chilidog]

I just don't understand, why are ya'll in so much pain up there? Do your doctors just hand out opiates like candy?

I dislocated my shoulder and shattered my kneecap in a mountain bike accident. They popped my shoulder back in with no painkillers (worst pain of my life so far), and when I was recovering from the knee surgery, I got 1 shot of morphine, administered in the hospital. Beyond that, nope. Sure, it sucked, but Costa Rica also apparently isn't a society full of functioning addicts.

[MoneyLineDawg]

I just don't understand, why are ya'll in so much pain up there? Do your doctors just hand out opiates like candy?

I dislocated my shoulder and shattered my kneecap in a mountain bike accident. They popped my shoulder back in with no painkillers (worst pain of my life so far), and when I was recovering from the knee surgery, I got 1 shot of morphine, administered in the hospital. Beyond that, nope. Sure, it sucked, but Costa Rica also apparently isn't a society full of functioning addicts.

In short, yes

Plus easy to get on the black market if you wanna go that route

costa rica probably has more functioning cokeheads

[TonyTall]

kraken seems right there. at the point before he starts getting his fix from dealers. all downhill if he starts doing that

my dealer is 2 minutes away always has premium vodka on sale for 60% the usual price