As many of you know I am (SPOILER ALERT) single. I have decided to meet girls not in bars or at strip clubs, but at a more "refined" places. Unfortunatley, I have been to 5 places, and they were all a MAJOR bust. Here are 5 places to avoid at ALL costs if you want to meet a woman.
1. THE LIBRARY: I saw this cute librarian and was going to ask her out, when I remembered the whispering policy. As I sauntered up to the checkout counter with my copy of "Men Are From Mars, Women Like Penis", I whispered "Hey how about a date". She being of hard of hearing I guess thought I said "Hey how about we mate" Not only did she not sleep with me, but I was lead out in handcuffs.
2. A TEA PARTY RALLY: This one is more out of spite. I went with the thinking that their would be a bunch of chicks drinking Long Islands whoomping it up. Come to find out it's a bunch of people in their 80's that think Sarah Palin is the bees knees. Hey Sarah's cool and all, but the women their looked more like her husband than her.
3. PRISON: After getting arrested at the library, I asked out my cellmate who looked a lot like Lady Gaga, except not as manly. Turned out he/she wanted to turn ME out. I didn't know what that meant, but after finding out, I recommend you stay out of jail in Vegas.
4. A JUSTIN BIEBER CONCERT: This one wasn't because the girls weren't hot, it was just that they didn't have drivers lisences. I don't believe in drunk driving, so if they can't drive me to one bar after another, what good are they. Not only that, but any girl that likes a man that has a raccoon on their head passing for a haircut is dumb.
5. MY BED: I have been sleeping in it for the past year. Have not picked up or found one girl there.
If you guys have any suggestions, please share. Thank you.
1. THE LIBRARY: I saw this cute librarian and was going to ask her out, when I remembered the whispering policy. As I sauntered up to the checkout counter with my copy of "Men Are From Mars, Women Like Penis", I whispered "Hey how about a date". She being of hard of hearing I guess thought I said "Hey how about we mate" Not only did she not sleep with me, but I was lead out in handcuffs.
2. A TEA PARTY RALLY: This one is more out of spite. I went with the thinking that their would be a bunch of chicks drinking Long Islands whoomping it up. Come to find out it's a bunch of people in their 80's that think Sarah Palin is the bees knees. Hey Sarah's cool and all, but the women their looked more like her husband than her.
3. PRISON: After getting arrested at the library, I asked out my cellmate who looked a lot like Lady Gaga, except not as manly. Turned out he/she wanted to turn ME out. I didn't know what that meant, but after finding out, I recommend you stay out of jail in Vegas.
4. A JUSTIN BIEBER CONCERT: This one wasn't because the girls weren't hot, it was just that they didn't have drivers lisences. I don't believe in drunk driving, so if they can't drive me to one bar after another, what good are they. Not only that, but any girl that likes a man that has a raccoon on their head passing for a haircut is dumb.
5. MY BED: I have been sleeping in it for the past year. Have not picked up or found one girl there.
If you guys have any suggestions, please share. Thank you.
