My wife is leaving me, I'm crushed

[Willie Bee]

My wife says that I can find a better woman than her but my whole life is wrapped up with her, it will hard to go on without her.

Wait a minute, she told you that you COULD find a better woman than her? Seriously, she said that? That would set off alarms if my wife said that to me. Get a lawyer and beat your wife to the filing down at the courthouse. I'd bet a dollar to a doughnut that 99% of the women out there, if they said there were women better than them it would signal they're up to something. Hate to be cold and callous like this, but protect yourself in this deal; your heart will mend.

[jjgold]

In most cases if you do not get buried with alimony and child support when a woman leaves you it should be the happiest day of your life.

[buztah]

Sometimes life can kick you in the ballz.

My favorite quote "This too shall pass"

Comes in handy from time to time to keep me sane.

Slick, so spooky you mentioned that as I just quoted it to my wife as we've been going through some difficult times.

Fearless, sorry to hear about this but better it end now than 20 years form now. The earlier you id it isn't right the better you will be long term.

All the best.

[BadNina]

Ready for a female view?

If she has claimed all along that she wants children and that it would be a deal breaker, that means she has a need inside her for them. And if you try to deny her that, she will resent you for it.

[picantel]

Kids are way too expensive and secondly it is not a world for children and ultimately children is what cause your divorce.

Pal when you become single you will never get married again, most men hate marriage.

Listen to Fighting Illini

Listen to JJ. It is much better to sit at home all alone with a gambling problem while banging ugly tranny hookers and posting 500 threads a day

[HedgeHog]

Ready for a female view?

If she has claimed all along that she wants children and that it would be a deal breaker, that means she has a need inside her for them. And if you try to deny her that, she will resent you for it.

On the other hand, if he caves on his principles and impregnates her, he'll be the one resentful. If Fearless is open to adoption, then there's your compromise--and a great one at that. It's Win-Win-Win (him, her and the child).

[Thor4140]

I understand what you're saying but I made up my mind about not having kids a long time before I met my wife. I haven't changed my mind and in fact I'm more sure about it now than before. I did tell her that we could adopt but she wants her own baby.

[Thor4140]

Kids are way too expensive and secondly it is not a world for children and ultimately children is what cause your divorce.

Pal when you become single you will never get married again, most men hate marriage.

Listen to Fighting Illini

College tuition, diapers and clothes, weddings etc. I dodge that fuking bullet and now answer to nobody. I think this guy might be a tad gay and this might be part of the problem. We will be reading a post three years from now about child support when his old lady leaves him. If she is already threatening him now she aint all the sudden gonna fall back in love after having a kid. Only guys saying to have kids are the guys who's lives are over because they had them. Kinda like that one guy who tells ya how great getting married is. lol

[swede96]

I know I'm weighing in late, but...

Your wife will NEVER agree not to have children, but I'm sure you know that. Even IF she agrees to adopt, she'll never be happy with it. She'll resent you. If you truly do not want children, don't agree to have them just for her. That is the worst thing you can do for all involved. Sure, you might change your mind when you see that little face, but you might not. So, you'll be stuck with a child you never wanted all in an attempt to keep your wife who willl have NO time for you once the baby arrives. Babies strain even the strongest relationships, not repair them. I know you think she's your world, but you may need to face the fact that she may not be "the one" for you.

Fearless, I am VERY concerned about the statement she made about you being able to do better. I used that line once...when I had fallen out of love with my boyfriend and I knew he was still in love with me. Then she gives you an ultimatum? No good, dude. I think you should seek counseling in these next few months...either together or separately to try to sort out what you really want out of life. It seems you have very different hopes and dreams.

One more thing to consider: What if you give in and get her pregnant, then the baby comes and she wants more? Obviously, you've already compromised your feelings to have one. She'll have the whole "but we already have one...and don't you love your child?!" argument....PLUS, a kid to hold over your head if she threatens to leave again.

I like you, fearless, I hate to see people I like be manipulated. I don't know your wife, but from what you've written here, it seems she's got you by the balls, she knows it....and she's going to use it to her advantage.

[Sledge187]

Have you thought about holding a SBR "Impregnate My Wife" contest? Think about it, you could still not have kids but your wife could have one. We could turn this into a reality tv show or some kind of web show. The best capper would win the shot with your wife. Random SBR moderators would be the judges. Not only that but you could collect child support from the proud papa. I can not compete because I'm married with two kids but I bet alot of SBR people would like to compete. Let me know if you want me to organize this for you.

PS- Please post pic of you wife because this could determine the number of entries.

[MJFtheGenius]

this fearless guy is one fuked up person

good luck spending the rest of your life by your self guy

[DarkLord_Rathi]

Let me break it down for you man. 9 times out of 10 most women are worthless. They want nothing but money and control. If it has gotten bad enough where you have to come online and spill your guts. Cut your losses and move on. Trust me there is that one girl for you. I found her and if I can you sure and the hell can too.

Got divorced on the 28th remarried on the 11th. Isn't love grand!!!

[seaborneq]

Fearless. Please, please don't have children if you do not want them. That is one of the most dangerous things that has happened to the world as a whole. People who can have children and are not equipped are having babies as litters, and those who want children and cannot are not enough. I don't want to get religious on you, but as I heard a co worker tell me a little while back. "God, please give children to the ones that want them, because I don't want anymore of them". I thought that made so much sense to me at the time. Basically, my advice to you is don't have any children if you don't want them. Children are about sacrifice, love, time, and oh so many things that you do not believe in. I have a 16 month old, and I want more, but my wife does not. I have to live with that. She does not want anymore children. I do. You do not want any children, stand by your guns. Let your wife go and find someone who is evenly yoked with you as far as no kids, it will be the second best thing to ever happen to you. The first is not pushing the issue on this, and letting go.

[Dark Horse]

I just talked this over with my wife and I've had a sudden and inexplicable change of heart. She helped me to see some different aspects of this issue, you all have have helped to see this in a different light. I probably had to hit rock bottom in order to see what was really facing me.

She agrees with me right down the line about what's important about having a child and what needs to be done.

She's given me three months to decide and I'm thinking I'm probably gonna change my mind.

This isn't over but I'm feeling much better about it.

Thank you everyone from the bottom of my heart. You've helped me when I needed help most and that's what friends do! Awesome!

Good for you that you can be flexible about big things.

[Dark Horse]

Wait a minute, she told you that you COULD find a better woman than her? Seriously, she said that? That would set off alarms if my wife said that to me. Get a lawyer and beat your wife to the filing down at the courthouse. I'd bet a dollar to a doughnut that 99% of the women out there, if they said there were women better than them it would signal they're up to something. Hate to be cold and callous like this, but protect yourself in this deal; your heart will mend.

You can't say that without knowing the context. Maybe your wife wouldn't say that but there are plenty of wives who would, when the possibility of divorce is being discussed. I could easily see something like this being said in a 'we can still be friends' context.

[fearless]

This is the hardest decision I've ever had to make and everybody here is coming to my aid just when I need it most. I'm overwhelmed. You are really great people!

I've got three months to make my final decision and it's only fair for me to let everybody know what it is when it's made.

I'm listening to everyone's opinions and taking them into careful consideration. You're all helping me tremendously. I can't thank you all enough.

[TeamPlayer]

Don't give in!

Once you give in and have a child, there is NO turning back! Your wife will OWN you forever! Any time you both have an argument, she'll threaten to divorce you and take 50% of your money for the rest of your life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Look....you can leave her and always have a child later in life with another women if you honestly want one. At least that way you still have a choice. That way you still are the decision maker. Don't give in!

Never forget that women are the most ruthless creatures and will happily ruin your life in order to get what they want

[fearless]

'we can still be friends' context.

You hit it on the head, she is adamant about us being good friends if we get divorced.

Getting back to gambling, will you have one of those stellar analyses of tonight's refs Mr. Ref Expert?

[HedgeHog]

You hit it on the head, she is adamant about us being good friends if we get divorced.

Getting back to gambling, will you have one of those stellar analyses of tonight's refs Mr. Ref Expert?

Marriage is about compromise. If this relationship is meant to be, you two can reach an agreement.

[fearless]

Marriage is about compromise. If this relationship is meant to be, you two can reach an agreement.

I'm leaning towards changing my mind. I want to repeat this post so everyone who's given me great advice will read it, I hope:

This is the hardest decision I've ever had to make and everybody here is coming to my aid just when I need it most. I'm overwhelmed. You are really great people!

I've got three months to make my final decision and it's only fair for me to let everybody know what it is when it's made.

I'm listening to everyone's opinions and taking them into careful consideration. You're all helping me tremendously. I can't thank you all enough.

[jjgold]

Fearless who are you on tonight?

[fearless]

Fearless who are you on tonight?

Lakers moneyline, it's the last leg of a two team parlay.

[capitalist pig]

I went through the same thing 20 + years ago wife my wife. Eventually we agreed to have a kid, and it worked out fine for us. Not that it was always easy, its going to be a social and financial burden, and there is no getting around that.Our son is now 23 and is a great young man. Having said all that, I got fixed right after he was born, one kid was enough for me, JMO.

later

[SexyMit]

Wait a minute, she told you that you COULD find a better woman than her? Seriously, she said that? That would set off alarms if my wife said that to me. Get a lawyer and beat your wife to the filing down at the courthouse. I'd bet a dollar to a doughnut that 99% of the women out there, if they said there were women better than them it would signal they're up to something. Hate to be cold and callous like this, but protect yourself in this deal; your heart will mend.

I agree with Willie, she has to be up to something or she would not have said that....

[TeamPlayer]

Remember also that your wife will probably gain 50 pounds after having a child. You won't even want sex anymore. And then all your money will be tied up forever so you won't even be able to afford hookers

[NickPappagiorgio]

Id consider myself lucky if I were in your shoes. She could have very easily gotten pregnant without you knowing and then your stuck with a kid you dont want. Instead, shes leaving and starting over. Seems like a standup gal.

m

[TeamPlayer]

Id consider myself lucky if I were in your shoes. She could have very easily gotten pregnant without you knowing and then your stuck with a kid you dont want. Instead, shes leaving and starting over. Seems like a standup gal.

m

You have a point Nick if you are purposely judging women by the lowest of ethical standards. I can't argue with you there

[fearless]

Id consider myself lucky if I were in your shoes. She could have very easily gotten pregnant without you knowing and then your stuck with a kid you dont want. Instead, shes leaving and starting over. Seems like a standup gal.

m

She is a standup gal, she's fantastic, I adore her with all my heart.

[NickPappagiorgio]

You have a point Nick if you are purposely judging women by the lowest of ethical standards. I can't argue with you there

I may be jaded a bit, but I have seen many occassions where a woman wants children so badly she "allows" herself to get pregnant.

[fearless]

I don't want this thread to get carried into the gutter. This is my personal life on display here.

Let's get back to gambling.

[flyingillini]

Kids are way too expensive and secondly it is not a world for children and ultimately children is what cause your divorce.

Pal when you become single you will never get married again, most men hate marriage.

Listen to Fighting Illini

Couldn't of said it better. No way in hell, kids would destroy everything. Not for me.

[purecarnagge]

when in doubt fearless clean out every bank account financial investment you have access to. I know its tacky but she's going to do it to you if you don't do it to her.

It will help pay the legal fee's. Divorces are lawyers only friends.

Also, is having a kid really that bad. You get to bang your wife for as long as it takes to get this little kid to pop out. If banging your wife this much is a bad thing then you need to start at the beginning of this post and leave this part out.

Why should you have a change of heart, if you can do better, do better.