
Originally Posted by
cant call it
The first thing you want to do is start a fire in the fireplace. Start early, & dress appropriately, you are fixing to go outside to shovel snow in balls freezing weather so bundle up. Go to your garage and grap some rope, shovel, and ladder. Tie one end of the rope to a small cooler holding beer, tie the other end to your belt loop. Grab your shovel and your ladder and go to the highest point of the roof. (You wont be able to climb roof up from lowest point due to possible avalanche, this would cause you to spill beer, which is the only thing we do not want to do.) With shovel in hand, climb your ladder and get to the top of the roof, and get your beer to follow you via the rope. At this point we are ready to open the cooler and remove at least one beer near the chimney, where you can warm your hands up in the process. This is also a good time to get even with the neighbors dog that keeps dumping in your garden and lawn by hurling snowballs at it hopefully waking it up from a warm nap that it was taking. This should also wake up the neighbors, which just makes it that much more worth it. Now you should finish up the few you drank meanwhile hurling your cans down to the front door step so they can be easily retrieved later. Start shoveling at the furthest point away from door/exit areas, so you dont risk being snowed out of the house. This should be pretty easy unless its just frozen to your roof and has become a large sheet of ice. If your roofed is sloped enough, the weight of the snow you push down should help build up and slide off on its way down. After this, you definitely need to drink some more beer, and probably smoke a bowl as well. Now here comes the fun part, you could either get wifes/kids attention by tapping on the roof and calling their name or you could facebook them from the new blackberry you got this christmas. Make sure they are cooking breakfast inside while you are drinking the rest of the beer on the roof, because you have been out all day working. when they come to let you know its ready, kindly ask them to pick up the beer cans, while you push the snow above the doorway you have been saving onto them for not coming and doing this job instead of letting you do it alone. Go inside, eat breakfast. The rest is for you to figure out.