Tell me one thing that brock landers has taught you?

baskets · 07-02-12, 12:10 AM

Brock sent me a PM one time.

"Listen, baskets, whenever your wife acts uppity... you just stick your finger up her asshole and have her play the harmonica!"

He continued: "Then you say to her, 'It's a goddamn muddafuckking rubberband play and I'll bet the fukking mortgage payment on it if I want to."

End result? We tried this. She thought it would be kinky. In the end, though, I just got a chocolate-stained finger, lost a mortgage payment, and my wife threw that harmonica across the fukking living room and shattered a vase.

Thx Brock.

The Bet Master · 07-02-12, 12:12 AM

How I can go from hating a guy to liking him. First came to the forum and the guy seemed like a attention whore with nothing to add. Over time I learned his ways and he's a pretty nice guy with funny stories.

baskets · 07-02-12, 12:20 AM

Originally posted by The Bet Master

How I can go from hating a guy to liking him. First came to the forum and the guy seemed like a attention whore with nothing to add. Over time I learned his ways and he's a pretty nice guy with funny stories.

and he let you pump him anally

don't leave out the most important part

ttwarrior1 · 07-02-12, 12:23 AM

brock taught me not to take drugs , do chargebacks, and how to fade

The Bet Master · 07-02-12, 12:27 AM

Originally posted by baskets

and he let you pump him anally

don't leave out the most important part

You've also done it?

baskets · 07-02-12, 12:42 AM

yeah, I did it... was ashamed at first.

I had gone to Brock's house to knock him over the head with a crowbar b/c he gave me a rubberband play that lost ... but when I got to his door he was dressed up in maid's outfit and was all greased up with Crisco.

he had a flap that covered his buttocks. it read: "Lift flap, go to town, and consider the rubberband play lost funds a thing of the past"

Well, went to town. End of story.

Apparently, tho, Brock has purposely made his rubberband plays hit at 40% b/c there were cars lining up around the block for "repayment". That wouldn't be the case if he purposely picked winners.

Duff85 · 07-02-12, 02:15 AM

The depths and delusion of gambling addiction.

baskets · 07-02-12, 02:26 AM

Duff, what caused your anal tumor? you stick toothbrushes or doorknobs up there or something?

I'm pulling for ya

tony_come · 07-02-12, 02:32 AM

To recycle cans/bottles

YorkHunt · 07-02-12, 03:06 AM

Brock taught me how to cradle you guey

BEANTOWNJIM · 07-02-12, 03:42 AM

BROCK HAS TAUGHT ME DONT GO TO BASEBALL GAMES WITH FRIENDS

REMEMBER A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO WHEN BROCK LANDERS AND COUGAR BAIT MET UP FOR A CUBS GAME AT WRIGLEY.THEY WERE HAVING A GREAT TIME TOGETHER BUT SOMETHING HAPPENED AND WE NEVER FOUND OUT NOW BROCK AND COUGAR VERY SELDOM TALK ANYMORE.

I HAVE TALKED TO A COUPLE OF GUYS WHO ARE CLOSE TO COUGARBAIT AND THEY TOLD ME COUGAR WAS REALLY UPSET AT BROCK IT SEEMS AFTER A DAY OF DRINKING AND COUGARBAIT PICKING UP ALL THE TABS BROCK LANDERS TRIED TO FONDLE COUGARBAIT DURING THE 7TH INNING STRETCH.COUGAR WENT INTO A STALL AND BROCK FOLLOWED AS COUGAR UNZIPPED HIS PANTS BROCK REACHED OVER AND SAID HEY COUGAR I HAD A GREAT DAY LET ME GIVE YOU A HAND

COUGAR LIKED IT BUT HE WAS A LITTLE CONFUSED BUT HE RAN OFF AND HE HASNT TALKED TO BROCK SINCE.

SO BOYS I GUESS BROCK LANDERS TAUGHT ME ONE THING DONT GO TO BASEBALL GAMES ALONE WITH FRIENDS

daimoshokage · 07-02-12, 03:47 AM

Brock taught me that fading him is money..

rm18 · 07-02-12, 03:54 AM

Do not incriminate yourself

Cougar Bait · 07-02-12, 04:14 AM

Originally posted by BEANTOWNJIM

BROCK HAS TAUGHT ME DONT GO TO BASEBALL GAMES WITH FRIENDS

REMEMBER A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO WHEN BROCK LANDERS AND COUGAR BAIT MET UP FOR A CUBS GAME AT WRIGLEY.THEY WERE HAVING A GREAT TIME TOGETHER BUT SOMETHING HAPPENED AND WE NEVER FOUND OUT NOW BROCK AND COUGAR VERY SELDOM TALK ANYMORE.

I HAVE TALKED TO A COUPLE OF GUYS WHO ARE CLOSE TO COUGARBAIT AND THEY TOLD ME COUGAR WAS REALLY UPSET AT BROCK IT SEEMS AFTER A DAY OF DRINKING AND COUGARBAIT PICKING UP ALL THE TABS BROCK LANDERS TRIED TO FONDLE COUGARBAIT DURING THE 7TH INNING STRETCH.COUGAR WENT INTO A STALL AND BROCK FOLLOWED AS COUGAR UNZIPPED HIS PANTS BROCK REACHED OVER AND SAID HEY COUGAR I HAD A GREAT DAY LET ME GIVE YOU A HAND

COUGAR LIKED IT BUT HE WAS A LITTLE CONFUSED BUT HE RAN OFF AND HE HASNT TALKED TO BROCK SINCE.

SO BOYS I GUESS BROCK LANDERS TAUGHT ME ONE THING DONT GO TO BASEBALL GAMES ALONE WITH FRIENDS

WTF

jjgold · 07-02-12, 05:17 AM

Brock taught me many things

Never give up
do anything to stay in the game'
gambling before family

He is a son of a bitch

konck · 07-02-12, 05:35 AM

Brock taught me that if you lose 10 in a row then win one say
Thats was EZ money boys GET SOME

Br0nxer · 07-02-12, 05:37 AM

If you win there aint no fukkin juice

Cuse0323 · 07-02-12, 05:43 AM

He taught me that I'm not that big of a degenerate as I thought, haven't fcked over anyone to stay in the game.

Chi_archie · 07-02-12, 05:48 AM

the importance of long family vacations, road trips, seeing this great country...

also, if a bank teller accidently gives you and extra 500 dollars, don't document it on SBR.....

Also, let your life insurance do their thing when you have a car accident....

jjgold · 07-02-12, 05:49 AM

Originally posted by Br0nxer

If you win there aint no fukkin juice

So true actually

BigDeem5 · 07-02-12, 05:54 AM

He has taught me that despite his cuddly exterior, the guy is a fkin killer. He doesn't give a fk about anything but betting games. He acts like a family man and enjoys these trips through Cleveland and Canada, he's dying to watch these games and loves the action. It is eating at him that he can't watch these games bc his family can't know he's an addict. The guy is a legend

Smoke · 07-02-12, 07:19 AM

Originally posted by BEANTOWNJIM

BROCK HAS TAUGHT ME DONT GO TO BASEBALL GAMES WITH FRIENDS

REMEMBER A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO WHEN BROCK LANDERS AND COUGAR BAIT MET UP FOR A CUBS GAME AT WRIGLEY.THEY WERE HAVING A GREAT TIME TOGETHER BUT SOMETHING HAPPENED AND WE NEVER FOUND OUT NOW BROCK AND COUGAR VERY SELDOM TALK ANYMORE.

I HAVE TALKED TO A COUPLE OF GUYS WHO ARE CLOSE TO COUGARBAIT AND THEY TOLD ME COUGAR WAS REALLY UPSET AT BROCK IT SEEMS AFTER A DAY OF DRINKING AND COUGARBAIT PICKING UP ALL THE TABS BROCK LANDERS TRIED TO FONDLE COUGARBAIT DURING THE 7TH INNING STRETCH.COUGAR WENT INTO A STALL AND BROCK FOLLOWED AS COUGAR UNZIPPED HIS PANTS BROCK REACHED OVER AND SAID HEY COUGAR I HAD A GREAT DAY LET ME GIVE YOU A HAND

COUGAR LIKED IT BUT HE WAS A LITTLE CONFUSED BUT HE RAN OFF AND HE HASNT TALKED TO BROCK SINCE.

SO BOYS I GUESS BROCK LANDERS TAUGHT ME ONE THING DONT GO TO BASEBALL GAMES ALONE WITH FRIENDS

Brock Landers · 07-02-12, 09:26 AM

Salud Boys!

just got up here in Niagara Falls.

Going on the Maid of the Mist next, then lunch in Burlington Ontario. Then onto Toronto, Jays game tonight. i hope Romero brings his A game, i am on that some bitch

Br0nxer · 07-02-12, 09:31 AM

Originally posted by Brock Landers

Salud Boys!

just got up here in Niagara Falls.

Going on the Maid of the Mist next, then lunch in Burlington Ontario. Then onto Toronto, Jays game tonight. i hope Romero brings his A game, i am on that some bitch

Brock will there be any videos documenting your trip

Smoke · 07-02-12, 09:37 AM

Originally posted by Br0nxer

Brock will there be any videos documenting your trip

Brock Landers · 07-02-12, 09:42 AM

Originally posted by Br0nxer

Brock will there be any videos documenting your trip

nope, that won't be happening Bronxer

enjoy your day pal!

Br0nxer · 07-02-12, 09:47 AM

Originally posted by Brock Landers

nope, that won't be happening Bronxer

enjoy your day pal!

You sumbitch

Brocker dont go on tilt if the jays lose and do anything stupid like murder your family

It is easier to kill a wife and kids on a road trip then at home

Brock Landers · 07-02-12, 09:48 AM

Originally posted by Br0nxer

You sumbitch

Brocker dont go on tilt if the jays lose and do anything stupid like murder your family

It is easier to kill a wife and kids on a road trip then at home

Smoke · 07-02-12, 09:54 AM

Originally posted by Br0nxer

You sumbitch

Brocker dont go on tilt if the jays lose and do anything stupid like murder your family

It is easier to kill a wife and kids on a road trip then at home

Originally posted by Brock Landers

manny24 · 07-02-12, 09:59 AM

if you find a play you like just POUND THE FUKK OUT OF IT!...also made some good coin fading freddy garcia past couple years...thank you brock "30 minutes or less" landers.

lesterdymond · 07-02-12, 09:59 AM

He taught me passion for sportsbetting. He lives and dies for the action.

a4u2fear · 07-02-12, 11:20 AM

Originally posted by Smoke

I will go first obviously

Brock had taught me how to win at gambling

Next...

What was the lesson

frogsrangers · 07-02-12, 11:44 AM

He came up with the name rubberband play because whenever he was trying to get it on he would tie a rubberband around his rooster, and when he began to get hard the rubberband would stretch and stretch and stretch until it broke.

So the analogy is:

Rubber band = Line on the book
Rooster = People betting
Rubber band breaking = Line movement

A rubberband play is when a bunch of people hammer a play so hard that the money coming in stretches the book so much that it breaks and has to move the line.

Grits n' Gravy · 07-02-12, 12:47 PM

Never tip the pizza delivery guy. He'll just blow it on a rubberband play. Go nail his wife while he is out delivering pies and leave a few bucks so she can keep the power on.