JJ, this is some funny stuff

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  • Brock Landers
    SBR Aristocracy
    • 06-30-08
    • 45359

    #1
    JJ, this is some funny stuff
    some police reports from my fair town, something to laugh about since your video's aren't "comedy" according to you..

    A 21-year-old University student was the victim of a sexual assault early
    Sunday morning, according to a Champaign police report. Police arrested an
    Urbana man in connection with the incident.

    The victim was awakened about 2:30 that morning in his apartment near
    First and Green streets by someone fondling his genitals and anus. After
    the victim woke up, the assailant began performing oral sex on him, the
    report said.

    When the victim's roommate returned, he was concerned that something might
    be wrong because the front door was slightly open. So he turned on the
    light in the victim's room to check on the victim, at which point the
    victim realized there was a man in his bed, the report said.

    The victim then became "very emotional." The roommate asked the assailant,
    "Who the fuVk are you?" and told him to leave the apartment, according to
    the report.

    After the assailant left, the roommate and two friends decided to detain
    him and call police. They chased him, catching him a block away, and
    called police, who made an arrest, according to the report.

    Police arrested Danny John Lattimore, 27, of 111 W. Park Ave., Apt. 4,
    Urbana, according to the report. No other information on Lattimore was
    available Sunday evening.


    Two men were standing in front of Burger King, 309 E. Green St., Champaign,
    at about 7:45 p.m. and began to scrape painted Homecoming designs off of
    the windows. When they walked inside the restaurant, the manager told them
    to leave, according to the report.
    The two men walked back outside and one of them unzipped his pants and
    exposed his penis. The man began walking back and forth in front of a window
    thrusting his pelvis forward and repeating, "Cock-a-doodle-doo," according
    to the report.
    Peter Adams, 20, of Fort Myers, Fla., and Casey Kenna, 20, of East Dubuque,
    Ill., were arrested in connection with the incident. Adams was released
    after posting $50 bond and Kenna was released after posting $100 bond,
    according to the report.


    A Chicago man was arrested in Champaign Monday night after police found
    what was suspected to be crack cocaine, according to a police report.

    At about 7:30 p.m., police were patrolling near an apartment complex on
    the 400 block of East Beardsley Avenue when an officer saw several people
    standing near the south foyer of the apartment building, the report said.

    The officer approached the building in his vehicle and several of the
    people quickly went inside. The officer then ran inside the building to
    approach them before they entered any of the apartments, according to the
    report.

    As a man was entering an apartment, the officer asked if he could talk to
    him. The man stepped back into the hallway, and the officer asked if he
    had anything illegal on him, the report said.

    The man said he had some money, and he handed the officer about $59
    dollars in cash. But he said he had nothing illegal on him. The man
    emptied his jacket pockets, but he avoided the contents of his left pocket
    and started getting nervous, the report said.

    The officer finally told the man to give him his "dope." The report said
    that the man asked, "What are you going to do with me if I give you the
    dope?" Another officer arrived and the man was arrested, according to the
    report.

    The man was later found to have four rocks of a substance resembling
    <+>7<+>/<->10<-> of a gram of crack cocaine, the report said.

    Joseph Shaw, 18, of Chicago, was arrested in connection with the incident,
    the report said.

    Shaw was in custody at Champaign County Correctional Center as of Tuesday
    afternoon, according to a correctional center official.



    A Vice-Lord gang member was arrested Monday afternoon for riding his bicycle the wrong way down a one-way street and for resisting arrest / obstructing a police officer.


    The police officer was on walking patrol near Burch Village Drive when he noticed the suspect riding his bike in a peculiar manner on the sidewalk, according to a Champaign police report.


    The report said the delinquent biker was riding his bike on the sidewalk, and circled a number of times in the grass, only to cut back again and continue riding on the sidewalk.


    The officer pursued the biker and asked him a few questions, the report said. Among the questions to which the biker responded loudly and profanely was if he lived in Burch Village or if he was visiting someone there, and, if he was visiting someone, whom.


    The report said the officer asked the biker to leave the premises, to which the biker responded: "**** you, mother ****er. It's going to take you and your whole army, and I still ain't going nowhere."


    The officer called METCAD and asked for assistance from another officer, as the suspect continued to ride his bicycle.


    The officer once again told the suspect to stop riding his bike, and got in the path of the bike and bike rider, the report said.


    The second officer arrived at the scene and attempted to detain the suspect, but the suspect broke free, ripping his coat in the process.


    The report said the officer caught up with the suspect and yelled at him to lie on the ground, to which the suspect did not respond, so the officer sprayed the suspect with pepper spray.


    The report said the officer again ordered him to lie down. The suspect again did not respond, and was sprayed again, with no resulting effects.


    After the pepper spray did not affect the suspect, the officer drew his baton, and the officers were able to arrest the suspect without further resistance, the report said.


    When the officer and suspect arrived at the police station to continue with the booking process the suspect "apologized" for being "so disrespectful," the report said.


    However, the suspect followed by saying he did not really mean it, the report said.


    Arrested in connection with the event was Germaine Joel Pullen, 23, of 1011 N. Third St., Champaign.


    Unknown suspects robbed a man at 301 W. Eureka St., Champaign, on Saturday
    after 1:30 a.m., according to a Champaign Police report.

    The victim was going to see a friend, who lived in the apartment building,
    the report said. The victim said before he was able to hit the buzzer he
    was confronted by the first suspect who demanded his money, the report
    said.

    According to the report, the victim said, "**** you. You're not getting my
    money." The victim and the offender struggled on the back porch for
    several minutes.

    The suspect picked up a empty beer bottle and hit the victim in the
    forehead area, the report said. The victim went down, the second suspect
    came up, and the two offenders went through the victim's pant pockets.

    The victim had money in his front pocket, one of the suspects finally
    found it and both suspects ran off, the report said.

    According to the report, the offenders ran south on State Street and east
    on Tremont Street.

    The victim got back up and then followed them. He saw both offenders get
    into a 1978-1982 faded blue Plymouth Horizon that was driven by a third
    suspect whom the victim saw earlier on a street corner, the report said.

    At 301 W. Eureka, there was a pool of blood on the back porch just inside
    the screen door, the report said.

    On the steps outside the building a small concrete block had a small
    amount of blood on it and an empty bottle of Heineken beer with blood was
    lying on the steps next to the screen door, the report said.

    The screen door had a small amount of blood on it and the plexiglass in
    the door had been broken, according to the report.

    The victim was treated and released from Covenant Hospital, 1400 W. Park
    St., Urbana, the report said.

    According to the report, the victim had a small cut on his forehead that
    required stitches.

    No one has been arrested in connection with this incident and no further
    suspect information was listed in the report.
  • jjgold
    SBR Aristocracy
    • 07-20-05
    • 388179

    #2
    sick

    Brock I am not laughing after losing 3k tonight
    Comment
    • Brock Landers
      SBR Aristocracy
      • 06-30-08
      • 45359

      #3
      Originally posted by jjgold
      sick

      Brock I am not laughing after losing 3k tonight
      get that TAMPA -1 1/2 play tomorrow JJ, i SWEAR you will get your money back!!
      Comment
      • Nicky Santoro
        SBR Posting Legend
        • 04-08-08
        • 16103

        #4
        jj, even if you did win, NO WAY you spend 23 minutes reading all of that. man, that is one long joke.
        Comment
        • Brock Landers
          SBR Aristocracy
          • 06-30-08
          • 45359

          #5
          Originally posted by Nicky Santauro
          jj, even if you did win, NO WAY you spend 23 minutes reading all of that. man, that is one long joke.
          The two men walked back outside and one of them unzipped his pants and
          exposed his penis. The man began walking back and forth in front of a window
          thrusting his pelvis forward and repeating, "Cock-a-doodle-doo" LOLOL
          Comment
          • flyingillini
            SBR Aristocracy
            • 12-06-06
            • 41219

            #6
            I know that area well. Represent ILLINI country to the fullest!
            המוסד‎
            המוסד למודיעין ולתפקידים מיוחדים‎
            Comment
            • Nicky Santoro
              SBR Posting Legend
              • 04-08-08
              • 16103

              #7
              Originally posted by Brock Landers
              The two men walked back outside and one of them unzipped his pants and
              exposed his penis. The man began walking back and forth in front of a window
              thrusting his pelvis forward and repeating, "Cock-a-doodle-doo" LOLOL
              thanks brocky, now that i can understand and it wasn't too hard to read. thanks
              Comment
              • fiveteamer
                SBR Posting Legend
                • 04-14-08
                • 10805

                #8


                This is a song that speaks to jjgold.

                he can relate in all aspects.
                Comment
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