American Idol: Hello Dolly Night!
Last night saw American Idol pay tribute to Dolly Parton...well, some performers paid tribute. Bread's still smitten with Kristy Lee Cook while Robyn cues exit music for Syesha, Ramiele or Brooke.
It was Dolly Parton night. Ryan started out the evening with an April Fools Joke. Yawn.
He was wearing a metallic suit. He looked like the Tin Man. One was missing a heart. The other, a soul.
Brooke White – ‘Jolene’
Odds Before Show: +805
Bread: It appears that Brooke was playing with a band from the backwoods of Kentucky. I need to see the replay to make sure that there wasn’t a washboard player and a really big guy blowing into a shine jug. It's just OK to me dawg. She came off as condescending to the judges. That isn't a good sign. Brooke strikes me as a gypsy, destined to travel the hillside in search of beads. She should be able to fulfill her destiny soon. No bets.
Robyn: Brooke was in her element once again, hiding behind a musical instrument. Her vocals were incredibly weak and she was looking as old as ever. I am certain that next week, similar to Ambre from Rock of Love, we are going to find out that Brooke is 15 years older than what she initially reported to the producers.
Randy thought that Brooke sounded “aight.” Paula thinks that her performances are consistent and that she has a great ability to emotionally connect with the audience. Simon disagrees with Paula in that he thinks she had no emotion at all and that it wasn’t one of her better performances. I agree with Simon.
David Cook – ‘Little Sparrow’
Odds Before Show: +225
Bread: My pick for the winner preludes his song by giving props to Chris Cornell for using his rendition of 'Billie Jean' last week. Good call. Another stellar performance. It will be close, but I still say this is your winner.
Randy complimented his "false," which is apparently his abbreviation for falsetto. Paula, of course, also complimented his "false." At this point we're not even sure she's still alive, are we? David continually gives stronger performances than the favorite, Archuleta. I would take him at plus anything while I could.
Robyn: Not the most masculine of song choices, but sporting a new hairdo, David performed his own arrangement of a somewhat somber song. Coupled with layered harmonies, David’s vocal range has proven week after week that he absolutely has what it takes to win the entire competition.
Randy complimented David on his hot and consistent performance. *girls in the audience scream* Paula loved his haircut and thought he was fantastic. *girls scream again* Simon didn’t like his performance as much as last week but congratulated him for making a song about a sparrow sound good. *girls aren’t certain whether to boo Simon or scream for David*
Ramiele Malubay – ‘Do I Ever Cross Your Mind’
Odds Before Show: +5250
Bread: I could almost see up her skirt and that got me momentarily excited. Then she started singing and I realized that the only highlight on stage was in her hair. Randy "wasn't jumping up and down." Thank God. Ryan was just happy that he finally got to look down during an interview. If she is still here next week, I will force myself to sit through '21' again. My God what a horrible movie. A movie about Vegas and gambling. How could it go wrong?? Well it did. Very wrong.
Robyn: I will never understand why the stylists continue dressing Ramiele like a munchkin from The Wizard of Oz. I’m not certain, but I think she might have been wearing silver watering cans on her feet. Very odd.
Ramiele’s vocals are consistently boring week after week. For those of you who remember the whole Jasmine Trias scandal from Season 3, you will understand if Ramiele sticks around for another week or so. Randy thought that she was a 6½ out of a 10. Paula was proud that she was able to connect with the audience. Simon said that her performance was cute but that she was forgettable.
Jason Castro – ‘Travelin Through’
Odds Before Show: +2550
Bread: When Jason met Dolly before the show, his hair attacked her like The Swamp Thing. In all seriousness though, I think I figured out what that piece of metal in his locks is. An air freshener. His performance was blah. I've heard better at beach bars. My take? No.
Robyn: I don’t have much to say about Jason’s performance. For all I know, he is singing the same song week after week. I’m not saying that he isn’t any good, I’m just saying that he is coasting by and is going to need to do something absolutely fantastic to stick around. Jason was in the bottom three last Wednesday. I think he will be safe this week, but will be gone in another week or two. Randy liked his performance. Paula said that it was one of Jason’s strongest vocal performances. *a girl screamed “I LOVE YOU JASON!!”* Simon didn’t like the performance at all.
Carly Smithson - ‘Here You Come Again’
Odds Before Show: +1015
Bread: Carly had Carl Winslow playing guitar on the stage for her. That can only help. Her performance was awesome. Her husband, the human lizard man, agrees. I have said before that her lack of attractiveness will hurt her. Tonight, she was smiling and she actually looked a little bit cute? It's probably her cheekbones. I'm a sucker for cheekbones. Simon ridiculed her clothes. That always makes for good times. If a dark horse is to sneak in past the big 2, this is probably it. Might be worth a few wagers.
Robyn: Bread thinks that it was Carl Winslow on the stage, but I’m certain that it was Beetlejuice from Howard Stern’s show. Either way, in my opinion, I loved it.
The arrangement was very Celine Dionesque in that she was able to showcase the powerful part of her range without overdoing it. Carly has flawless vocal phrasing and quite frankly, I am a little jealous. Randy said that her performance was probably one of the better performances of the night. Paula gushes over her “glorious” voice. Simon thought it was good, not great.
David Archuleta – ‘Smoky Mountain Memories’
Odds Before Show: +100
Bread: Right before going to break, the camera showed Archuleta and Kristy Lee Cook sitting next to each other on the edge of the stage. If that stage were a talent see-saw, Cook's feet would never touch the ground. Archuleta did a good job singing Parton's 'Smokey Mountain Memories' although I think the song is better suited for Jason Castro. When asked about it, Castro said, "Huh?"
Archuleta is solid, no doubt. But he will not win.
Robyn: Walking out to an audience full of screaming tweens, David looked every bit of 17 years of age with his popped collar and spiked hair. Rumor has it David has a nasty case of the “stage dad.” I hope he is able to shake it soon.
This kid has an incredible vocal range and pleasant tone. I am 100% certain that he will make it to the Top 5, but again, he will not win the competition. Randy said that it was the best performance of the night. Paula loves his aura and his tone. Simon liked his song choice much better than last week. *girls in the audience start screaming “WE LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!”*
Kristy Lee Cook – ‘Coat of Many Colors’
Odds Before Show: +8050
Bread: Cook was wearing a curtain from the 70's, but regardless, she is still smokin’. No patriotism this week, and she sounded mediocre at best. She can thank her lucky stars that Malubay should bail her out. If we were doing Dolly's movies instead of songs, Cook would be '9 to 5,' because that's what just happened going from Archuleta to her. How fitting that on Dolly Parton night, Vanna White is in the crowd. "I'd like to buy three vowels please....an E....another E....and a triple E."
Hormones notwithstanding, Kristy Leek Cook is a huge underdog for a good reason.
Robyn: I don’t remember a thing about this performance. I think I fell asleep, as I suspected I would. Randy said, “Check it – country is your wheel house.” I have no idea what that means. Paula said that she looked stunning, which we all know by now is the kiss of death. Simon thought it was a pleasant performance, but forgettable.
Because this was “country” week, KLC is going to be safe. But not for long.
Syesha Mercado – ‘I Will Always Love You’
Odds Before Show: +2550
Bread: Robyn predicted this week that Syesha would do something with her hair, and gosh gum it, she was right!
She performed 'I Will Always Love You'. Nobody is shocked. The important thing is, I just learned that she is from Sarasota, which is a 45 minute drive from me!! YAY! I would suggest taking her in some wagers lasting longer than others. I'll explain in a minute.
Robyn: Syesha is truly a talented singer but for some reason, viewers are not connecting with her. After placing in the bottom three twice already, Syesha knows this, and it has been shaking her confidence.
Vocally, I thought her performance was excellent, but she didn’t look as comfortable as she has in the past. Perhaps it was the hair extensions. Who knows. Randy said that she took a big song and did well with out. Paula gave her the kiss of death by praising how beautiful she looked. Simon was concerned with her song choice and that she would be compared to Whitney.
Michael Johns – ‘It’s All Wrong But It’s All Right’
Odds Before Show: +885
Bread: Dressed like a 90-year-old millionaire, Johns immediately hit on Dolly. I thought he was from Australia, but I just found out he is from Buckhead, GA. I will never ever tell you my experience there, but just believe me when I tell you that it was really cold outside and I needed the ride. He is definitely good enough to make it to the Top 5.
Robyn: Looking dapper with a suit and purple ascot, Michael jammed out to a bluesy rendition of Parton’s song. He sings the lyrics “I love to turn you on” and I felt the earth shake as members of the overweight housewives club fainted in unison. Going forward, all Constantine Maroulis jokes will be used on Michael Johns as I believe that his fans are now one in the same. Randy said “good job.” Paula said that he is a rock star. Simon said that this is the best he has ever seen or heard him.
Bread’s Bets: I saw some prop bets tonight, and if the odds don't change much, I'm going to jump all over them. I'm taking Mercado and Smithson, both at (-130), to last longer than Cook and White respectively. I feel strongly about both of those. Archuleta will still be the favorite. Cook will still be my man.
Robyn’s Bottom Three:
• Syesha
• Ramiele
• Brooke
Last night saw American Idol pay tribute to Dolly Parton...well, some performers paid tribute. Bread's still smitten with Kristy Lee Cook while Robyn cues exit music for Syesha, Ramiele or Brooke.
It was Dolly Parton night. Ryan started out the evening with an April Fools Joke. Yawn.
He was wearing a metallic suit. He looked like the Tin Man. One was missing a heart. The other, a soul.
Brooke White – ‘Jolene’
Odds Before Show: +805
Bread: It appears that Brooke was playing with a band from the backwoods of Kentucky. I need to see the replay to make sure that there wasn’t a washboard player and a really big guy blowing into a shine jug. It's just OK to me dawg. She came off as condescending to the judges. That isn't a good sign. Brooke strikes me as a gypsy, destined to travel the hillside in search of beads. She should be able to fulfill her destiny soon. No bets.
Robyn: Brooke was in her element once again, hiding behind a musical instrument. Her vocals were incredibly weak and she was looking as old as ever. I am certain that next week, similar to Ambre from Rock of Love, we are going to find out that Brooke is 15 years older than what she initially reported to the producers.
Randy thought that Brooke sounded “aight.” Paula thinks that her performances are consistent and that she has a great ability to emotionally connect with the audience. Simon disagrees with Paula in that he thinks she had no emotion at all and that it wasn’t one of her better performances. I agree with Simon.
David Cook – ‘Little Sparrow’
Odds Before Show: +225
Bread: My pick for the winner preludes his song by giving props to Chris Cornell for using his rendition of 'Billie Jean' last week. Good call. Another stellar performance. It will be close, but I still say this is your winner.
Randy complimented his "false," which is apparently his abbreviation for falsetto. Paula, of course, also complimented his "false." At this point we're not even sure she's still alive, are we? David continually gives stronger performances than the favorite, Archuleta. I would take him at plus anything while I could.
Robyn: Not the most masculine of song choices, but sporting a new hairdo, David performed his own arrangement of a somewhat somber song. Coupled with layered harmonies, David’s vocal range has proven week after week that he absolutely has what it takes to win the entire competition.
Randy complimented David on his hot and consistent performance. *girls in the audience scream* Paula loved his haircut and thought he was fantastic. *girls scream again* Simon didn’t like his performance as much as last week but congratulated him for making a song about a sparrow sound good. *girls aren’t certain whether to boo Simon or scream for David*
Ramiele Malubay – ‘Do I Ever Cross Your Mind’
Odds Before Show: +5250
Bread: I could almost see up her skirt and that got me momentarily excited. Then she started singing and I realized that the only highlight on stage was in her hair. Randy "wasn't jumping up and down." Thank God. Ryan was just happy that he finally got to look down during an interview. If she is still here next week, I will force myself to sit through '21' again. My God what a horrible movie. A movie about Vegas and gambling. How could it go wrong?? Well it did. Very wrong.
Robyn: I will never understand why the stylists continue dressing Ramiele like a munchkin from The Wizard of Oz. I’m not certain, but I think she might have been wearing silver watering cans on her feet. Very odd.
Ramiele’s vocals are consistently boring week after week. For those of you who remember the whole Jasmine Trias scandal from Season 3, you will understand if Ramiele sticks around for another week or so. Randy thought that she was a 6½ out of a 10. Paula was proud that she was able to connect with the audience. Simon said that her performance was cute but that she was forgettable.
Jason Castro – ‘Travelin Through’
Odds Before Show: +2550
Bread: When Jason met Dolly before the show, his hair attacked her like The Swamp Thing. In all seriousness though, I think I figured out what that piece of metal in his locks is. An air freshener. His performance was blah. I've heard better at beach bars. My take? No.
Robyn: I don’t have much to say about Jason’s performance. For all I know, he is singing the same song week after week. I’m not saying that he isn’t any good, I’m just saying that he is coasting by and is going to need to do something absolutely fantastic to stick around. Jason was in the bottom three last Wednesday. I think he will be safe this week, but will be gone in another week or two. Randy liked his performance. Paula said that it was one of Jason’s strongest vocal performances. *a girl screamed “I LOVE YOU JASON!!”* Simon didn’t like the performance at all.
Carly Smithson - ‘Here You Come Again’
Odds Before Show: +1015
Bread: Carly had Carl Winslow playing guitar on the stage for her. That can only help. Her performance was awesome. Her husband, the human lizard man, agrees. I have said before that her lack of attractiveness will hurt her. Tonight, she was smiling and she actually looked a little bit cute? It's probably her cheekbones. I'm a sucker for cheekbones. Simon ridiculed her clothes. That always makes for good times. If a dark horse is to sneak in past the big 2, this is probably it. Might be worth a few wagers.
Robyn: Bread thinks that it was Carl Winslow on the stage, but I’m certain that it was Beetlejuice from Howard Stern’s show. Either way, in my opinion, I loved it.
The arrangement was very Celine Dionesque in that she was able to showcase the powerful part of her range without overdoing it. Carly has flawless vocal phrasing and quite frankly, I am a little jealous. Randy said that her performance was probably one of the better performances of the night. Paula gushes over her “glorious” voice. Simon thought it was good, not great.
David Archuleta – ‘Smoky Mountain Memories’
Odds Before Show: +100
Bread: Right before going to break, the camera showed Archuleta and Kristy Lee Cook sitting next to each other on the edge of the stage. If that stage were a talent see-saw, Cook's feet would never touch the ground. Archuleta did a good job singing Parton's 'Smokey Mountain Memories' although I think the song is better suited for Jason Castro. When asked about it, Castro said, "Huh?"
Archuleta is solid, no doubt. But he will not win.
Robyn: Walking out to an audience full of screaming tweens, David looked every bit of 17 years of age with his popped collar and spiked hair. Rumor has it David has a nasty case of the “stage dad.” I hope he is able to shake it soon.
This kid has an incredible vocal range and pleasant tone. I am 100% certain that he will make it to the Top 5, but again, he will not win the competition. Randy said that it was the best performance of the night. Paula loves his aura and his tone. Simon liked his song choice much better than last week. *girls in the audience start screaming “WE LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!”*
Kristy Lee Cook – ‘Coat of Many Colors’
Odds Before Show: +8050
Bread: Cook was wearing a curtain from the 70's, but regardless, she is still smokin’. No patriotism this week, and she sounded mediocre at best. She can thank her lucky stars that Malubay should bail her out. If we were doing Dolly's movies instead of songs, Cook would be '9 to 5,' because that's what just happened going from Archuleta to her. How fitting that on Dolly Parton night, Vanna White is in the crowd. "I'd like to buy three vowels please....an E....another E....and a triple E."
Hormones notwithstanding, Kristy Leek Cook is a huge underdog for a good reason.
Robyn: I don’t remember a thing about this performance. I think I fell asleep, as I suspected I would. Randy said, “Check it – country is your wheel house.” I have no idea what that means. Paula said that she looked stunning, which we all know by now is the kiss of death. Simon thought it was a pleasant performance, but forgettable.
Because this was “country” week, KLC is going to be safe. But not for long.
Syesha Mercado – ‘I Will Always Love You’
Odds Before Show: +2550
Bread: Robyn predicted this week that Syesha would do something with her hair, and gosh gum it, she was right!
She performed 'I Will Always Love You'. Nobody is shocked. The important thing is, I just learned that she is from Sarasota, which is a 45 minute drive from me!! YAY! I would suggest taking her in some wagers lasting longer than others. I'll explain in a minute.
Robyn: Syesha is truly a talented singer but for some reason, viewers are not connecting with her. After placing in the bottom three twice already, Syesha knows this, and it has been shaking her confidence.
Vocally, I thought her performance was excellent, but she didn’t look as comfortable as she has in the past. Perhaps it was the hair extensions. Who knows. Randy said that she took a big song and did well with out. Paula gave her the kiss of death by praising how beautiful she looked. Simon was concerned with her song choice and that she would be compared to Whitney.
Michael Johns – ‘It’s All Wrong But It’s All Right’
Odds Before Show: +885
Bread: Dressed like a 90-year-old millionaire, Johns immediately hit on Dolly. I thought he was from Australia, but I just found out he is from Buckhead, GA. I will never ever tell you my experience there, but just believe me when I tell you that it was really cold outside and I needed the ride. He is definitely good enough to make it to the Top 5.
Robyn: Looking dapper with a suit and purple ascot, Michael jammed out to a bluesy rendition of Parton’s song. He sings the lyrics “I love to turn you on” and I felt the earth shake as members of the overweight housewives club fainted in unison. Going forward, all Constantine Maroulis jokes will be used on Michael Johns as I believe that his fans are now one in the same. Randy said “good job.” Paula said that he is a rock star. Simon said that this is the best he has ever seen or heard him.
Bread’s Bets: I saw some prop bets tonight, and if the odds don't change much, I'm going to jump all over them. I'm taking Mercado and Smithson, both at (-130), to last longer than Cook and White respectively. I feel strongly about both of those. Archuleta will still be the favorite. Cook will still be my man.
Robyn’s Bottom Three:
• Syesha
• Ramiele
• Brooke
