The only things more amusing than some of the outrageously silly UFC fighters’ nicknames, are the slogans associated with many of their pay per views. UFC 87: Seek and Destroy, carries on the torch of dopey nicknames. What is not dopey, however, is the stacked fight card.
Saturday night UFC fights….LET’S GET IT ON!!
Georges St-Pierre -360
Jon Fitch +300
Our main event just happens to be for the Welterweight Championship. It also just happens to feature one of MMA’s most enthralling fighters, Georges St-Pierre (16-2-0). He even has fitting nickname – “Rush”. Watching this talented Canadian in the octagon can certainly be “rush” inducing.
After a shocking loss to reality show meathead Matt Serra, who was an 11-1 underdog, St-Pierre has been untouchable. He laid the beatdown on Jeff Koscheck and Matt Hughes. Then four months ago he exacted some revenge on Serra in impressive fashion, en route to regaining his belt. Because of guys like St-Pierre, Anderson Silva and Mike Tyson, I will never again take anyone with a little girl’s voice lightly. It wouldn’t end well for Bread.
Opponent Jon Fitch (21-2-0) is certainly no slouch. Riding a 15 fight winning streak, Fitch’s last loss came on 12/02. To put that in perspective, Pat Venditto wasn’t even in high school yet. He has victories over some impressive names: Josh Burkman, Thiago Alves, Diego Sanchez. Most of those victories are followed with one of the sport’s best celebrations – Fitch running around the mat like a lunatic with a freakish crazy eye. I look forward to it.
Unfortunately, I don’t think I’ll be seeing that celebration tonight. Look for St-Pierre to continue his dominance. Georges St-Pierre -360.
Brock Lesnar -240
Heath Herring +180
Big Brock Lesnar (1-1-0) is back. Listed as 6’3” 265 lbs, the man is just a monster. The UFC wants this guy to do well. He brings with him a huge fanbase from his WWE days. Heck, he even lists that as a personal accomplishment on the UFC website: “WWE Champion”. Um, should someone tell him that pro wrestling is all fake? I’m not going to be the one, but someone should.
Lesnar’s first pro MMA bout was against someone named Min Soo Kim. Don’t worry, I had no idea who he was either. Brock pummeled him into submission by strikes in less than two minutes. Enter the UFC, where Frank Mir exposed the big guy’s weaknesses. Mir took a pounding for most of the first round, until landing a leg lock on Lesnar for the victory.
No problem. Lesnar was then setup for a patsy match against a 43 year old UFC Hall of Fame inductee, Mark Coleman. Coleman saved himself the embarrassment of enduring senior citizen abuse and injured himself. Enter Heath Herring.
Herring (29-13-1) is not the patsy that I think the UFC wanted to help propel their newest big name. He is an inch taller than Lesnar, and about 15 lbs lighter. He was born in Waco, TX so you know he’s crazy. Herring sports a variety of crazy hair colors and styles. He looks like a space cowboy bar brawler. He carries his own personal silly nickname, “The Texas Crazy Horse”, very well.
Nowhere was Herring’s insanity levels on more display than New Year’s Eve 2005. During his K-1 pre-fight staredown with opponent Yoshihiro Nakao, Nakao made the bird-brained decision to lean in and give Heath a kiss on the lips. Herring promptly knocked his suitor out with a blow to the jaw. The fight was declared a no contest.
In his last fight, he took a split decision from the physical specimen that is Cheick Kongo. Lesnar seems to have no respect for his latest hobby. Unlike most fighters who praise their opponents leading up to a match, Lesnar has the “I’ll beat everyone I have to, to make it to the top...I don’t care who it is” attitude. Sadly for Brock, unlike in the WWE, you cannot be declared a champion in the UFC by the writing team.
The UFC has even put this card in Lesnar’s hometown of Minneapolis, where he wrestled collegiately and even had a brief stint with the Vikings. The crowd will be pulling for him hard. I don’t think they will be going home happy. Heath Herring +180.
Kenny Florian -160
Roger Huerta +130
UFC President Dana White has already said that this is his personal pick for fight of the year. I would tend to agree with him. Kenny “Kenflo” Florian (9-3-0) will be bringing his elbows of death with him. He has lost only to Sean Sherk and Diego Sanchez in ‘The Ultimate Fighter 1’ finale. All others are usually defeated in bloody fashion. With a background in Muay Thai and Jiu-Jitsu, Florian is no joke.
Roger Huerta (22-1-1) is known as “El Matador”. I believe that is French for “doormat”. I could be wrong. Either way, the Sports Illustrated cover boy is 6-0 in the UFC. His last victory against Clay Guida was an exciting bout from beginning to end. Huerta was getting smacked around for much of the fight, before catching Guida in a nasty 3rd round choke hold.
Florian seems like a nice enough kid from Boston. He even stepped in and did color commentary in Joe Rogan’s absence for UFC 83. It would be great if one day he could save my bleeding ears from Rogan’s screaming. Huerta has the Alcoholics Anonymous third step prayer tattooed on his right forearm. What does any of this have to do with anything? Not much. Dana White is right. This fight is a tough call either way. For such a closely contested bout, go with the value. Roger Huerta +130.
Demian Maia -285
Jason MacDonald +225
My wife and I’s favorite running UFC theme is to keep track of all the redheads, or dark dirty blond fighters. There are tons of them. I guess when you are born with orange hair, you have to learn how to fight at a young age. The fun part about them is, 30 seconds into the fight these guys look like they have some major pigmentation issues. Giant red splotches all over their body. What can I say…we are easily amused.
Well they don’t come anymore flaring bright orange than Canadian fighter Jason MacDonald (21-9-0). He possesses one of the weaker nicknames in the game, “The Athlete”. How far away are we from someone dubbing themselves as “The Human”. This is getting ridiculous.
MacDonald’s opponent for this Middleweight matchup is Demian Maia (8-0-0). Maia is a Brazilian fighter influenced by the legendary Gracies. The majority of his victories are achieved by some form of a choke out. Maia has stated that his favorite technique is to “Submit my opponent without him hurting me, or me hurting him”. Well that’s no fun.
I highly anticipate the moment when Maia is choking out poor MacDonald, forcing his face to turn shades of red and orange never before seen by mankind. It will be a giddy moment in the Bread household. Demian Maia -285.
Manny Gamburyan -320
Rob Emerson +260
The battle of the Lightweights pits Manny “The Anvil” Gamburyan (9-3-0) against Rob “The Saint” Emerson (9-6-1). It’s a draw on the worst nickname.
Gamburyan reminds me why I don’t fight little guys when I go out. In dress attire, standing at a whopping 5’5” 155 lbs, I would almost want to take it easy on the guy. Then I would be dismantled in sad fashion. No thanks.
Manny’s actual name is Manvel. He was born in Armenia. He likes to enter the ring to the music of Armenian band System of a Down. If Joe Rogan’s decibels don’t make your ears bleed enough, perhaps Manvel’s music can help.
Gamburyan lost in The Ultimate Fighter championship to Nate Diaz. Manny was beating him up pretty good until dislocating his shoulder. That was a bad night for Bread. Manny has won two in a row since then.
Dana White must love Rob Emerson for some reason. On the reality show’s fifth installment, he first lost out to Diaz. Then he returned as a replacement for an injured fighter, and lost to Corey Hill. Then on the finale’s undercard, he was slammed to the mat by Gray Maynard and submitted. Problem was, Maynard slammed his own head too hard and fell unconscious. The fight was declared a no contest. Emerson hasn’t shown anything, but like the Terminator, he keeps coming back.
This will be an easy victory for Gamburyan. The only concern would be the karma train. In his last bout with Jeff Cox, Manny broke the unspoken rule of professional fighting. He faked the glove tap than many fighters do to begin a round, and smacked a spinning leg kick at his opponent. Not good. Fortunately for gamblers, Emerson will not be the one to avenge the karma gods. Manny Gamburyan -320.
Saturday night UFC fights….LET’S GET IT ON!!
Georges St-Pierre -360
Jon Fitch +300
Our main event just happens to be for the Welterweight Championship. It also just happens to feature one of MMA’s most enthralling fighters, Georges St-Pierre (16-2-0). He even has fitting nickname – “Rush”. Watching this talented Canadian in the octagon can certainly be “rush” inducing.
After a shocking loss to reality show meathead Matt Serra, who was an 11-1 underdog, St-Pierre has been untouchable. He laid the beatdown on Jeff Koscheck and Matt Hughes. Then four months ago he exacted some revenge on Serra in impressive fashion, en route to regaining his belt. Because of guys like St-Pierre, Anderson Silva and Mike Tyson, I will never again take anyone with a little girl’s voice lightly. It wouldn’t end well for Bread.
Opponent Jon Fitch (21-2-0) is certainly no slouch. Riding a 15 fight winning streak, Fitch’s last loss came on 12/02. To put that in perspective, Pat Venditto wasn’t even in high school yet. He has victories over some impressive names: Josh Burkman, Thiago Alves, Diego Sanchez. Most of those victories are followed with one of the sport’s best celebrations – Fitch running around the mat like a lunatic with a freakish crazy eye. I look forward to it.
Unfortunately, I don’t think I’ll be seeing that celebration tonight. Look for St-Pierre to continue his dominance. Georges St-Pierre -360.
Brock Lesnar -240
Heath Herring +180
Big Brock Lesnar (1-1-0) is back. Listed as 6’3” 265 lbs, the man is just a monster. The UFC wants this guy to do well. He brings with him a huge fanbase from his WWE days. Heck, he even lists that as a personal accomplishment on the UFC website: “WWE Champion”. Um, should someone tell him that pro wrestling is all fake? I’m not going to be the one, but someone should.
Lesnar’s first pro MMA bout was against someone named Min Soo Kim. Don’t worry, I had no idea who he was either. Brock pummeled him into submission by strikes in less than two minutes. Enter the UFC, where Frank Mir exposed the big guy’s weaknesses. Mir took a pounding for most of the first round, until landing a leg lock on Lesnar for the victory.
No problem. Lesnar was then setup for a patsy match against a 43 year old UFC Hall of Fame inductee, Mark Coleman. Coleman saved himself the embarrassment of enduring senior citizen abuse and injured himself. Enter Heath Herring.
Herring (29-13-1) is not the patsy that I think the UFC wanted to help propel their newest big name. He is an inch taller than Lesnar, and about 15 lbs lighter. He was born in Waco, TX so you know he’s crazy. Herring sports a variety of crazy hair colors and styles. He looks like a space cowboy bar brawler. He carries his own personal silly nickname, “The Texas Crazy Horse”, very well.
Nowhere was Herring’s insanity levels on more display than New Year’s Eve 2005. During his K-1 pre-fight staredown with opponent Yoshihiro Nakao, Nakao made the bird-brained decision to lean in and give Heath a kiss on the lips. Herring promptly knocked his suitor out with a blow to the jaw. The fight was declared a no contest.
In his last fight, he took a split decision from the physical specimen that is Cheick Kongo. Lesnar seems to have no respect for his latest hobby. Unlike most fighters who praise their opponents leading up to a match, Lesnar has the “I’ll beat everyone I have to, to make it to the top...I don’t care who it is” attitude. Sadly for Brock, unlike in the WWE, you cannot be declared a champion in the UFC by the writing team.
The UFC has even put this card in Lesnar’s hometown of Minneapolis, where he wrestled collegiately and even had a brief stint with the Vikings. The crowd will be pulling for him hard. I don’t think they will be going home happy. Heath Herring +180.
Kenny Florian -160
Roger Huerta +130
UFC President Dana White has already said that this is his personal pick for fight of the year. I would tend to agree with him. Kenny “Kenflo” Florian (9-3-0) will be bringing his elbows of death with him. He has lost only to Sean Sherk and Diego Sanchez in ‘The Ultimate Fighter 1’ finale. All others are usually defeated in bloody fashion. With a background in Muay Thai and Jiu-Jitsu, Florian is no joke.
Roger Huerta (22-1-1) is known as “El Matador”. I believe that is French for “doormat”. I could be wrong. Either way, the Sports Illustrated cover boy is 6-0 in the UFC. His last victory against Clay Guida was an exciting bout from beginning to end. Huerta was getting smacked around for much of the fight, before catching Guida in a nasty 3rd round choke hold.
Florian seems like a nice enough kid from Boston. He even stepped in and did color commentary in Joe Rogan’s absence for UFC 83. It would be great if one day he could save my bleeding ears from Rogan’s screaming. Huerta has the Alcoholics Anonymous third step prayer tattooed on his right forearm. What does any of this have to do with anything? Not much. Dana White is right. This fight is a tough call either way. For such a closely contested bout, go with the value. Roger Huerta +130.
Demian Maia -285
Jason MacDonald +225
My wife and I’s favorite running UFC theme is to keep track of all the redheads, or dark dirty blond fighters. There are tons of them. I guess when you are born with orange hair, you have to learn how to fight at a young age. The fun part about them is, 30 seconds into the fight these guys look like they have some major pigmentation issues. Giant red splotches all over their body. What can I say…we are easily amused.
Well they don’t come anymore flaring bright orange than Canadian fighter Jason MacDonald (21-9-0). He possesses one of the weaker nicknames in the game, “The Athlete”. How far away are we from someone dubbing themselves as “The Human”. This is getting ridiculous.
MacDonald’s opponent for this Middleweight matchup is Demian Maia (8-0-0). Maia is a Brazilian fighter influenced by the legendary Gracies. The majority of his victories are achieved by some form of a choke out. Maia has stated that his favorite technique is to “Submit my opponent without him hurting me, or me hurting him”. Well that’s no fun.
I highly anticipate the moment when Maia is choking out poor MacDonald, forcing his face to turn shades of red and orange never before seen by mankind. It will be a giddy moment in the Bread household. Demian Maia -285.
Manny Gamburyan -320
Rob Emerson +260
The battle of the Lightweights pits Manny “The Anvil” Gamburyan (9-3-0) against Rob “The Saint” Emerson (9-6-1). It’s a draw on the worst nickname.
Gamburyan reminds me why I don’t fight little guys when I go out. In dress attire, standing at a whopping 5’5” 155 lbs, I would almost want to take it easy on the guy. Then I would be dismantled in sad fashion. No thanks.
Manny’s actual name is Manvel. He was born in Armenia. He likes to enter the ring to the music of Armenian band System of a Down. If Joe Rogan’s decibels don’t make your ears bleed enough, perhaps Manvel’s music can help.
Gamburyan lost in The Ultimate Fighter championship to Nate Diaz. Manny was beating him up pretty good until dislocating his shoulder. That was a bad night for Bread. Manny has won two in a row since then.
Dana White must love Rob Emerson for some reason. On the reality show’s fifth installment, he first lost out to Diaz. Then he returned as a replacement for an injured fighter, and lost to Corey Hill. Then on the finale’s undercard, he was slammed to the mat by Gray Maynard and submitted. Problem was, Maynard slammed his own head too hard and fell unconscious. The fight was declared a no contest. Emerson hasn’t shown anything, but like the Terminator, he keeps coming back.
This will be an easy victory for Gamburyan. The only concern would be the karma train. In his last bout with Jeff Cox, Manny broke the unspoken rule of professional fighting. He faked the glove tap than many fighters do to begin a round, and smacked a spinning leg kick at his opponent. Not good. Fortunately for gamblers, Emerson will not be the one to avenge the karma gods. Manny Gamburyan -320.
Good stuff as usual, Bread.
