Welp. I’m not so sure what to say about this one folks. Just when you think you’ve seen it all, you see a slew of youtube foot fetish videos from your head coach and his wife. Deadspin broke this “story” first with a bunch of mature foot fetish youtube videos of a chick that looks EXACTLY like Rex’s wife Michelle. And if you listen to the cameraman who’s filming her, it sounds EXACTLY like Rex Ryan. The coincidences don’t stop there, as Deadspin did a downright creepy amount of research regarding this: But the connections only begin with surface resemblances. We found “ihaveprettyfeet”‘s personal profile on a foot fetishist dating site. She lists her location as Ellicott City, Md. When Rex Ryan was an assistant coach with the Ravens, his profile on the official team city had him living with his family in Ellicott City, Md. Michelle Ryan was born in August 1963, a Virgo. “ihaveprettyfeet” lists herself as a Virgo. Michelle Ryan taught high school English before retiring to raise her kids; “ihaveprettyfeet” has a graduate degree, is married with kids, and lists herself as a homemaker. Michelle Ryan once said that, in heels, she was “a foot [shorter]” than her 6’4″ husband; “ihaveprettyfeet” lists herself as 5’2″. To be sure, there is also an Ellicott City “ihaveprettyfeet” listed on this swingers site. It’s a couple’s profile. The husband checks in at a very un-Rexlike 5’10, 180 pounds. e know “ihaveprettyfeet” is anything but shy. Still, her online activity petered out in mid-2009, around the time that Rex was entering the New York media spotlight. An attempt to lay low would explain her abrupt disappearance, as well as the two-year age discrepancy on her dating profile.
Now I didn’t go to Detective School and I never passed the Bar but I’m just gonna go ahead and say this is enough evidence for me to go ahead and pencil in Rex and his wife as the happiest goddam couple on the face of the earth. Just rubbing feet and drinking beer and acting in foot fetish pornos.This whole story is like believing in Santa Claus. Like if you want to believe it, then its true. Nobody can take that away from you. So I, for one, am going to chose to believe that Rex Ryan is a sexual tour de force and his wife is a sexy cougar who loves her feet. And I’m gonna choose to believe Rex moonlights as a homemade porn director Tuesdays through Saturdays. And I’m gonna choose to believe that every night before he goes to bed he eats a goddam snack off of a mature pair of MILF toes. Because you know what, my friends? Thats tremendous. There’s not enough of that in this world.
You know what the NFL is lacking? Black head coaches. You know what else they are lacking? Foot fetish deviant head coaches. So really in a way big Rex is just diversifying this league. If I had to guess right now Roger Goddell is probably mailing Rex a hand written thank you for his progressive ways.
PS – this is the best part of being a blogger. Of course there’s like a 0% chance this is true, or at least going to be proven true, and I can just be like “Ehhh whatever I’m a blogger just having a little fun.” Then of course on the other hand if a smut dreamworld if Rex is like “**** yea thats me! I’m a toe sucker!”
