The No-Sarcasm-Allowed, "What Do You Do For a Living?" thread

[Capybara]

I know it's a miniscule percentage of threads in here that aren't rife with sarcasm, but I am legitimately curious about this topic... occupation tells a lot about someone.

So can we give it a go? Let's learn a little about our SBR brothers and sisters.

Acceptable answers for this thread include, for instance,
-I'm a software engineer at a design firm.
-I'm a welder.
-I'm a retired fireman.
-I'm an admissions officer at a college.

Unacceptable answers for this thread include:
-I makes me some MONEY, yo.
-Professional gambler
-Full-time poster and whack-off champion
-Gangster/Gangsta/Mafioso

I'll start. I'm a presently unemployed copy editor/writer, mostly in advertising/marketing. I also did stand-up comedy for a while in my area (100% true), and my one claim to fame is that I made the final two in a comedy contest, which I lost to Dane Cook, he of major films with hot chicks. He is therefore now my nemesis. He was nice though, actually.

[Deuce]

Gambler/Student

[poker_dummy101]

online poker

[Richkas]

gambler/hustler

[betplom]

Tire shop employee.

[Capybara]

Estimated present rate of sarcasm for this thread: 40%. I guess that's not horrible for SBR.

[MexicanStallion]

I'm a student.

[urge2kill]

I haven't worked in nearly 2 years. My unemployment will last a few more months, and by then my plants will be ready to harvest and I'll sell weed.

[sickler]

edit

[lyon804]

Insurance Agent

[mcbaseball10]

Small business owner/Roofing contractor. Work is terrible right now, so I am making money playing poker online to help pay the bills.

[cappinthepigs]

Shipping & Receiving Manager Printing Company

[paco]

I Valet at a Private Club and own my own Carwash in Downtown Detroit

[BGS 9.5]

CPA

[poker_dummy101]

Estimated present rate of sarcasm for this thread: 40%. I guess that's not horrible for SBR.

mine was truthful

[wal66]

Mosquito killing Turd Herder.

Municiple employee. Run the Water and Sewer department as well as Mosquito Director.

[EXhoosier10]

student - soon to be actuary

[Capybara]

Estimated present rate of sarcasm for this thread: 14%. -- Stunning! Let's keep it up! I want to give you all a big hug right now.

[Capybara]

edit

What kind of editing, Sickler?

[cappinthepigs]

Mosquito killing Turd Herder.

Municiple employee. Run the Water and Sewer department as well as Mosquito Director.

WAL you should advance your career and move to my town and take over. We are the Mosquito Capital of the world!! Stuttgart, Arkansas. Town on flat land surrounded by rice fields, you do the math!

[Capybara]

mine was truthful

PD, you play online poker "for a living"?? So you win so much that you fully support yourself, i.e., you afford rent, heat, electricity, car, cable, phone, etc.? Come on, Bro, we're not idiots. If you are a student and have few expenses, then fine, just say Student.

[AMBlai01]

I am a Latex Importer/Exporter

[keyboarding]

I haven't worked in nearly 2 years. My unemployment will last a few more months, and by then my plants will be ready to harvest and I'll sell weed.

[Steeve]

I was a Six Sigma Black Belt until June of this year. Then my contract got cancelled and I got laid off. Since then, even though you don't want to hear it, I am trying to make a living with my gambling.

[poker_dummy101]

Why be truthful if the truth bothers you?

I work as a porn star then. Happy now?

[emoney]

I manually masturbate caged animals for artificial insemination.

It is important to have a job with meaning.

And it pays pretty well too.

[betplom]

I am a Latex Importer/Exporter

While its not my occupation I am a heavy latex user.

[koby25]

I guess I can't tell you since it's unacceptable but it's the truth. I have plenty of money but you don't wanna hear it.

[themajormt]

Project Manager for Research and Development

[Capybara]

I guess I can't tell you since it's unacceptable but it's the truth. I have plenty of money but you don't wanna hear it.

I never said the truth was unacceptable! Write the truth, whatever it is. If it sounds legit to me, then good for you. If it sounds like total B.S., then it probably is.

[poker_dummy101]

nvm

[Capybara]

Estimated present rate of sarcasm for this thread: 24%. Not too bad, really... Hang in there, SBR!

[koby25]

personally i don't care if it sounds legit to you. Who are you to judge somebody. I have a wife and kid and able to pay bills. It's under the unacceptable list enough said.

[acarmelo1]

Engineer software devolpment

[Capybara]

Current odds for thread when completed*:

Over 33% sarcastic responses: -115
Under 33% sarcastic responses: -105

*Sarcasm determination is an estimate. Sarcasm determined by Capybara. Only posts indicating what the poster does for a living/does with his time will be graded. Other posts excluded.