So ,if a Grizzly Bear whats to "kill" you and you are a mile away what do you do ?

[ABEHONEST]

Another question for these intelligent SBR boys .[]
Okay, 5 points for the most intelligent answer ,and 5 points for the dumbest answer .
One guess each ?
And guess who calls the winners ?
That's right !
I'll run this contest till the next full hour is up !

And a little hint ,a Grizzly can run 35 miles an hour at top speed .

[whatsgood5]

Punch it in it's eyes and it'll go away

[Boner_18]

Run downhill. Bears cannot run downhill. If there is no downhill, play dead and protect your head.

[paco]

Abe, take ur medication and go bak to sleep

[ABEHONEST]

Abe, take ur medication and go bak to sleep

You guys ARE my medication ,I am still looking for intelligent life here ?

[pico]

shoot it with a rifle

[GELATINOUS CUBE]

Well Grizzly Bears have no desire to'kill' humans. they like fish. So well, Fishhead might be S.O.L, but the rest of us, we is cool.
Me and college girlfriend (the second one (the christian stripper)) were sleeping way out in the wilderness on a 5-day backpack and a grizzly creeped up on me while I was taking a midnight piss. It was all gruuuulll and i heard it breathe. Well, I went back to our spot and went back to sleep scared shitless. My gf wasn't scared cuz she didn't hear it (or maybe she had more balls than me).
But anyway, we lived and didn't get eaten, because they like to eat fish.

I had another bear encounter when I was a kid. They were only 20 feet away from our hiking group. We all started screaming at the bears and they ran and jumped up onto trees. True story and traumatising shit.

[Cabo]

Go back in the cabin and have a beer.

[tullamore]

Abe I am a degenerate gambler, what the hell would I be doing in the woods with a bear. Theres no internet to get my bets in.

[lakerboy]

abe go back to Oden's asshole where you belong.

[The Seer]

if it sees you and you are a good distance the you want to wave your hands in the air and talk loudly so that it knows you are human and not a treat

[Ace_of_Spades]

Speak calmly so that it knows you are a human (their eyesight is quite poor). They will often quickly give ground to you once they identify you as human. If the situation permits, back away slowly, keeping a close eye on the bear. Otherwise, you may wish to detour around the bear, but in this case, detour upwind so that the bear can get your scent. Keep talking calmly. Waving your arms may help it identify you as a human.

[ABEHONEST]

abe go back to Oden's asshole where you belong.

Boy ,what a snot !
I bet you read my thread I put in last night ?
Now ,instead of answering it ,you pretend you didn't see it ,ball'less .

[lakerboy]

Boy ,what a snot !
I bet you read my thread I put in last night ?
Now ,instead of answering it ,you pretend you didn't see it ,ball'less .

You are a joke. Do us all a favor and go away "old man"

[jgray]

Assuming you are not alone, you should hobble the person you are with. Preferably a leg and an arm. If you just do the leg, he may crawl off. No good. Also the more painful injury the better. The screaming will attract the bear a you should be home free. Walk away. Take your time. You should have no issue outrunning a guy with a broken arm and leg.

[Masu485]

if it's a memphis grizzly you should be able to get past it.

[treece]

play dead.

[tbonmusikman]

get in a cab, drive to the bear, grab a spork, and eat it. one. bite. at a time.

[jellobiafra]

There's some funny shit in this thread. I've got nothin'... just wanted to acknowledge some of the responses.

[ABEHONEST]

Well Grizzly Bears have no desire to'kill' humans. they like fish. So well, Fishhead might be S.O.L, but the rest of us, we is cool.
Me and college girlfriend (the second one (the christian stripper)) were sleeping way out in the wilderness on a 5-day backpack and a grizzly creeped up on me while I was taking a midnight piss. It was all gruuuulll and i heard it breathe. Well, I went back to our spot and went back to sleep scared shitless. My gf wasn't scared cuz she didn't hear it (or maybe she had more balls than me).
But anyway, we lived and didn't get eaten, because they like to eat fish.

I had another bear encounter when I was a kid. They were only 20 feet away from our hiking group. We all started screaming at the bears and they ran and jumped up onto trees. True story and traumatising shit.

This was so close to being the dumbest ,I had to give GC a point !
For one thing ,this grizzly "want's " to kill you ,not play patty-cake .
So you probably are in his territory ,and maybe at mating time too ,or, you may have gotten too close to his food supply.
If a grizzly has intention of killing you,he doesn't care if you are human or sasquatch !
You certainly donot want to attract his attention !
A 600/700 pound Grizzly can decapitate you with one swing of those vicious 4 inch claws .

[Ace_of_Spades]

Shit, mine came straight out of a fukin Survival manuel. Hello, that is a clear cut winner!!!!!

[ABEHONEST]

Shit, mine came straight out of a fukin Survival manuel. Hello, that is a clear cut winner!!!!!

Sorry Mr.you came up with spades !
Like the question says ,..this Grizzly "wants" to kill you !
Not the same as Grizzly in a normal state of mind .

Check my answer above on G.Cube !

[Ace_of_Spades]

You people make me sick.

[ABEHONEST]

You people make me sick.

Hey,I'm not like "you people" !

[Ace_of_Spades]

You are crazy though.

[therber2]

Well let's say that the bear is galloping at you at a few MPH. Who knows what it will do along the way. It may sniff some shrubs or eat several berries. I'd give that bear a minimum of 8-10 minutes to get to you. That is more than enough time to drop your pants, and shit on the ground. What you're going to want to do from there is violently roll around in your pile of shit until you are thoroughly covered, and you smell simply awful.

This bear is going to arrive at some point to kill you; however, when it gets there it just isn't going to want to touch a shit-covered human for any reason at all. Now you obviously won't have the time to eat something nasty to enhance the stench; but I'll think that it is fair to say that this bear isn't going to want any part of what's going on. The bear will change it's mind run off, and slaughter your family instead. Mission accomplished...

[GELATINOUS CUBE]

ok abe. how many bear encounters have you survived. what about the rest of you. me, 2 at least.

Bears don't want to kill people. If bears wanted to kill people, I'd be a dead honky. Why didn't that bear kill me and eat me and my lady that night we were camping? It's not like I could have just knocked it out. Bears eat fish. We taste like crap.

So, what did you do last time you saw a bear?

[Jonah]

A mile away?! How bout I don't worry about it?

[GELATINOUS CUBE]

Oh yeah, and you said 5 points for the dumbest answer.

Break yourself Abe... break yo self.

[poker_dummy101]

let it

[ABEHONEST]

Oh yeah, and you said 5 points for the dumbest answer. Break yourself Abe... break yo self.

Gelatinous Cube !
I am giving you another point for, yet again, the dumbest comeback argument !
Wow !
So GRIZZLY try too avoid humans ,huh !
Sure GC,but NOT ALL Grizzlies want to avoid you ,like the one I used for example in this thread !WoW,WoW,.....etc.

Help, someone that knows about documented tales of Grizzlies that have literally "destroyed" human beings ?

[jellobiafra]

GC - LOL at your "play" today!

Good stuff man.

[ABEHONEST]

GC - LOL at your "play" today! Good stuff man.

WHAT ?
Are you begging for a point too ?

[koby25]

IF it is the Memphis Grizzlies I just take the other side Minus the points.

[jellobiafra]

IF it is the Memphis Grizzlies I just take the other side Minus the points.

Sorry pal. Masu485 already crushed the Memphis angle. Gonna be hard to top that one.