Taco's Mailbox Sept-23 2009

[tacomax]

I get a lot of mail from wannabe touts who want to know how they can bump up their season record. Any wannabe tout worth his salt knows the old tricks like using prices that no-one else can get and increasing the unit size after a dire run in order to try and martingale your way to a winning record. But the question is - where do you go from there if that's not working? Knowing the answer to that is the key to a wannabe touts success and today, Taco's Mailbox is going to give a nice little tip on how to improve your season record.

And the tip is simple but very effective - just cancel your play at a whim when injuries make your pick a bad play or even when line movement doesn't go your way. This is a little known secret that has been used to great effect by some of the wanabee touts on the forums:

http://forum.sbrforum.com/college-football-handicapping/102758-pags-plays-9-27-a-p2.html#post1055035

http://forum.sbrforum.com/college-football-handicapping/102758-pags-plays-9-27-a-p2.html#post1055981

When you're using this method, be creative as you want. Is your -14 lock 24 points down with 2 minutes left on the clock? Just say you voided the bet before the game but didn't have a chance to post before the game started. You can even say that you arbed out on the other side for a profit so can actually add to your season record. Remember - as long as you cancel a bet before the end of the game, it doesn't affect your season record.

GL in your plays...

[UntilTheNDofTimE]

[obamaismyuncle]

Oh this is some classic shit.

[tacomax]

Taco's Mailbox is always open to suggestions from any wanabee touts who want to creatively embellish their season record.

[sickler]

visiting team +6.5 +110

home team -6.5 +110


Forget it, been done.

[rake922]

Mods make this a sticky..... What a crafty guy...

He altered posts 48 hours later

[rake922]

[tacomax]

visiting team +6.5 +110

home team -6.5 +110


Forget it, been done.

Yes, that has been covered but there are many more inventive ways to improve your record. For instance, a wannabe tout should edit their plays whenever they feel like it. Has the market moved to a better line? Edit it. Has the market moved to a better price? Edit it. Want to change sides? Edit it.

http://forum.sbrforum.com/college-football-handicapping/102758-pags-plays-9-27-a-p2.html#post1056327

http://forum.sbrforum.com/college-football-handicapping/102758-pags-plays-9-27-a-p2.html#post1055035

http://forum.sbrforum.com/college-football-handicapping/102758-pags-plays-9-27-a-p2.html#post1056332

Many wannabe touts ask me how long is acceptable when editing posts compared to when they were originally made? The answer is simple - the acceptable length of time is when it improves your record the most.

[Mikail]

Watch out Touts. Taco will not hesitate to put you on blast!

[sickler]

Shameful

[moses millsap]

is he posting personal plays or syndicate plays?

[tacomax]

Shameful

Enterprising is the word we like to use in the wannabe tout industry, sickler.

[tacomax]

is he posting personal plays or syndicate plays?

This is another ploy for the wannabe tout - it doesn't improve your season record but it can improve your e-cred. Instead of saying that you handicap and bet your plays you say that you are linked to a mysterious syndicate. I mean if other people are paying for your picks they have to be good, right? Yes - that's right. That's the RIGHT thing to do for the wannabe tout.

[RogueScholar]

*hands Pags a pair of pants to wear to cover his nakedness*

Taco

[MBENZ]

Watch it Taco,remember the internet is a small place.

[MartinBlank]

Pags brought a butter knife to a Nuclear Weapson fight with Taco.

It isn't going well for Pags.

[pavyracer]

This is wong.

[Bread]

I would honestly have sex with Tacomax.

Don't get me wrong...I'd wear a rubber. He's filthy.

But I'd do him all the same.

[tacomax]

I woke up this morning and my sack was full to bursting - Bread, I mean my mailbox - with inquiries from wanabee touts. The most common question was concerned with what happens when people start to see through your creative efforts to improve your season record?

Well, the first thing to remember is that when using Taco's Tools you're doing nothing wrong. All you're trying to do is to make your record the best it can be - how could there be anything wrong with wanting to be the best you can be? That aside, there will be some people who are jealous of your record and will try to point out inconsistencies - there are a number of ways to get around this which Taco's Mailbox will explain over the coming days.

The first way is to say it was a simple error:

http://forum.sbrforum.com/college-football-handicapping/233110-pags-plays-9-26-a-p2.html#post2271433

http://forum.sbrforum.com/college-football-handicapping/233110-pags-plays-9-26-a-p2.html#post2271524

That way you don't stir up too much of a scene and what's wrong with losing 5 cents on a single game - do you think that people are going to go back and look at every price you gave to unearth all of your other "errors"? But what if people pick up on your errors time and time again and become a nuisance? Stay tuned to Taco's Mailbox for further tips.

Don't look at people finding your "errors" as a drag - think of them as an OPPORTUNITY. Remember one of the earlier tricks? The editing one? That's right, you can go back and edit your original post and reduce the unit size of the bet if wish. And remember - you can cancel the bet anytime before gametime and, in certain circumstances, once the game has started.

http://forum.sbrforum.com/college-football-handicapping/233110-pags-plays-9-26-a-p2.html#post2270598

[MrMonkey]

You don't hate the Monkey? Right?

[tacomax]

Looks like Taco's Mailbox is becoming a popular feature considering the amount of comments and questions I'm receiving.

I've had the same question from a number of wannabe touts asking me for ways that they can make themselves look better than other people to separate them from the rest of the wannabe touts and/or regular posters. One way is to claim you're intellectually superior than everyone else. For one, you can say you went to one of the finest colleges in the country. You can double up by trashing people if you think they went to somewhere with a lower quality of education. Also make sure that you really trash people who went to community colleges - you can class those in the scum category.

However, when trashing people who go to community colleges it is advisable that you've never set foot in one yourself less so that you actually spent 2 year of your 4 year college career at one. That could end up making you look a bit of a twat.

[MartinBlank]

Taco,

You left out one very important quality in the wannabe tout.

The inability to use grammar and punctuation correctly while claiming to have a degree in English.

[tacomax]

I believe it was an education worth $40,000.

[Bread]

Back off Hottie Pags.

[tacomax]

Stay out of my threads, Bread. I am going to talk to SBR management about having my thread policed more routinely or putting it in a special area.

[tacomax]

I've had a question from a number of wannabe touts asking what to do if they're not having a good season. We know that having a bad start is not good for most wannabe touts and if you're still down by Week 4 despite getting lines than no-one else can get then there's only so far that the "I usually have a slow start" excuses can go.

At this point in time you might want to consider utilizing your team of ghost accounts to provide you with an e-boost. Get them to say nice things about you and remember to get a line in about you being an internet celebrity, that works wonders. Also mention things like following your picks on the forum for 7 years. Doesn't matter if the forum hasn't been going for 7 years, most of the people will most likely be educated in community colleges and won't be experts in addition/subtraction.

[BadNina]

Prof. Taco, when making these ghost accounts to say nice things about yourself, should the wannabe touts use the word "ghost" in the name?

[InTheHole]

What saith Pags?

[tacomax]

Prof. Taco, when making these ghost accounts to say nice things about yourself, should the wannabe touts use the word "ghost" in the name?

Excellent question, Nina.

Although it is preferable not have "ghost" in your name or even having an avatar of Casper, you shouldn't be too concerned. Remember that most people were only educated at community colleges and won't be able to put the pieces together.

[Robyn]

Also, make sure to use as many ...'s in your post as possible. This will not only assure the readers that you are a reliable tout, it will also prove that you lead a nation of alternate SBR handles.

[MrX]

Prof. Taco, when making these ghost accounts to say nice things about yourself, should the wannabe touts use the word "ghost" in the name?

The wannabee tout is using third-level thinking here. This gives him the following defense: "Do you really think I'd be stupid enough to create a ghost with "ghost" in the username...."

[MBENZ]

I'm reserving any opinion on this until Dr.Phil makes an appearence,then for sure the square bear bunch will be as one.

[MonkeyF0cker]

What is the record this year of our very own Internet celebrity?

[tacomax]

What is the record this year of our very own Internet celebrity?

It's a marathon not a sprint, MonkeyF0cker.

[MonkeyF0cker]

LOL. Touché.