One of the keys to a successful handicapper:

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  • The Giant
    SBR Posting Legend
    • 01-21-12
    • 21480

    #1
    One of the keys to a successful handicapper:
    It's really simple:

    Power naps.

    There is nothing like an afternoon snooze to rebuild your energy, keeping you focused, and one step ahead of the books.

    As a degenerate gambler, we don't often sleep normal hours, eat properly, exercise enough, etc. This may cause our brain to become less active, giving the bookmakers the opportunity to exploit us at our weakest moments.

    I strongly recommend a 30-45 minute nap each day.

    I have documented stats backing up these theories:

    When I don't nap, my winning percentage is a paltry 54%.

    When I nap, my winning percentage is a robust 63%.

    I recently put a gambling friend of mine on a strict nap regiment. The evidence was overwhelming. He quit his job as a high-powered attorney, and now solely focuses on making money through gambling.

    Without napping: 48%.

    With the naps: 58%.

    A couple of more items: Try to do it in a dark room, in a comfortable setting. Make sure the room isn't pitched black, however, it makes it harder to wake up. Turn off your cell phone, as these minutes are critical for honing your mind. Set your alarm to wake up to peaceful, soft music, one that puts you in that winning spirit.

    Follow these simple guidelines, and you will notice a skyrocketing in gambling production.

    Good luck.

  • acl123
    SBR Hall of Famer
    • 03-17-11
    • 5896

    #2
    Giant give me a fukking winner.
    Comment
    • Smoke
      SBR Aristocracy
      • 10-09-09
      • 48111

      #3
      Giant cradle me like a newborn!
      Comment
      • The Giant
        SBR Posting Legend
        • 01-21-12
        • 21480

        #4
        Sorry, acl123. I was napping.

        I feel so refreshed and full of energy, it's inexplicable.

        Let me give you a play while my thinking abilities are at their absolute pinnacle:

        Brewers/Marlins under 8.
        Comment
        • Smoke
          SBR Aristocracy
          • 10-09-09
          • 48111

          #5
          Giant thanks for the play!
          Comment
          • The Giant
            SBR Posting Legend
            • 01-21-12
            • 21480

            #6
            Only thank me if it wins, Smoke.

            In the meantime, get over here and snuggle with me!
            Comment
            • acl123
              SBR Hall of Famer
              • 03-17-11
              • 5896

              #7
              Giant i did not mean to wake you.
              I will pound this play because you are a legend.
              Comment
              • Smoke
                SBR Aristocracy
                • 10-09-09
                • 48111

                #8
                sure thing pal
                Comment
                • CanuckG
                  SBR Posting Legend
                  • 12-23-10
                  • 21978

                  #9
                  Agreed gamblers sleeping pattern is fukked.
                  Comment
                  • acl123
                    SBR Hall of Famer
                    • 03-17-11
                    • 5896

                    #10
                    Can i come over and be the middle spoon?
                    Comment
                    • Smoke
                      SBR Aristocracy
                      • 10-09-09
                      • 48111

                      #11
                      Originally posted by acl123
                      Can i come over and be the middle spoon?
                      yes but bring some figs and a case of Budweiser..

                      good looking out pal
                      Comment
                      • JohnGalt2341
                        SBR Hall of Famer
                        • 12-31-09
                        • 9125

                        #12
                        This is great news! As napping and masturbating(not necessarily in that order) are my 2 best skills. Have you done any research on masturbating and Handicapping?
                        Comment
                        • Ghenghis Kahn
                          SBR Posting Legend
                          • 01-02-12
                          • 19736

                          #13
                          Originally posted by JohnGalt2341
                          This is great news! As napping and masturbating(not necessarily in that order) are my 2 best skills. Have you done any research on masturbating and Handicapping?
                          how does one determine their skill levels at napping and masturbating?
                          Comment
                          • The Giant
                            SBR Posting Legend
                            • 01-21-12
                            • 21480

                            #14
                            The true efficient expert can masturbate at least twice as often as he naps.

                            And a nap is required daily, so...
                            Comment
                            • The Giant
                              SBR Posting Legend
                              • 01-21-12
                              • 21480

                              #15
                              Smoke, acl, I hope we can remain friends after that stinker of a pick.

                              Greinke just did not have it tonight.
                              Comment
                              • acl123
                                SBR Hall of Famer
                                • 03-17-11
                                • 5896

                                #16
                                Giant its ok.Ithink i woke you up to early from your nap.
                                Comment
                                • russiaboss
                                  SBR Wise Guy
                                  • 02-15-10
                                  • 735

                                  #17
                                  A nap is nice especially after BBQ or after some hours of pounding a pretty piece of chicken
                                  Comment
                                  • subs
                                    SBR MVP
                                    • 04-30-10
                                    • 1412

                                    #18
                                    Originally posted by The Giant

                                    When I don't nap, my winning percentage is a paltry 54%.

                                    When I nap, my winning percentage is a robust 63%.






                                    LULZ
                                    Comment
                                    • Cuse0323
                                      BARRELED IN @ SBR!
                                      • 12-09-09
                                      • 30169

                                      #19
                                      I've never been able to nap, I tried to yesterday. Fell asleep at 5 PM, wanted to wake up at like 6 or 7 but just woke up at 230 this morning.
                                      Comment
                                      • BigDeem5
                                        SBR Posting Legend
                                        • 02-26-11
                                        • 17191

                                        #20
                                        I nap, but usually 1-1.5 hrs. They're great.
                                        Comment
                                        • chilidog
                                          SBR Posting Legend
                                          • 04-05-09
                                          • 10305

                                          #21
                                          Originally posted by Cuse0323
                                          I've never been able to nap, I tried to yesterday. Fell asleep at 5 PM, wanted to wake up at like 6 or 7 but just woke up at 230 this morning.
                                          I can't nap, either. I go to sleep, and I'll wake up like 8 hours later.
                                          Comment
                                          • BiTeMe UsAdOj
                                            SBR Hall of Famer
                                            • 08-18-11
                                            • 7537

                                            #22
                                            The Giant is a sharp... and I agree with him 100% here.

                                            Power naps are awesome.

                                            I often post while napping.

                                            Most can tell.


                                            I'm napping now, btw.
                                            Comment
                                            • nrok2118
                                              SBR MVP
                                              • 02-10-12
                                              • 1182

                                              #23
                                              Originally posted by chilidog
                                              I can't nap, either. I go to sleep, and I'll wake up like 8 hours later.
                                              +1
                                              Comment
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