best jjgold post of all time.

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  • fiveteamer
    SBR Posting Legend
    • 04-14-08
    • 10805

    #1
    best jjgold post of all time.
    I also have this one printed out and laminated next to my night table beside my bed



    03-02-2004, 07:04 PM #1 (permalink)
    jjgold


    Status: Grade III
    Join Date: Oct 2003
    Posts: 516 Simulcasting Has Ruined The Horseplayer

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Boys lots of quality posters here but I think most of you are like me where simulcasting has ruined us. The good old days we would go to the track and but the Daily Racing Form or the Track program get a sit and relax between each race (22 minutes) and take our time and handicap races and eat a little in between, talk a little, ect and relax. What the heck has happened to most of us since then?? Boys I will tell you what has happened.

    It is utter chaos now when we go to an otb, simulcasting center, track, ect. We walk into the facility now and we go the program stand and all of a sudden we are experts in 5-7 tracks.

    I will use as examples Alysheba and Holy Bull not to single them out here but I have known them through various forum boards. Sheba goes to the guy " give me Aqueduct, Turfway, Phila, Santa Anita, Laurel, and then goes give me the night cards Penn National and Mountaineer and Sam Houston. The guy is at the counter for 10 minutes tuggling between what programs and forms to get.

    Ok Sheba has the programs and now gets a seat and of course thinking he will only pick his spots at the various tracks. Of course years ago Sheba would only need one tv in front of him now he is changing hiss eat ten 10x until he gets the perfect view to follow like 5 tracks!!!!!

    He is capping the first at The Big A and gets beat, no biggie here, now he is trying to be cool as a cat and wait until the 4th at Laurel. He is just sitting there and glances at Phila race 2, of course just mentally capping the race. The announcer says "they are at the post" so Sheba gets up real cool and says you know I like the 4 a little, let me throw $10 to win on it. He bets it and it gets beat. The guy is till cool and relaxed. He goes back to his seat. Oh 6 minutes to the second at The Big A. The kid goes to the program and thinks the #5 looks solid. He goes to the window and bets it to place. Boys it loses. Now he has made 3 bets already and dwon $30 and was only suppose to make one bet until the 4th at Laurel. He is slightly frustrated now and looks at Calder race 3 and convinces himself the #7 is a standout and should be there. Boys it is amazing how he is finding all these plays so early. Of course the 7 goes down and now down $40. He was planning on getting a bite to eat but now scraps those plans because does not want to go for the $7 (remember losing $40 now).

    You can see on his face that a fun day is gradually turning. hey the 4th at Laurel comes and wins and pays $14.40 and he had it good. He waited for this and it won. The perk is back in this guy and likes a horse at Aqueduct in the 7th so lots of time in between. He heres the track announcer at Calder say 2 minutes to the 5th and he starts rather briskly getting to that race in one of his numerous programs. He real fast looks at it and amazingly he comes up with the #1 to win. Boys usually Sheba takes 20 minutes to cap a race but this one took less than 2 min. Of course the horse gets beat.

    Gets up to walk to the John and glances at the board and sees 1 minute to fairgrounds. He scurries to that race in his book and all of a sudden be is becoming a speed handicapper. I mean this guy says I love the #5. He goes to the window and plays it and gets beat. He then goes to the bathroom pissed off (no pun intended).

    Gets out and walks by the board and his favorite track The Big A is going off and says let me take a shot with the #2 it has a shot. Goes down. Boys he is making numerous bets before the one he really likes and in the red again. The re comes up and wins again and pays $8.00 and he is about even. he likes one big turf race later inthe day and that is it.

    He is sitting in his chair and getting the itch to bet again and the 8th at Phila is going and comes up with a horse in his new capping method where all of a sudden he can cap a race in 1 minute or 2 and love a horse. It goes down. Boys he is doing this more frequently now and getting deeper in the red and becoming more angry and when you let emotions get involved your done.

    The big downfall comes when the horse he loves in the turf race gets beat. Now he is really getting into whole and his whole personality has changed. he starts ranting and raving to the guy next to him "mY horse never should of fukkin lost!!! I should of put it for second and wheeled it in reverse!! This is bull ****!! That horse never should of lost!!"

    Remember boys if he sticks to his plan he is a solid plus today because of the other 2 winners.

    After settling down starts betting the West Coast tracks and loves horses in almost every race wins a few but getting deeper in the red. before you know it he is running to the fukkin window getting bets in at any track he can find and just glancing now in 20-30 seconds!!!!! Boys this guy goes from capping a race the night before and taking his time to 20 seconds!!!!! Wow what a genius!!!

    Before you know it Sheba (basically mild mannered and polite) Is standing in line yelling at the people at the window. "Lets go you cocksucker, stop making all those $1 bets," the guys getting raged now. His whole demeanor is lost. Boys here is the best and classic what happens to most of us. He gets shut out and his horse fukkin wins!!!! The horse pays $22 and he would of almost "been out" He kicks a fukkin garbage can and is going nuts, slamming his form into the wall. He now is pacing and wondering how am i going to get the money back I lost.

    He now is betting numbers!! Yes boys he would lose a few more bets and see the horses enter the gate and just runs to the window and glances for a split second at the tv odds and bets the 6/5 to win and of course loses. Unreal. Sheba mainly a straight bettor is betting exactas now and totally out of his game.

    Boys the best for last. The guy never ever plays the trots and actually hates them. He all of a sudden goes downstairs to the front desk where there selling programs and gets Balmoral!!!!!!!! This is the last straw!!! He is betting **** he knows nothing about just for the action and try to get even and he studies the program and actually convinces himself he likes such and such a horse in each race.

    A fun day at the track for Sheba turned into a disaster. Once you walk into the place all the tracks mesmorize you and you literally become a different person.

    Long story short he gets fukkin buried for the day.

    What is the lesson boys???? Simulcasting creates utter chaos and as much as you think you can block it out and zero in on stuff you really like most are kidding themselves and will end up betting **** they do not like just to bet and i really beleive it has ruined the horse bettor. It is extremely rare where abettor has the discipline to bet selt races and i have seen it from the best of them. They go into the day just to bet a few at Gulfstream and end up betting 20 races.

    Boys I do it and most others do it.

    Good Luck!!
  • pico
    BARRELED IN @ SBR!
    • 04-05-07
    • 27321

    #2
    one of the few sane posts. i like it. straight to the point.
    Comment
    • Brock Landers
      SBR Aristocracy
      • 06-30-08
      • 45359

      #3
      Long story short he gets fukkin buried for the day. LOL
      Comment
      • SBR Lou
        BARRELED IN @ SBR!
        • 08-02-07
        • 37863

        #4
        This one is actually.

        This would be about 9 years ago -- I'd just gotten a job in a new city, and so didn't really know anyone yet outside of work. I had a small bachelor apartment, which was almost completely unfurnished. At the time, I think I slept in a sleeping bag. I had a couch, a chair, a TV and TV stand, a lamp -- not much else. Sort of the bare essentials. No curtains either, by the way. That's important, so hold onto that.

        As it turned out, the apartment complex I chose was in the middle of the gay district. Since I was new to the city, I hadn't known this. I'd been walking around town on my lunch hours at work, trying to find a place to live (I crashed at a friend's place my first few weeks until I found one). I eventually found a great-looking bachelor apartment, which was inexplicably $100 cheaper than any of the bachelors in the surrounding area. Hardwood floors, a deck, track lighting -- I couldn't believe my luck, and signed the lease right there on my lunch hour. It wasn't until my father brought the truck into town and helped me move in a week later, and we showed up to find two leather bull-queers necking in the lobby, that I realized what was going on. My father, I remember, gave me a long look -- waiting, I think, for me to officially come out of the closet right there in the truck. Much explaining ensued that I wasn't gay -- just an idiot who doesn't research apartments well.

        As luck would have it, within a month of my moving in the landlord announced a total overhaul of all the decks by a construction crew. Suddenly the outside of my building looked like a war-zone, with lumber and cement mixers and dolleys running up the sides of the buildings. All the decks were ripped off the building, the doors were sealed up from the outside, and crews got busy laying the steel frame foundations for all the new decks. This took place over the course of months -- it's a thirty-storey building, with about eight apartments per floor, and a deck per apartment. So a little math tells you this wasn't finished in a day. As weeks turned to months, I stopped noticing them entirely.

        One morning, I woke up hard, and I woke up early. Usually I trot off to the shower, have a little breakfast, get my shirt and tie pressed, and I'm off to work. This time I had a little time to kill, and so popped on the TV, found some hotty, got comfortable on the couch, and... well, started having some fun, if you catch me.

        So I'm stroking away, and because I was already pretty revved up to begin with, it wasn't taking long. Tissues were at the ready. I revved up the pace a little, and...

        ...I orgasmed. Shot my load.

        Just as four construction workers on a machine-lifted scaffolding appeared in my window to install my deck.

        Sadly, I noticed this just before the load-shooting. As anyone who's shot a load or two will know, this isn't actually something you can stop. So, just as they appeared, and caught my eye, I... ejaculated in front of them.

        Having done the deed, I was at a bit of a loss as to what to do next. So I very casually removed the tissues, gave a slight nod in their direction, as if to confirm their presence and pretend it was business as usual -- that gay construction workers watch me spank off every day from the window and this just happened to be their turn -- and casually waltzed into the bathroom.

        You'd think this would be the end of the story. And well it should be, since it's already extremely, extremely embarrassing. And yet it's not the end of the story. Because since I'd rushed into the bathroom in a shamed state, I hadn't actually taken anything in with me. Like, say, clothes. I just had the underwear I was wearing. My only hope was to go about my morning bathroom routine very slowly, hoping they might move on before I finished so I could leave my bathroom and get a change of clothes.

        I brushed my teeth. Hammering noises from outside. I showered. Drilling noises. I shaved. Silence. Ah!

        I walked out in my underwear. The four of them were sitting around having coffee out of a thermos. Still there, of course. Still watching.

        At this precise point I realized I'd simply have to get over this, and so went about the business of getting dressed in front of the construction workers. Pants, shirt, tie, socks. After I'd finished lacing up my shoes, I grabbed my briefcase and, turning to the window, gave a small bow.

        They clapped.

        That night I nailed bedsheets up against the windows.
        Comment
        • dwaechte
          SBR Hall of Famer
          • 08-27-07
          • 5481

          #5
          That's a JJ post crazyl? Doesn't read like it.
          Comment
          • SBR Lou
            BARRELED IN @ SBR!
            • 08-02-07
            • 37863

            #6
            Originally posted by dwaechte
            That's a JJ post crazyl? Doesn't read like it.
            Allegedly, it's in this best of thread Raiders made a while ago.
            Comment
            • pico
              BARRELED IN @ SBR!
              • 04-05-07
              • 27321

              #7
              crazyl found a good post. i guess moving to the gay district is how it all got started.
              Comment
              • dwaechte
                SBR Hall of Famer
                • 08-27-07
                • 5481

                #8
                It really makes you rethink your perception of JJ. Not the story itself, that’s classic JJ, but the writing style.

                I mean, it’s clear that the persona is an act, but I’d be really interested in finding out just how much of one it is.
                Comment
                • compaqDikk
                  SBR Hall of Famer
                  • 10-08-05
                  • 5699

                  #9
                  no way the construction one is his. he has NEVER mentioned his father. he left when he was 3
                  Comment
                  • compaqDikk
                    SBR Hall of Famer
                    • 10-08-05
                    • 5699

                    #10
                    his day in the life of was my first post i read and i think it catapulted him to the poster that is
                    Comment
                    • compaqDikk
                      SBR Hall of Famer
                      • 10-08-05
                      • 5699

                      #11
                      the poster HolyBull hasn't posted at MW since the beginning of January. is he at track forums? did he die of a broken heart or donut poising at the shopee he owned that cleared about $40 a day (he ate approx $60 in donuts in a 30 hours span daily) did the bank finally foreclose when they found he made up his assets?
                      Comment
                      • AnotherLoan
                        SBR MVP
                        • 07-21-08
                        • 2225

                        #12
                        There is no way thats JJ. I think there are at least 5 people that post on JJs name.
                        Comment
                        • Chi_archie
                          SBR Aristocracy
                          • 07-22-08
                          • 63172

                          #13
                          JJ, used to do some long ass posts
                          Comment
                          • betplom
                            SBR Posting Legend
                            • 09-20-06
                            • 13444

                            #14
                            Originally posted by Chi_archie
                            JJ, used to do some long ass posts
                            Archie, caught a little of the "bumping" bug yourself huh?

                            It's addictive, ain't it?
                            Comment
                            • Chi_archie
                              SBR Aristocracy
                              • 07-22-08
                              • 63172

                              #15
                              no doubt Plommer,

                              thing is that, the oldies really are much better then anything anyone is posting these days
                              Comment
                              • InTheHole
                                SBR Posting Legend
                                • 04-28-08
                                • 15243

                                #16
                                Horses As s
                                Comment
                                • CaneDawg
                                  SBR Hall of Famer
                                  • 08-25-08
                                  • 6256

                                  #17
                                  solid and true
                                  Comment
                                  • Casperwaits
                                    SBR Hall of Famer
                                    • 08-25-06
                                    • 5042

                                    #18
                                    The horse story has been my betting (and losing) style for years now. I have no control.
                                    The construction worker story is good. I have a similar one (of course)

                                    When I was living in Astoria, Queens, I had a roommate Bobby. Bobby was the $$ behind the racket, and I was the good times. Well after a long night of not getting any, I came home kinda early AM and plopped in front of the TV in the living room. Put on a "Fetish Tape", and spanked away. I knew Bobby wouldn't hear me or wake up so I continued and completed. After spanking, I jumped in the shower to wash off last night stink and the love seed. As I am in the shower, I hear the doorbell ring. I figured Bobby would get it (which he did). Once again, it's probably 10:00 AM, and I knew I had nobody coming over to see me. I figured Bobby had a breakfast date. When I turned the water off, and got out of the shower, I heard noises eminating from the TV. Whomever was watching out TV had taken it upon themselves to turn on the VCR which still had my "Fetish Tape" in it. Let me just say, this tape is not your run of the mill Vanilla tapes. As I continued to listen from the bathroom, I heard men's voices. What I ascertained was that Bobby had called Time Warner to upgrade our cable box, and the cable guys were hooking/testing everything out. I was waiting for my roomate to say something about said tape in VCR, but he did not. Gave him lots of props for not saying "it's my roomates". I stayed in the bathroom until the guy/guys left and went into my room red faced. Now I only watch porn on my computer
                                    Comment
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