entertaining IMs re: Tennis dogshit

[Justin7]

I have plenty of IM conversations that seem normal at the time, but must look bizarre in hindsite. This one cracked me up when I was looking back.

Elihu: is davydenko dogshit?
Elihu: the sheet says cutoff is +150
Elihu: market is +161
KGB: ah yes
Elihu: if he opened lower, he is dogshit
KGB: he opened lower
Elihu: where did he open?
Elihu: and can you put up a dogshit warning on the sheet when needed?
KGB: +147
Elihu: we pass on him
KGB: Kirillenko is another dogshit it seems
KGB: opened at +111

[EaglesPhan36]

That might be my favorite conversation of the year.

[allin1]

poetry

If I wouldn't have a clue about sports betting I would have probably thought this is a coded conversation between some secret mossad agent and a russian asset/informer.

[shari91]

surprise surprise the two players named here

I think we need to make a Tennis Forum dictionary soon.

dogshit: usually any player ending in "ko"

BDS: big dick server ie Raonic

Jellohead: SBR Lou's favourite player (Jelena Jankovic)

"Tennis is so easy to bet!": Said after someone wins a -1200 fave in the first round of a Slam

"FUKK TENNIS": Posted after someone loses multiple -1200 faves in the 2nd and 3rd rounds of a Slam. *They are never usually seen again in the Tennis Forum.

Potato: Potito Starace

The Onion: Flavio Cipolla

Cokehead: too many to list; usually in reference to one Richard Gasquet though

Fat Dave, Fatty, Fatty Boombah: David Nalbandian

Fed-Ex, Kleen-ex (lately): Roger Federer

Wawa, Stan the Man with Boobs: Wawrinka

Clown, Dickmunch, Connoisseur of Martinis in random nightclubs when he should be resting for a match the next day, Worst player to bet on ever: Gael Monfils

The Bottler: Samantha Stosur

The Pusher: Caroline Wozniacki


Too many more to list.

[allin1]

Shari any tinker, taylor or soldier?

[shari91]

Shari any tinker, taylor or soldier?

Someone emailed me after they saw this post and said I was the Queen of Nicknames and that he was surprised I'd left some out. But there are so many... Tennis Forum is definitely the most entertaining and probably lucrative subforum on SBR. Seriously great posters in here. When people disappear for awhile, it hurts my heart. Just wish I had a bit more time to bet at the moment but with packing, 2 jobs, etc it's all a bit much. Soon though. In the meantime, I hope everyone is kicking some butt.

[kilmerAsHolliday]

A few off the top of my head that we use:
Cocknose: Verdasco
jellyfish: Montanes
Lardon: Bartoli
Choker: Troicki
Lumber Jack: Isner
Skeletor: Davydonkey
Sui #3: Chiudinelli
Mugro: Almagro
Mugfils: Monfils
Worm: Stepanek
Bok: Anderson
Felacio: Lopez
Midget: Rochus
Exzavier: Malisse
Marata: Safina
Petkrazy: Petkorazzi
Slut: Mattek
Carla from Cheers: Suarez
Cousin: Pironkova
Groth: GaJdosova
Rain Clouds, Sulky, frowny, or similar: Zakopalova

Borat or Borata: Anyone from the general Kazak region

[kilmerAsHolliday]

Princess: Serena
Sunshine: Woz

[yisman]

So, what was going on in that conversation?

[yisman]

^^^ Petkorazzi is a nickname as well.

[beefcake]

Fatty has to be reserved for Bartoli only..

Shari, you pretty much nailed em all there..