[Slurry Pumper]

OK ya'll all season long I'll post up my pick of the week. I don't do 25 games a week with parlays and teasers and all of that crap or a player prop on a running back's odds of scoring on the skank cheerleader who just got an abortion so that she didn't get kick off the squad. Just pick 1 game ATS or Total for the final score and put enough money on it to either make the entire week a Beef and Reef eating out at fancy restaurants, or a hanging out at the soup kitchen blowing dudes to get my daily fentanyl fix with a bottle of Night Train to drown my sorrows.

This week I'm going to New York, or more precise the Meadow-lands of New Jersey to the Buffalo Bills vs those New York Jets. Gang green has a new quarterback with Aaron Rodgers, and a top notch defense that can win games all on their own, while the Buffalo Bills will be looking to shake off an end of season collapse where a player literally dropped dead on the field before they revived him. Buffalo was unable to get over that non-game and the downward spiral started there.

Anyway, I think New York will have some growing pains with Rodgers that will limit the offense, and the Bills will have a rough time with that New York D. I'm taking the Under 45.5 points in a September 11th Monday night opener where that Fireman Joe dude will have the crowd all riled up and ready to go as the Jets have high expectations this year.

[Slurry Pumper]

Well a win to start the year. I don't think Aaron made it to the introduction of starting players, and he may be done for life. It's still the Jets, they seem to be one of those teams with bad luck and bad choices that follow them everywhere.

[ex50warrior]

Nice start!

[trobin31]

Nice call Slurpy. Write ups are comical and pure gold as usual

[pavyracer]

Nice pick! Was never in doubt.

[cecil127]

Bet he’s taking all kinds of meds and using everything science has to offer at this point. Mr “inoculated” getting everything he deserves

[hehfest]

Good one Slurper. I had the under pre-game and lived it after AR-15 went down. Ironically, didn't read this post until now though. I don't bet the board either nor parlay much. I like a 10 point 3 teamer tease here and there. I got a little roughed up on Saturday with college, broke even on Sunday and then caught a good portion of it back on Monday night and with MLB included. Will check back if I agree with what you like that might be a formula for success.

[JAKEPEAVY21]

good start Plumper

[Slurry Pumper]

Thanks everyone, its always nice to start the year with a winner. BTW I failed to mention these are all going to be NFL plays this year. In the college game I really only bet my Alma Mater which is Penn State. Talk about being biased, I bet them in a martingale system every year where I start with some lunch money and depending on the year, it can get ugly pretty quick if they don't win for 5 weeks.
This week its an over reaction week, and I see allot of opportunity on the board, I almost pulled the trigger on several games, but most of those are road favorites, so I wanted to take a team that is at home, as a home dog that didn't play all that great but wants to prove they are for real. Some of you know I trade stocks for a half living, (the other half is helping people Pump Slurry, no shyt its true). Anyway, there is a saying that some of the best trades n the stock market just feel wrong when you make them, and my NFL selection is on the Jacksonville Jaguars +3.5. If you wait, this number will probably keep rising too, so you may see a +4 sometime before Sunday. Also, I base the numbers on the Draft Kings Web site for Pennsylvania even though I may not actually use them for my wager.
I gotta say that if I lose this week, while I watch my other contenders like the Chargers, Giants, or even the Bungles not only win and cover but make it look easy, its gonna make me feel like some slurry that just got power shot out of someone who had a nasty burrito.

[trobin31]

Pump it

[hehfest]

Did you add the concentrated flavoring or drink it straight?

[Slurry Pumper]

I went to the store to get that top Ramen and even that has experienced some inflation since the last time I was broke. Jacksonville had their shot late in the game, but like a little person they came up short. 1-1 now is the record.

[Slurry Pumper]

Spent the week selling myself out in the parking lot of every gay bar near Philly this week giving discount to our military veterans of course, to build up the cash to make this weeks bet. Last week was all Top Ramen and Night Train as the Jacksonville Jags kept a lid on the K.C. offense pretty well, but couldn't score. So the Record is a 1-1.

This week, I got another shaky team that I don't bet on that much because they have traditionally sucked. Yep I'm leaning Lions this week. That UAW strike will have the natives begging for a good game out of the Lions and I think they get it. Their offense should be OK against that Falcons no named D. The Falcons on the other hand will have trouble tossing the ball around as they are a runcentric oriented team. They wont be able to keep it going all game and eventually the game will get out of hand for them and the abandon run game will give way to less than stellar QB play.

When looking on the Draft Kings site here in PA, the Lions are a -3 -118, and I figured F that, I'm gonna lose a shyt ton of return for the possibility of a tie? Nope, I move it down to give the hook away to the Falcons, and took the alternate line here at -3.5 -104.

[19th Hole]

Slurrper-
Thank you for the thread...it's absolute gold.

With The Writer's Guild remaining on strike you may do some undercover
work electronically for a 3rd revenue stream. This will get you off the knee pads
doing your late night gagging gig in non-hetero metro
Philly.

However the week shakes down I wish you the best.
Onward and upward.

[ex50warrior]

Slurrper-
Thank you for the thread...it's absolute gold.

With The Writer's Guild remaining on strike you may do some undercover
work electronically for a 3rd revenue stream. This will get you off the knee pads
doing your late night gagging gig in non-hetero metro
Philly.

However the week shakes down I wish you the best.
Onward and upward.

Yep, always entertaining.

Good luck with the pick but either way I'll look forward to the recap.

[Slurry Pumper]

The lions D was able t oshut down the Falcons Offense and even though the Lions Offense didn't exactly light it up, they covered the line in a no sweat fashion on Sunday to bring home the money for me. So as this is the Jewish day of Yong Kippur, I decided to go up to Shenandoah, PA to pick up a shit load of kielbasi at Kowanlonek's.

Shenandoah is also the home of Mrs. T pierogies, so the Polish is heavy in this town.

Anyway, this kielbasi is the crack cocaine of sausage. If you go be prepared to wait in a hour long line to get that old school Soviet style bread line affect.

[Slurry Pumper]

Going on week 4 already, where the hell does this time go? Before you know it, Christmas will be here and I'll be giving out crap to the kids and some of their kids so with a 2-1 record so far this year I got some work to do. After eating kielbasi all week with some good beer like Colt 45, I would like to send a shart out to my favorite team Miami. 70 points is pretty impressive, I don't know if Denver is that bad or if Miami is that good. Makes this week's game against the Buffaloed Bills the 1st must watch game of the year for me. That's not my game of the week, because I just can't justify the numbers on that one.
My game of the week for me is on Pittsburgh. Sure Houston has been punching above their weight this year, and a beat down of Jacksonville is more of a mystery thing since Houston regularly gives the Jags a problem. Pittsburgh on the other hand took the 1st week off, then use their defense to get past the clowns before the offense showed up against the Raiders last week. I think that trend continues and the offense keeps improving while the defense shows up as usual. I'm looking for the Steelers to grind it out on the road, and bring home the victory. Its the Steelers -2.5-112 (Draftkings).
Hope everyone has a good week, and watch out for those home dogs, this is the time of year when we see teams start to play better while the high flyers get kicked down a notch. This includes Miami, I can't see how they don't come down a little bit. Other high flying teams like Dallas are already coming back to the pack. I think San Fran gets by Arizona, but 14 points is a shytload so don't be surprised when the Cards give San Fran a game. On the other hand teams that suck, tend to suck a little less like the Jets, Minnesota, Chicago, Carolina. I'm not saying they all cover, but don't be so sure about their suckyness just because they look like shyt the 1st 3 weeks.

For me its Pittsburgh -2.5-112 this week to allow me to eat that Alaskan King Crab. The season is starting and its my favorite seafood to eat along with the good beer or maybe even a Moet Chandon bottle.

[JAKEPEAVY21]

Plumper, enjoy that kielbasa

[Slurry Pumper]

The Steelers let me down last week, which puts the record at 2-2 and instead of pounding down Alaskian King crab with champagne and hookers, I was getting pounded jackhammer style and eating left over day old sushi out of the dumpster for the last week behind a Wawa on Main street here in the little PA town I live in. All in all I'm 2-2 on the year so, it isn't like I'm at the point of no return working the glory hole at the local porn shop, but I do need to start stringing together a few wins here to carry me into the holidaze. This week, I like the New Orleans Ain'ts vs those New England Former Patriots but now considered white oppressors to go under the 39 point total. I don't expect New Orleans to put up more than 15 points, and New England might get to 17 if they are lucky so I see it as a 32 point game and that's enough to make it my game of the week. Extend the easy chair into sleep mode and waste the Sunday away while allot of nothing happens in this game.

[Poker_Beast]

Good luck Slurry!

[Slurry Pumper]

N.O. came through last week in not allowing the Pat's to score a garbage touchdown which allows me to eat that clam chowder this week although I prefer the Manhattan style better.
I'm trying to find this week's play today, and possibly a new streak of winning to get some bankroll separation.

[Slurry Pumper]

3-2 at the quarter pole of the season isn't that bad, but its not time for cake and sodomy just yet. Plenty of the season is ahead and that means allot of studying during the sessions of having some tiny little Cambodian woman clip my toe nails. Anyway, this week I'm taking those Indianapolis Colts going up against those Jacksonville Jagoffs. The Jags are off a successful trip to London where they went 2 - 0 against a Atlanta team they should beat anywhere, and a Buffalo team that slept walked through the 1st 3 quarters of the game. To start the year Indy play the jags pretty tough well into the 4th quarter before the wheels fell of the bus and a few quick TDs in about a minute finished them off. Now their new QB is hurt and they have turned to Bluechew, who finished the game strong and was able to rise to the occasion for the Colts in a studly performance that Peter North would be proud of if he were a football player. Anyway, Bluechew used to be the QB for the Jagoffs before they got the Lawrence dude. Not quite sure how to spell the name. Ever since they showed the road to the Chew, he has had his eye on a little revenge. I think this week he gets it, as this is a bad spot for the Jagoffs.
I'm on the Colts getting +4 big points to boot. Also gonna put some on the Money line for good measure.

[Slurry Pumper]

Well that was pretty ugly and this morning old Bluechew toss another interception while giving out treats to his dog, as the neighbor's hounds ran off with the milk bones. Speaking of milk bones, that is my fate this week as I have to go out and raise money working the glory hole at the local truck stop.

[Da Manster!]

Well that was pretty ugly and this morning old Bluechew toss another interception while giving out treats to his dog, as the neighbor's hounds ran off with the milk bones. Speaking of milk bones, that is my fate this week as I have to go out and raise money working the glory hole at the local truck stop.

I'm right there with ya Slurry! $0.25 Ramen noodles for us this week brother! and maybe some cheese whiz and crackers if we are lucky enough to scrape up some loose change from our sofa and car seats!...but yeah, moral of the story being NEVER trust a starting backup QB that is sportin' a 1970's porn moustache!

[BOA12]

I'm right there with ya Slurry! $0.25 Ramen noodles for us this week brother! and maybe some cheese whiz and crackers if we are lucky enough to scrape up some loose change from our sofa and car seats!...but yeah, moral of the story being NEVER trust a starting backup QB that is sportin' a 1970's porn moustache!

Dollar store loaf of bread for $1.25 and peanut butter is any gamblers best friend.

[Da Manster!]

Dollar store loaf of bread for $1.25 and peanut butter is any gamblers best friend.

and don't forget to pick up a dollar jar of strawberry preserves while we are at it and call it a day!

[Slurry Pumper]

OK landing right back at 3-3 last week means this week is going to be a winner of course.

This week after hustling in the streets for every dime I could find, I'm going with the OVER 51.5 -110 (DraftKings) in the MIA / PHI game. At least 1 of these teams is getting to 30 here, and all I need is the other team to put up 21, and I'm back to dating hookers instead of being a hooker.
Miami's lowest output this year was when they went up to Buffalo who were in a pretty desperate spot. I suspect Miami will learn from this experience and at least be able to Match what the Jets put up last week against the Eagles. Also if you have been watching the Flipper boys the last couple of games with the Giants and Panthers, they haven't exactly been stout on D, or careful with the ball. This has led to quick cheapy scores for crappy teams.
For the Eagles part, they have significant injuries in the defensive backfield which is not good when going against the NFL's #1 offense. If Philly is going to stop the Dolphins O, they will need to get to the Tua. On the offensive side, they know they can't be F-ing around. Add it up and someone gets to 30 here. I'm pretty confident the loser will get to 21.

[OldBill]

love your avatar i think of it as trump lol

[DrunkHorseplayer]

This looks pretty good. Miami has played two teams that aren't garbage and given up 34 and 48 points, they're giving up an average of 31 ppg even including the dregs of the league and now they're playing one of the elite teams; Philly might get 51 on their own.

[OldBill]

ummm drunk horseplayer eagles are not an elite team favored over miami M L miami +136 ty

[Slurry Pumper]

Kind of dripping blood out of my ass a little bit this week, as I witnessed Phi and Mia just play pretty decent D against one another, and in the end Philly still had a 1st down just 6 yards away from pay day. That's the way it goes I guess, and now my record has gone negative to 3-4 so the work is cut out for me if I'm going to give those bastard kids something at all for Christmas.

This week, I'm going with a team I totally hate to play with Dallas. It seems like they pull out a F you game every time I back them from the get go. This game will either be a rocking chair nap time, or a WTF was I thinking affair early when I realize they are pounding me with a Texas Longhorn. So its Dallas -6.5 -112, and as always I use the DraftKings line here.

[trobin31]

Keep sukin n fawkin slurry you will bust one soon

[Slurry Pumper]

At least I still have the Stock Market going for me.

[OldBill]

Spent the week selling myself out in the parking lot of every gay bar near Philly no you took it in the butt lol i live in philly btw

lots of you know who walking around years ago a gay fawk dressed as woman paid me to suck me off swalloed like a champ actually better than some street walker fem ale C ***S

[Da Manster!]

Spent the week selling myself out in the parking lot of every gay bar near Philly no you took it in the butt lol i live in philly btw

lots of you know who walking around years ago a gay fawk dressed as woman paid me to suck me off swalloed like a champ actually better than some street walker fem ale C ***S