Secrets to Tournament Domination

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  • Lowly Oaftard
    SBR Hustler
    • 01-19-14
    • 99

    #71
    Fresh off of ANOTHER TOURNAMENT VICTORY ( TOP PRIZE - 1ST PLACE), it is clearly becoming EVIDENT that I have THE KEY to UNLOCK the mysteries of success at SBR TOURNAMENT POKER. To celebrate another DOMINANT VICTORY ( winning all the chips in PLAY yet AGAIN), I have decided to GENEROUSLY SHARE another element of the STRATEGY that makes me the GREATEST TOURNAMENT PLAYER in SBR HISTORY. Without further ADO, let's get into some TIPS:

    Today's tip is fairly simple and straight forward ( You're welcome, user PAVYRACER - I know you like simplicity), and involves one of the most CRITICAL things in online poker : TIMING. Some players apply theoretically correct poker strategy in spots ( unlike poster Triple_D_Bet ), yet ignore WHEN they and other players PERFORM THEIR ACTIONS. On SBR Poker, the timing of PREFLOP ACTION is CRITICAL to your chances of winning AT SHOWDOWN. With UNSUITED HOLDINGS, make sure you perform your preflop action ( CALL OR RAISE) BEFORE less than 3 TICKS EXPIRE ON THE GREEN TIMER BAR. With suited holdings, make sure you wait until AT LEAST 3 CLICKS HAVE PASSED before performing your preflop action. These elements of timing trigger a FRACTAL MODIFICATION in the sequences the RANDOM NUMBER GENERATOR utilizes in it's card selection algorithm, impacting the HAND DISTRIBUTION in a favorable manner towards YOUR HOLDING. Use this TIP and watch YOUR RESULTS IMPROVE as you STOCKPILE TOURNAMENT WINS!

    PS - I have noticed QUITE A FEW users in this forum ADOPT my UNIQUE writing style emphasizing key PHRASES AND POINTS with caps. Kudos to you posters - the extra SPICE and FLAVOR added to your posts is nothing short of AMAZING.

    PPS - Poster Mike Jamm - It is unfortunate that your jealousy and envy compels you to spew hateful commentary towards MYSELF and other users who simply SEEK TO IMPROVE their tournament poker. Nonetheless, I encourage you to employ my tips and advice, offered to you without malice, and I earnestly bid you good luck in your GAMBLING ENDEAVORS. I would politely suggest that you be a little more open minded though...it would probably improve both your gambling success and quality of life ( which I'm speculating ranges somewhere between living in your parents basement, and under an overpass on a busy highway). Best wishes to YOU, sir.
    Comment
    • sinmiedo
      SBR MVP
      • 03-10-10
      • 2698

      #72
      very impress, i must say.
      i m just wondering what kind of keyboard you use when you play live
      Comment
      • Lowly Oaftard
        SBR Hustler
        • 01-19-14
        • 99

        #73
        Originally posted by sinmiedo
        very impress, i must say.
        i m just wondering what kind of keyboard you use when you play live
        My strategies revolve around exploiting flaws in RNG algorithms and predicting trends in rigged poker. In live poker, I just use poker strategy and table selection. LDO
        Comment
        • hockey216
          SBR MVP
          • 08-20-08
          • 4583

          #74
          how do you exploit a random number generator?

          umm... its random.

          no i dont believe you have magic wand and can affect odds by useless tactics.

          if it were true, why don't you have $100 Million dollars and why aren't you playing 2,000/4,000 NL?

          This is bafoonery by a conspiracy theorist.

          Last edited by hockey216; 02-20-14, 07:54 PM.
          Comment
          • hockey216
            SBR MVP
            • 08-20-08
            • 4583

            #75
            come play me at 10/20 NL and see how well your "RNG algorithm exploiter" works.


            Last edited by hockey216; 02-20-14, 07:54 PM.
            Comment
            • Triple_D_Bet
              SBR Hall of Famer
              • 12-12-11
              • 7626

              #76
              Originally posted by hockey216
              come play me at 10/20 NL and see how well your "RNG algorithm exploiter" works.


              Won't happen hockey...oaf's just a troll who refuses to accept the outcomes of 12 million hands on bovada that prove it's not rigged
              Comment
              • sinmiedo
                SBR MVP
                • 03-10-10
                • 2698

                #77
                Originally posted by hockey216
                come play me at 10/20 NL and see how well your "RNG algorithm exploiter" works.


                he is looking at a new keyboard before he plays you
                Comment
                • BeerDog99
                  SBR MVP
                  • 09-22-10
                  • 4894

                  #78
                  LOL, this is priceless!
                  Comment
                  • sinmiedo
                    SBR MVP
                    • 03-10-10
                    • 2698

                    #79
                    Originally posted by BeerDog99
                    LOL, this is priceless!
                    Ssshhhhh....h.e does not know about my mental abilities!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
                    Comment
                    • Lowly Oaftard
                      SBR Hustler
                      • 01-19-14
                      • 99

                      #80
                      Originally posted by sinmiedo
                      Ssshhhhh....h.e does not know about my mental abilities!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
                      That was a well played contest yesterday! Better luck next time.
                      Comment
                      • bobbywaves
                        SBR Posting Legend
                        • 05-06-08
                        • 13280

                        #81
                        Originally posted by Lowly Oaftard
                        Some players apply theoretically correct poker strategy in spots ( unlike poster Triple_D_Bet ).
                        Spot on assessment.
                        Comment
                        • smitch124
                          SBR Posting Legend
                          • 05-19-08
                          • 12566

                          #82
                          Originally posted by shari91
                          If everyone at the table is pushing the left shift key, then what happens?
                          The chat is in all caps
                          Comment
                          • pavyracer
                            SBR Aristocracy
                            • 04-12-07
                            • 82486

                            #83
                            LowlyOaftard,

                            I would like your thoughts on something I observed. How does the RNG work at SBR Poker? I have noticed a player getting AA at least 4 times in a span of 60 min at a tourney. I said at least because these are the times he was on my table and one time he showed his cards and the other 3 went to showdown. Not sure if he had more in other tables before moved to mine. Obviously it is good luck to have the RNG on your side but how does it work? Why would an RNG decide to give someone the same set of cards in such a short span? Is there a magic button to push, like the famous left shift key? I'm pretty sure a genius like yourself will know the answer.
                            Comment
                            • Triple_D_Bet
                              SBR Hall of Famer
                              • 12-12-11
                              • 7626

                              #84
                              Originally posted by bobbywaves
                              Spot on assessment.
                              By which he no doubt means your analytical abilities are on par with his...which most people would agree upon!
                              Comment
                              • bobbywaves
                                SBR Posting Legend
                                • 05-06-08
                                • 13280

                                #85
                                No doubt.
                                Comment
                                • yisman
                                  SBR Aristocracy
                                  • 09-01-08
                                  • 75682

                                  #86
                                  Originally posted by smitch124
                                  The chat is in all caps
                                  [quote=jjgold;5683305]I win again like usual
                                  [/quote]

                                  [quote=Whippit;7921056]miami won't lose a single eastern conference game through end of season[/quote]
                                  Comment
                                  • mikejamm
                                    SBR Posting Legend
                                    • 08-24-09
                                    • 11034

                                    #87
                                    Hey Lowly fuktard! Go fuk yourself! I play live every week and I guarantee I'm up lifetime over your stupid donk ass! I live in a nice house with a hot fuk'in wife and a couple of kids.

                                    This shit here is a fuk'in past time for me at home and at work, pointing out stupid fuk's like you who think their god's gift to poker at a rigged free points web site. I could give a rats fuk'in as about your stupid dick wad poker method and the idiots who follow you.

                                    You're full of shit and probably a fat fuk'in loser slob living on welfare. So keep left key shifting dip shit, too bad that's the best fuk'in line of shit you could come up with. Not a good way to gain any credibility at a site full of degenerates, but to each his own newbie douche bag. Some fuk'in desperate idiots would believe the moon is made of cheese if the right dumbass blows enough smoke up their ass.
                                    Last edited by mikejamm; 03-01-14, 01:31 AM.
                                    Comment
                                    • BennyBigNuts
                                      SBR Hall of Famer
                                      • 04-16-12
                                      • 8700

                                      #88
                                      Originally posted by Triple_D_Bet
                                      Hate to burst YOUR bubble oafy, but your tournament wins are MEANINGLESS...I KNOW for a fact that you were doing NOTHING on your own, colluding with every other PLAYER on the table (don't lie NOW) to have them SHOVE their bad hands (j6 OFF) into you to make you in. I even have the hand histories to prove it!
                                      You are one pathetic fukkin virgin.
                                      Comment
                                      • Triple_D_Bet
                                        SBR Hall of Famer
                                        • 12-12-11
                                        • 7626

                                        #89
                                        Originally posted by BennyBigNuts
                                        You are one pathetic fukkin virgin.
                                        Of course, that's why I'm an SBR plant...they promised me hookers and blow if I became one
                                        Comment
                                        • Mitchell88
                                          SBR MVP
                                          • 12-16-12
                                          • 4334

                                          #90
                                          Originally posted by mikejamm
                                          Hey Lowly fuktard! Go fuk yourself! I play live every week and I guarantee I'm up lifetime over your stupid donk ass! I live in a nice house with a hot fuk'in wife and a couple of kids.

                                          This shit here is a fuk'in past time for me at home and at work, pointing out stupid fuk's like you who think their god's gift to poker at a rigged free points web site. I could give a rats fuk'in as about your stupid dick wad poker method and the idiots who follow you.

                                          You're full of shit and probably a fat fuk'in loser slob living on welfare. So keep left key shifting dip shit, too bad that's the best fuk'in line of shit you could come up with. Not a good way to gain any credibility at a site full of degenerates, but to each his own newbie douche bag. Some fuk'in desperate idiots would believe the moon is make of cheese if the right dumbass blows enough smoke up their ass.
                                          If this is just a pastime for you why do you act like you might pull the trigger to a shotgun with your toe every other day?
                                          Comment
                                          • Auto Donk
                                            SBR Aristocracy
                                            • 09-03-13
                                            • 43559

                                            #91
                                            Originally posted by Triple_D_Bet
                                            Of course, that's why I'm an SBR plant...they promised me hookers and blow if I became one
                                            Long Ron, I've got news for you, that wasn't SBullshitR that promised you "hookers and blow", it was that mother penetrating Pat O'Brien!!!
                                            Comment
                                            • mikejamm
                                              SBR Posting Legend
                                              • 08-24-09
                                              • 11034

                                              #92
                                              Originally posted by Mitchell88
                                              If this is just a pastime for you why do you act like you might pull the trigger to a shotgun with your toe every other day?
                                              Not me bro, I just laugh at stupid shit and move on. I could seriously not give a fly'in fuk. It would be nice to have a little luck and some true honest variance here, but that will never happen at this fuk'in poker scam shithole!
                                              Comment
                                              • mikejamm
                                                SBR Posting Legend
                                                • 08-24-09
                                                • 11034

                                                #93
                                                Lowly fuktard = sbr john or some other sbr employee. Doesn't matter what the fuk you do guys, because it's the same bullshit like it's always been. Some fuk'in plant or newbie shows up and somehow miraculously wins a bunch of rigged tourneys and draws attention to it with some lame ass thread with a bullshit so called "technique"

                                                You notice you don't see sbr employees playing poker under their posting screen names, and it's exactly for this reason. Same old tired ass cheating fuk'in shit they've always done. Same fuk's that were here when they fuk'ed everyone at B.I. are the same ones here now, just different names. All the money stays with the house boys, SBR's low life scam house that is.

                                                Do you guys honestly think it's true poker variance when Lowly Oafuk wins 6 tourneys in a span of 2 weeks and cleans up in ring games? Give me a fuk'in break, biggest fuk'in rigged debacle here to date.
                                                Comment
                                                • USCPHILLYGUY
                                                  SBR Posting Legend
                                                  • 12-15-12
                                                  • 21744

                                                  #94
                                                  mikejams you do make a valid point about the guy.

                                                  Funny bout the AA Theory. Iv now played 3 tourneys and a ring game for about 2 hour and still have not been dealt pocket aces
                                                  Comment
                                                  • sinmiedo
                                                    SBR MVP
                                                    • 03-10-10
                                                    • 2698

                                                    #95
                                                    Originally posted by USCPHILLYGUY
                                                    mikejams you do make a valid point about the guy.

                                                    Funny bout the AA Theory. Iv now played 3 tourneys and a ring game for about 2 hour and still have not been dealt pocket aces
                                                    there are 52 cards to play poker, and if you are going to wait for AA to make a move, you need to change your strategies.
                                                    I do not remember when I got AA last time, probably 2 month ago, however , I manage to make many final tables ,
                                                    Comment
                                                    • BeerDog99
                                                      SBR MVP
                                                      • 09-22-10
                                                      • 4894

                                                      #96
                                                      Originally posted by sinmiedo
                                                      there are 52 cards to play poker, and if you are going to wait for AA to make a move, you need to change your strategies.
                                                      I do not remember when I got AA last time, probably 2 month ago, however , I manage to make many final tables ,
                                                      LOL, a little bit of an exaggeration (2 months... :-) but you have a very good point!
                                                      Comment
                                                      • sinmiedo
                                                        SBR MVP
                                                        • 03-10-10
                                                        • 2698

                                                        #97
                                                        My problem is that I do not know how to play big pairs
                                                        Comment
                                                        • Auto Donk
                                                          SBR Aristocracy
                                                          • 09-03-13
                                                          • 43559

                                                          #98
                                                          Originally posted by sinmiedo
                                                          My problem is that I do not know how to play big pairs
                                                          I titty-fck big pairs every time, raise a pearl necklace on the river!
                                                          Comment
                                                          • eidolon
                                                            SBR Hall of Famer
                                                            • 01-02-08
                                                            • 9531

                                                            #99
                                                            Congrats Lowly Oaftard on another win today
                                                            Comment
                                                            • BiTeMe UsAdOj
                                                              SBR Hall of Famer
                                                              • 08-18-11
                                                              • 7537

                                                              #100
                                                              Originally posted by eidolon
                                                              Congrats Lowly Oaftard on another win today
                                                              TY

                                                              Comment
                                                              • jbart28
                                                                SBR MVP
                                                                • 04-16-11
                                                                • 3387

                                                                #101
                                                                subscribed and now on 2p2. This is uber meta leveling at its finest. What were your superuser accounts on absolute? Were you greycat or potripper? Lemme get your screen names so I can OPR you and lemme get your name so I can hendon mob you. Since you are a beast on SBR Poker surely you have tons of live cashes and possibly a circuit ring or 2?
                                                                Comment
                                                                • TheMoneyShot
                                                                  BARRELED IN @ SBR!
                                                                  • 02-14-07
                                                                  • 28672

                                                                  #102
                                                                  What happened to this guy?? Is he still around???
                                                                  Comment
                                                                  • jbart28
                                                                    SBR MVP
                                                                    • 04-16-11
                                                                    • 3387

                                                                    #103
                                                                    Confirmed Busto
                                                                    Comment
                                                                    • daneblazer
                                                                      BARRELED IN @ SBR!
                                                                      • 09-14-08
                                                                      • 27861

                                                                      #104
                                                                      Originally posted by TheMoneyShot
                                                                      What happened to this guy?? Is he still around???
                                                                      He won yesterday & 2nd the day before.
                                                                      Comment
                                                                      • daneblazer
                                                                        BARRELED IN @ SBR!
                                                                        • 09-14-08
                                                                        • 27861

                                                                        #105
                                                                        I need to play more dailies. Haven't played one since the Triathlon. The World Cup gets me about as excited as Andy Reid walking into a Planet Fitness.
                                                                        Comment
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