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Dirty Old Man CFB Tailgate Memory
*Warning* Explicit and warped memories of a now middle aged man below. Read at your own risk.
In honor of the first full weekend of CFB, and more specifically Buff/UMD tomorrow, I have a memory I thought would be funny to share. I've lived in Northern VA for 25 years or so, but I am originally from WNY, so this matchup caught my eye and brought me back half a lifetime ago.
When I was 19 or 20 the girl I dated for over a year in high school graduated and went to UMD. I stayed at home in VA and commuted to GMU. She lived on campus so I'd often drive the 45 min. up on weekends for a more authentic college experience. She was a short blonde with an apple shaped ass and thick thighs from playing Soccer. I was a bigtime ass man at that point, but what really kept me in the dysfunctional relationship was she would squirt more often than not. When I was that age I had INSANE stamina and pounded her 6 times one night. Hours and hours with only a couple short breaks. At the end you'd have sworn someone dumped 5 gallons of water on the bed. Anyway, we'd naturally drink heavily and party when I visited. Being young and wild often lead to arguments that ended with either makeup sex or wandering off into the night alone and angry. One Friday night in early FB season I went up, we argued, and I slept in my car in some lot on campus. I woke up hungover, jerked off in a sock in a parking lot at like 6am since I didn't get my usual Friday night release, and called her to reconcile for the tailgate by 9am. Her cousin was alumni and had been in a frat, so he would come up for a few games each year, and always had a prime spot with his peeps. Typical booze and Cornhole matches went on for a couple hours until at some point during the festivities a very cute Asian Girl, probably a student, came by trying to recruit ppl for Youwager.com. Phones weren't today's smart phones, so really you needed to sign-up when you were at a Desktop, but she had the scratch cards they used to mail out and was handing them to ppl that wrote an email and phone # on her clipboard so the account reps could call you to beg for deposits. I was already a degen by that point, and had an account, but played dumb asking questions and flirting because I wanted to keep her around. We convinced her to drink with us and she got super sloppy, completely abandoning the job she was out there to perform. My GF knew I was scamming, and her cousin was too, so she got mad and left for the game while we stayed behind because we were "too drunk" to walk over. Young and confident, I was so sure I was going to bang this girl. She started getting very friendly, freak dancing and rubbing her ass all over a couple of us who were making a play for the close, but shortly thereafter she started puking everywhere. We found some female tailgaters nearby we thought could take care of her and son of a bitch they started making out with her. At this point it was a wrap and she passed out. One of these horny chicks was a very aggressive big girl with a bob cut who was several years older than me, but really wanted some cawk. I wasn't about it but lead her on for a bit because we were having fun and most ppl were at the game by this point, so this was the party available to us. Last thing I remember was pissing in the woods. I woke up around 6pm that evening in my GF bed at her dorm. No idea how I got there to this day or at what point we reconnected. I went to the dining hall and punished some free food on her pL meal pass before hitting it back at the dorm while her roommate "slept" in the bed next to us. I wish I could say I banged the Youwager.com girl, probably would have ended the ridiculous relationship with my GF at the time, but I still shake my head with a smile on my face when I recall the parts of that day I can remember.
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