[Razz]

Bammer - Alabama fan, 95% of whom didn't go to UA, or any college for that matter, and someone who reminisces about the past 24 hours a day.

So, I went to Tuscaloosa with a couple friends to watch the Auburn @ Alabama game. Now, Aubs (the Auburn version of a Bammer, except educated) knew that Alabama was almost certainly going to win, but we knew it was an opportunity to get under their skin regardless.

The first highlight of the game was Alabama's head football coach Mike Shula (a man who makes Bob Davies look like Knute Rockne) being introduced to polite applause at halftime. Well, considering neither he nor any member of his senior class has ever beaten Auburn, we felt it was proper to cheer his incompetence.
Another highlight came in the second half, when the prototypical Bammer (5-8, 340, hasn't shaved in a month, slurs his words - perhaps in a tribute to the biggest drunk in Bammer history, Bear Bryant, but most likely because he is a worthless human) saw an Alabama player jump on Korvortney Barber's (Auburn's center) back 92 feet away from the Auburn goal, and a couple seconds later Barber was at the free throw line, because it was the seventh team foul.
Here is his honest comment (you can't make this up unless you're a Bammer):

"What the penetrate? That wasn't a shooting foul."

RAZZ PISSES OFF THE BAMMERS
Some background info: QB Brodie Croyle wore #12 for the Alabama football team. In the Iron Bowl, he was sacked 11 times by Auburn. Alonzo Gee is #12 for the Alabama basketball team.

There was a loose ball near midcourt, and an Auburn player ran over Alonzo Gee. Well, in a moment of poor judgment, I yelled out, "#12 in red and white is on the ground again." The stadium was inexplicably quiet (I guess due to the fact that Alabama was barely beating the second worst team in the SEC at home), and my voice carried a lot more than I was expecting.
Literally, five of the next six words I heard were some form of the word "penetrate." The other was "dumb". Now, this could be due to the fact that most bammers don't know any multi-syllable words, but I think they were furious with that comment.
So, as we leave after the game (had to stay to the end, as my friend had Auburn +13, and they ended up losing by 10), two Bammers start verbally accosting one of the people I was with. This was OK, as a Bammer will never defeat an Aub when it comes to wit, and this was no exception. My friend said something to the effect of Alabama being one of the games we consider a win before the game, and the Bammer saying something about not having 21 scholarships (for getting caught paying players while they were still under probation). What happened next illustrates the Bammer mindset:

Aub: Well, quit penetrating cheating.
Bammer: It's not our fault.

We walk out, proudly displaying four fingers to remind the Bammers that they are second-best in the state when it comes to the religion of the south.

[Razz]

I posted this to both:

1. Give a mindset as to why I hate being around Bammers, but more importantly...
2. Apologize for anyone who lost with me the past couple days, as I wasn't putting in the required time because of a vacation I took to Tuscaloser, B'ham, and Auburn. Back home now, and ready for a winning day tomorrow.

[dave11486]

Great story. And I thought Ohio St./Michigan(loves the cockk cough) was a heated rivalry.