[Dad]

Late 30's hoe I met at a bar. I was coming home from work and felt like stopping for a Guiness. Place was empty, bitch comes in, asks me for a light and we start making out without any more words. It was like this,
Her: "Got a light?"
Me: "No"
Both: Make out
Me: "So are you ready to go?"
Her: "Yeah"

The whole thing (from her entering the bar to me saying bye, have a nice life) took about an hour. The next day I was reminiscing and realized I didn't even get her name, but then I remember she told me to write her # so I asked what her name was. Didn't want to put her under "Random broad I ****** within an hour of meeting", too long.

What took you so long to seal the deal?

[Cheme82]

I thought it was a prank. I actually got spooked because when we were walking outside I was walking her to her truck, she had a big-ass Ford F-150 or something like that. And the lights inside the cabin lit up and the truck's engine started. I was like "Oh ****, this bitch is about to kidnap me and take my organs or some shit like that". But it turns out she had remote start on her truck.

[bradthebloke]

I was 18 and she was 14. Good times.

go ahead and take a seat..... right over there. so what are you doing here?

[A.M.S.]

ex gf mom ...... i was 28 she was 55 ..... i was still friends with the family after we broke up.

[MC PICKS]

Longest age difference was 16 years, i was 22 she was 38 and her husband was in jail. We both got shitfaced at our company christmas party and i nailed her in a room at the hotel where the party was at. Oldest ever was 43 when i was 29, again shitfaced in a hotel room.

[AraiWa]

Hmmm...let's see, I was 19, she was 15...oops.

I was 20 and met some lady who was 29, she sucked me off and I made her *** on my face.

In the same apartment complex, I was 20 and nailed a 39 year-old.

Just recently, I was 48 and my Goomah was 24. Nice...

I'm 50, the wife is 35 been together since she was 20.

So 39 was the oldest. Even now, most of the time I would never think about banging a 39 year-old chick unless she was absolutely smoking. Why should I? Here it's easy to nail one 25 or 30 years old and no one gives it a second thought.

[thezbar]

70. Great finish with no teeth!

[downsouth]

19 and 76, Was doing some community service work at the nursing home after being busted for minor in possesion. This one particular old bitty, Gertrude was her name I believe but everyone called her old Gerty. Gerty had been busting my balls all week, always asking me to do shit like move furniture, pick stuff up for her, and run stupid little errands. When it finally got to Friday (my last day) Gerty asked me if I would be coming back, I told her no and she told me to come by her room before I left. I figured she was going to give me a little cash tip or something as a few of my buddies who were regulars on the community service scene told me every once in a while they would get a tip from one of the old broads. Plus i was a broke college kid so of course I could use a little extra beer money.

I show up at Gerty's room and she is sitting in a chair, she picks a bag off table next to her and tells me to shut the door(again thinking this old broad is going to hand me 10 bucks or so). As soon as door shuts, what I thought was this older frail women pounced out of her chair and pushed me over onto her bed. I swear I thought she could barely walk but now she moved faster than a cheetah. Before I knew it I was laying down with my shorts around my ankle. She took a quick second to take her teeth out and she went to work. It was probalby less than 3 minutes before I released a monster load down the back of old Gerty's throat. Shocked and embarrassed I was ready to leave, but Gert wasnt ready for me to go. She reclined the tempur-pedic up and pulled out a tube of preparation H. Again, before I could say a word she had used the prep H to lube up my rooster and was riding it anal with such force I thought she was going to hurt herself. I have never railed a chicks ass so hard as old Gerty. I railed Gerty so hard her wig began to slide forward Gerty moaned and screamed and a few times I was wondering whether she was enjoying it or having a stroke/heart attack as her moans sounded like helen keller, it was the most beautiful/awful thing I have ever heard.
I finally released on old gerts saggy, wrinkly ass and left her in a sweaty pile. I quickly dressed as I obviously didnt wanna talk to her but right when I was about to hit the door she said, "one more thing, could you throw me a depends out of the closet".

[AraiWa]

70. Great finish with no teeth!

I have had the pleasure of banging two girls who only had like 3 fingers on one hand! One was in the US and the other was in Thailand. The one in Thailand never showed me her hand and one day when I was banging her I said, "C'mon, what's the problem, what, are you missing your hand or something?" Sure enough she only had 3 fingers. Felt like shit for a minute.

A while back while in Cambodia I fell in lust with some bar slut. I was thinking of taking her back but she always sat on my right and I didn't see her right arm. Thing is, she only had like half an arm. When I saw that I was sorta turned off (I like em somewhat perfect, although slutty) and told her I was really tired and needed to go back to my hotel. She knew what was up.

[ProfitBettingSov]

go ahead and take a seat..... right over there. so what are you doing here?

Banging hoes left right center

[chipper]

When I was 19 I had a 30 year old and thought I was the shit for nailing an "old broad"... sad thing that this was 30 years ago and now I'd love to bang a 30 year old who I'd consider to be just a kid. Funny how your perspective can change with a few years!

[downsouth]

When I was 19 I had a 30 year old and thought I was the shit for nailing an "old broad"... sad thing that this was 30 years ago and now I'd love to bang a 30 year old who I'd consider to be just a kid. Funny how your perspective can change with a few years!

Life has odd sense of humor

[wtt0315]

yes i remember when i use to try to hook up with their daughters, then i was trying to hook up with moms, and now its grandmothers

[wtt0315]

like they say
one day they ask me how things are and now they ask me how things were

[Jerm3462]

Bitches over 25 repulse me

[newbottles]

17...i peaked early

[JMobile]

36 when I was 19. We met at work, you know how that goes. She paid for all my food and hotels. She couldn't use her CC cuz husband would find out. Relationship lasted for 7 months and then I proceed to the next one.

[statnerds]

ur mom

[TRE1968]

ur mom

[clynnm17]

i was 25 met this 42 year old with huge huge like 42 ddd breasts. she loved me. let me do whatever to me. she would get on top and just go to town! i need to find me another regular one on the side