Pick up lines - I need some help

[Dave]

My old pickup lines are not doing it for me anymore, actually they never worked for me. Here are a few of my favorites ...

- "I'm a lesbian in a mans body"

- "Hey baby wanna wrestle?"

- "Hey Baby, if I told you I hated that dress, would you take it off?"

- "You know, you could use a little more protein in your diet....."

- "Baby, when you walked in the door, I damn near grew a third leg"

- "Wanna go halves on a baby?"


Anyone got some suggestions for me? Some new pick up lines please?

[Louie Diamond]

How about
"I'd eat your mother just to see where you came from." or
"The only reason I'd kick you out of bed is because there's more room on the floor"

[bigboydan]

dave, why don't you just use a more direct approach, and use this one:

hey baby how much

[Illusion]

It sounds you have hanging around the prick too much .

[Winston Smith]

I can't believe those haven't worked for you, Dave. Must be your delivery.

[Dave]

I don't understand it either Winston, I mean "Wanna go halves on a baby?" worked like a charm for my cousin.

I think Lou has the right aproach, "The only reason I'd kick you out of bed is because there's more room on the floor" I'm going to try this tonight at the Christian Civic Center.

BBD - the last time I tried to charge for sex it didn't go over well.

[BAUS]

The word of the day is legs. Now let's go spread the word!

BAUS

[tacomax]

Dave - I don't know how much you paid, but enrolling on jjgold's "How To Pick Up Women" seminar was a waste of good money.

[onlooker]

The word of the day is legs. Now let's go spread the word!

BAUS

Thats a good one.
That should do it for you Dave.

[BAUS]

Hi, my name is BAUS. Do you see my friends over there? They want to know if you think I'm hot.

BAUS

[Senator7]

Did it hurt? - When you fell from heaven.

If I told you that you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?

That outfit will look great on my floor tomorrow morning.

Wanna play carnival? Get naked, sit on my face, and I'll try and guess your weight.

Do you believe in love at first sight? Should I walk by again?

[imgv94]

Your feet must be tired cause you've been walking through my mind all day

Seriously just make a woman laugh,All women will tell you that a sense of
humor is sexy..

This is what works for me--> Don't I know you from somewhere?? I know I
have seen you somewhere?? Hey my name is Gabriel yours?? All you need
to do is break the ice and then improvise..

[onlooker]

Don't I know you from somewhere?? I know I
have seen you somewhere?? Hey my name is Gabriel yours??

Not sure that would work, his name is Dave.

[imgv94]

SMARTAZZ>>> onlooker.. LOL.. your right.. hey try it,,

[clonecat]

Get right to the point - Wanna f*ck - (must be used after 1 am)

[imgv94]

After 2am in Los Angeles..

[bigboydan]

BBD - the last time I tried to charge for sex it didn't go over well.

gotta be somekind of story dave, so tell it

[Razz]

I don't understand it either Winston, I mean "Wanna go halves on a baby?" worked like a charm on my cousin.

Umm, ok.

[pags11]

best advice is to listen to the Tom Leykis show (www.blowmeuptom.com)...Leykis 101 is tommorrow...

[Illusion]

best advice is to listen to the Tom Leykis show (www.blowmeuptom.com)...Leykis 101 is tommorrow...

I have never heard that guy pags, but a friend of mine is Seattle is always talking about him.

[pags11]

I believe that's where Leykis started...check out his site bro...you'll like it...blow me up...

[slacker00]

Not sure that would work, his name is Dave.

Don't ever tell a chick your real name... unless you want a relationship. ugh. lmao

I usually use Barney or Elmo. Then if things go well, I change my name to Cookie Monster or Big Bird.

[Dave]

Wanna play carnival? Get naked, sit on my face, and I'll try and guess your weight.

How do I make this my tag line?

[rm18]

you: eh girl which one of your breasts do you like better?
her: what are you talking about they are exactly the same, well not exactly but...
you: I like your left one better, because it is closer to your heart

[tacomax]

Do you know the difference between a hamburger and a blow job? No! D'ya wanna do lunch?

Go up to a girl in a bar, and slip your arm around her, and say, "Hi Laura!" She says, "I'm not Laura!" And you say, as your hand slips a little lower, "But you sure feel like her!"

Hey baby, let's play house, you can be the door and I'll slam you!

If your right leg was Christmas and your left leg was Easter, would you let me spend some time up between the holidays?

You remind me of a championship bass, I don't know whether to mount you or eat you.

[pags11]

I like the bass deal tacomax...funny stuff...

[Bread]

I like the bass deal tacomax...funny stuff...

Yea that Tacomax can be funny sometimes, huh Pags?

[smitch124]

Wow, there was once just plain ol' Dave

[DwightShrute]

"If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together"

"Did you know your eyes are the exact same color as my Porsche?"

[thezzone]

Funniest on one I ever heard..."I want you so bad that I'd crawl across a mile of broken glass on my hands and knees just to sniff the last dick that was in you"...now THATS a compliment!!!!!!

[Regul8er]

Hey Dwight....What kind of bear is best???

[jellobiafra]

I usually just try to get a cheap laugh. Generally it involves some kind of self-deprecating comment. Then I say something like "why don't let me take you out and waste your time for a few hours."

Works more times than not. Girls react better to self-deprecation than cockiness. Of course, you have to look half way decent to pull it off. If you really look like a loser and make jokes about being a loser, you're just gonna come across as a loser.

[DwightShrute]

Hey Dwight....What kind of bear is best???

beet beer, while watching battlestar galactica

[buztah]

Perfect the mercy flirt n you won't need a line.

[Bread]

My most successful pick-up line is...

"Hey baby, I'd like to wrap you up in newspaper and throw dead fish at you."

Works more than you'd expect!