1. 06-30-17 03:23 PM #1
    Bigbill365
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    Got a job

    Got a job now I can save money to move to Vegas. Anytips to make workday better?
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  2. 06-30-17 03:32 PM #2
    Booya711
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    Wow an adult got a job....is this really news??
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  3. 06-30-17 03:33 PM #3
    shadymcgrady
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    What do u think this forum has been for this entire time?
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  4. 06-30-17 03:33 PM #4
    biggie12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bigbill365 View Post
    Got a job now I can save money to move to Vegas. Anytips to make workday better?

    What kind of job?
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  5. 06-30-17 03:36 PM #5
    Booya711
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    Quote Originally Posted by biggie12 View Post
    What kind of job?
    more than likely begins with blow biggie...
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  6. 06-30-17 03:38 PM #6
    biggie12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Booya711 View Post
    more than likely begins with blow biggie...
    Any job begining with blow must be good, wonder who he reports too
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  7. 06-30-17 03:38 PM #7
    Booya711
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    Quote Originally Posted by biggie12 View Post
    Any job begining with blow must be good, wonder who he reports too
    JJ?
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  8. 06-30-17 03:39 PM #8
    Otters27
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    Post, exercise, eat healthy, bet day games, get good night's sleep.

    If you do this your workday should be good.
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  9. 06-30-17 03:43 PM #9
    Booya711
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    Quote Originally Posted by Otters27 View Post
    Post, exercise, eat healthy, bet day games, get good night's sleep.

    If you do this your workday should be good.

    When you having adult time with your girl....do you put ear muffs on mom??
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  10. 06-30-17 03:45 PM #10
    JMobile
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bigbill365 View Post
    Got a job now I can save money to move to Vegas. Anytips to make workday better?
    Now you can afford to be a Pro.
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  11. 06-30-17 04:23 PM #11
    BigOrange
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    JJ's Gloryhole Assistant?
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  12. 06-30-17 04:29 PM #12
    dlowilly
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    Nothing makes work go faster than hot chicks being around to flirt with
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  13. 06-30-17 05:24 PM #13
    jjgold
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    Great plan you have to go to Vegas oh my God
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  14. 06-30-17 05:32 PM #14
    gauchojake
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    Congrats Bill!
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  15. 06-30-17 06:04 PM #15
    HossWilbur
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    Assuming this is entry level office work...

    Walk in the same time the CEO does everyday, this will usually be 1.5 hours after everyone else is there and it gives off the impression you one day strive to become CEO. Imitation is a form of flattery. If you show up before the CEO, he'll expect that everyday and know when you're late. You don't want to set that precedent. You show up the same time as him, everything's peachy. Once every other week show up AFTER the CEO, this asserts your dominance over the CEO. He'll be impressed his gem of a hire knows how to get work done quicker than him. The CEO will brag about a day that he beat you to the office, the trick here is to express mutual admiration for CEO. Tell him how impressed you are with his work ethic. Immediately refer to him as Cal, in honor of Cal Ripken Jr and just like that, his attention has been diverted and he's thinking how great he is and what a wonderful nickname he's soon to be known by. The more bullshet you throw his way, the longer you can remain a lazy fukk while getting 8+ hours of sleep a night. Truly great employees can pull this trick off for 30+ years over multiple CEO's. On your final day of work before retirement, show off your legacy of a career by hanging your work chair from the ceiling with your name plate firmly taped to the seat.

    Leave the premises for lunch. Nobody can ask you for anything if you're not in the office. Also come back 15-30 minutes late. Everyday. Blame it on unforeseen traffic if asked. Inevitably, somebody will complain. -140 it's a soccer mom. You will soon be approached about the behavior in a peer pressure type setting. Remember in middle school when you ignored those Just Say No! ads? Practice makes perfect, do that here. Say yes you will be more cognizant of the time. In reality, F-that! For the next week, come back an hour late. This serves 2 purposes. First the complainer will soon be begging for you to only be 15-30 mins late. Secondly, it proves that you're your own boss and not, nor will ever be someones workplace b!tch. The day you don't set this precedent is the day you'll need to start searching for employment elsewhere.

    Leave early. Between coming in late, taking a long lunch and leaving early, it gives co workers less time during the day to find you to ask you to stay late. Odds, my friend, odds. Always play them. You already know that, you know how to play Vegas!

    Leave old piles of paper on your desk. NEVER move them, it gives off the perception you have ton of work to do. It's best if the papers are written in olde English and are not related to your job in any way. If anyone ever snoops and attempts to read them, they'll think your IQ is through the roof and will always listen to you without fail. I reckon you're no fopdoodle and are well on your way to becoming a supervisor, earning more money and can start making those Vegas plans early!

    Befriend ALL IT personnel, they see your computer usage.

    Make great use of the company's work-life balance initiative. Prior to any morning or afternoon breaks, take a pre-break, break. Don't forget the post-break, break. Added bonus if in the off chance Vegas beats you: This is a resume builder as you successfully use time wisely.

    If walking around the office, ALWAYS carry pieces of paper with you. If anyone from a different department ever stops you and brings up a work related task, you're already taking care of an urgent task at the moment. See if coworker can figure out the problem by themselves. End conversation by saying 'Bless your heart'. You've now successfully supervised someone else in a different department. Be sure to brag to the CEO about this on your daily walk in. Guess who's going to have a leg up the next time a management position opens up?

    About 6 months to a year in after a project has been assigned to you. Suggestion box this; It'd be best if you could work from home a day a week due to the same level of daily interruptions but increased workload. If they need a little extra convincing, remind them you're the Karl Malone of the office and you always deliver, citing work-life balance here should be your John Stockton to close the deal.

    ESPN beat the streak app can get you interested in more obscure leagues. Be careful about some of the early morning games/props, they may begin prior to your work day starting while you stroll in with the CEO.

    Download the poop salary app... See how much you earn a year just by going about your daily 'business'.
    Last edited by HossWilbur; 07-01-17 at 02:55 AM. Reason: To add more funnies
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  16. 06-30-17 06:09 PM #16
    funnyb25
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    Just reading post #1 this is not going to end well at all...

    At least he did get a job though....a lot cannot say that
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  17. 06-30-17 08:36 PM #17
    ChuckyTheGoat
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    one tip, quit the job
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  18. 06-30-17 10:22 PM #18
    lonegambler23
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    unreal news bill. beers on you buddy
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  19. 06-30-17 10:25 PM #19
    lonegambler23
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    dude be realistic. you need a strong base before moving anywhere. and a job to come along with it. dont think youre just gona gamble to make a living, youll be prostituting yourself on the street in no time.
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  20. 06-30-17 10:37 PM #20
    Shute
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bigbill365 View Post
    Got a job now I can save money to move to Vegas. Anytips to make workday better?
    Big bill ; awesome. Work ethic something to be admired .
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  21. 06-30-17 11:04 PM #21
    Jatt24
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    Show up HIGh and late
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  22. 06-30-17 11:12 PM #22
    Waterstpub87
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  23. 07-01-17 03:18 AM #23
    vividjohn45
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    Good nites rest most. Important thing
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  24. 07-01-17 05:00 AM #24
    jjgold
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    Stay far away from Vegas and don't make your life about gambling
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  25. 07-01-17 05:25 AM #25
    Cuse0323
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    Thought this said get a job, and my mom started posting.
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