The No-Sarcasm-Allowed, "What Do You Do For a Living?" thread

konck · 12-08-09, 08:04 PM

Manage a casino in MS

Matt Rain · 12-08-09, 08:06 PM

Slacker-in-chief at my own corporation

GELATINOUS CUBE · 12-08-09, 08:10 PM

I'm an internet detective. I catch weed dealers, fraudsters, kiddy smut peddlers, everybody. Then I work part time as an illegal gardener stealing hide-a-keys.

DrStale · 12-08-09, 10:12 PM

Non-Profit/Youth Coordinator

flyingillini · 12-08-09, 10:43 PM

I own two and soon to be three group homes in the community. I also run a SLS ( supported living service ) program for adults with Asperger syndrome. It is my life, I am working non stop but it is well worth it. I am doing exactly what I want to do with my life. One group home houses Teen boys that have been abuses. Another hours Adults with severe disabilities and my new one is going to house teen girls that have been abused. Orale guey!

pico · 12-08-09, 10:46 PM

highclass bookie

empty · 12-08-09, 10:49 PM

For those of you that have been to a california casino. I work for the "corporation".

GETMONEYKID · 12-08-09, 10:50 PM

wash cars and sue my neighbors

goldengoat · 12-08-09, 10:57 PM

goat herder

xxdjstriderxx · 12-09-09, 12:03 AM

Originally posted by pavyracer

I am the supervisor at a sports gambling forum where my duties include overseeing other paid posters, managing monthly quotas for their ghost accounts, come up with the ghost names, create soap opera type stories to keep the forum busy, report to the owners about the paid posters performance, make sure to keep the paid poster budget under control, defend paid posters if they get attacked by other posters, etc..

Ced's shadow · 12-09-09, 12:05 AM

Food technologist working at a book in CS, I get to be the official fridge inspector during night time

wtf · 12-09-09, 02:33 AM

without fail since i been here someone starts this thread every month, like a bad re-run

StraitShooter · 12-09-09, 02:46 AM

Originally posted by urge2kill

I haven't worked in nearly 2 years. My unemployment will last a few more months, and by then my plants will be ready to harvest and I'll sell weed.

Capybara · 12-09-09, 02:52 AM

Originally posted by wtf

without fail since i been here someone starts this thread every month, like a bad re-run

LOL, I've been here as long as you, WTF, I must have missed those!

Anyway, I love threads where we can actually learn something about our fellow posters... what they do, what they're about, whatever... But I knew it was gonna be a major challenge to get straight answers. Was doing okay for a while, but like I figured, it pretty much devolved into the usual joke-fest!

Ced's shadow · 12-09-09, 02:54 AM

Originally posted by Capybara

LOL, I've been here as long as you, WTF, I must have missed those!

Anyway, I love threads where we can actually learn something about our fellow posters... what they do, what they're about, whatever... But I knew it was gonna be a major challenge to get straight answers. Was doing okay for a while, but like I figured, it pretty much devolved into the usual joke-fest!

Capybara · 12-09-09, 02:56 AM

Originally posted by Ced's shadow

Is that a clap of approval for the thread, Ced? Can't tell.

WillC · 12-09-09, 02:58 AM

I'm a porn star. I'll be past my best soon so have to find a new job.

Ced's shadow · 12-09-09, 03:00 AM

Originally posted by Capybara

Is that a clap of approval for the thread, Ced? Can't tell.

For both things sir, for the thread as well as for your opinion on trying to know a little bit more about the posters that get around here and therefore supporting the idea of a community. Another clap for you Capy

Capybara · 12-09-09, 03:02 AM

Originally posted by Ced's shadow

For both things sir, for the thread as well as for your opinion on trying to know a little bit more about the posters that get around here and therefore supporting the idea of a community. Another clap for you Capy

Why thank you, sir.

Ced's shadow · 12-09-09, 03:05 AM

Originally posted by Capybara

Why thank you, sir.

NP sir

Nickelicious · 12-09-09, 03:35 AM

I am a professional artist, graphic designer and writer, a serious underground comic book historian and collector (my avatar is an underground comic book), and a semi-professional gambler who has wagered about $400,000 in the past year (losing just a bit of money due to my own stupidity and lack of discipline).

In the next 30 years, I hope to build my long-term financial security through writing, gambling (believe it or not) and various entrepreneurial ventures, including website development and sports agency marketing.

Bread · 12-09-09, 07:31 AM

Stress tester at the local dildo factory!

Oh wait, NO sarcasm! I'm sorry.

I own a spoke factory.

Swinging Johnson · 12-09-09, 08:44 AM

What's a spoke factory? Is that like the guy who owns the company that makes the little plastic things on the end of your shoelaces? How do you come to own a spoke factory? When Schwinn makes their bikes they have all these machines to manufacture the frame, the bars, the pedals, even the tires and the rims....but wait a minute, we've spent enough on capital equipment, we're gonna contract out the spokes!

illmatick · 12-09-09, 08:45 AM

sell exotic birds, as well as indica/ sativa hybrid

Swinging Johnson · 12-09-09, 08:49 AM

I don't know why anyone would want to dilute the majesty of an indica or the refined elegance of the satvia. They are exotic creatures, natural and unblemished by human hands. Why must you play God illmatick? Why I ask you!

trixtrix · 12-09-09, 09:23 AM

number-cruncher, data-miner, mma-theologist

illmatick · 12-09-09, 11:38 AM

Johnson I will sell you a hyacinth macaw right now

Swinging Johnson · 12-09-09, 01:17 PM

You dare not transport such a creature you heathen. I shall break into your clandestine location with my band of bird brothers and free them all. You are a diabolical despot whose kingdom is full of little colorful bird slaves, catering to your every whim. I shall free them of your tyranny I promise you that! Pardon the parrots Illmatick....let them go!

tmorton · 12-09-09, 01:34 PM

emoney... That must be an awesome job! Do you have any fun contests at your work?

WINGZ · 12-09-09, 01:57 PM

Casino Dealer

Capybara · 12-09-09, 02:55 PM

Swinging Johnson, you're on fire today! Very funny posts, my man.

I can't believe that three pages in, not one person commented on my stand-up comedy past/Dane Cook story.

Razz_Donkey · 12-09-09, 03:04 PM

Ok, I know this isn't an accepted profession, but I have derived a portion of my income from poker for the past few years (mostly private home games). Other than that I've worked construction, photography, and used to run a small ebay business, and even worked for a local bookie at one point. Sports betting has not provided an income for me, its just a hobby.

Capybara · 12-09-09, 03:08 PM

Originally posted by Razz_Donkey

Ok, I know this isn't an accepted profession, but I have derived a portion of my income from poker for the past few years (mostly private home games). Other than that I've worked construction, photography, and used to run a small ebay business, and even worked for a local bookie at one point. Sports betting has not provided an income for me, its just a hobby.

Solid post, Razz... Every honest post in here gets my kudos.

Razz, did you see The Road yet? Or was that tonight?

GELATINOUS CUBE · 12-09-09, 03:12 PM

You can't really prohibit people from stating pro gambler on a hard core professional gambling site... I imagine a lot of us are like, well. Then we can't be sarcastic either...
Ok, Large Bet Placer since '07
Part time... whatever. I've been out of school for 10 years and haven't found a real job to be honest with you guys.
Flying Illini, you are a pretty cool guy! That's awesome you do that.

compaqDikk · 12-09-09, 03:16 PM

i am a certified Deacon at Houston 2nd Baptist and reside in a casita in River Oaks