Now here's one for ya. With all the talk about telling a girl you gamble. How about going to your kids school and doing it. Explaining to the kiddies about the vig, reverse run lines, ect...The O/U on how long you go before the teacher cuts you off is 45 seconds.
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Well, children, Principle Johnson, what I do is very complicated. I utilize a personalized system by which I invest money into possible outcomes for financial gain. You know, if there's one thing I've learned in life it's that you've got to dream big and take your chances. That very life lesson is at the heart of what i do -- it is the spirit that drives me. I consider myself a hybrid -- a sort of pseudo entrepreneur/analyst if you will. Now, take a given set of numbers. In attemtping to predict an over/under, for example, i utilize a system of medians and averages to accurately (hopefully) determine the probability of a particular outcome. I am essentially a mathematician.
Little Johnny: So you're a phucken degenerate gambler and a bullshit artist, right?
Buzzy: well yeah!Comment -
If only that wass the way it would go down, Buzzy. The conversation would be more like this: "Principle Johnson, who you got today?"Comment -
Originally posted by buztah
Classic...With a speech prepared that well I might be inclined to take over 45 seconds.
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PJ: I need the phucken Giants BP to hold on. I'm barrelled phucken in here!Originally posted by PanicComment -
Have a hidden walkman attached to back of your pants with one headphone hidden under your shirt leading up to your left ear so you can listen to the game while talking to the kids. Nice and calm before you break into a rage like someone with Terretts.
"Well you see, kids, you can make money if...FVCK ME!!! YOU MOTHERFVCKER. How the Fvck do you blow that? You Fvckin' coksucker......Comment -
UNPHUCKENREAL! PHUCK!!!!!!!! How the phuck do you blow a 6 run lead in the GODDAMN NINTH!!!!!!!!!!Originally posted by PanicComment -
(Buzzy falls to the floor in tears, sobbing uncontrollably)Originally posted by buztah
You just can't phucken win! Phuck me phuck me PHUCK ME!!!!!!!!!!Comment -
....continuation.
The kids in the class are now oohing and aahing. Making a lot of noise.
"Shut up, you little fvcks, I'm tryin' to think here....okay, okay...we got a 3 oclock game about to go off, we'll just double down....no problem..." *reaches for cellphone and hits the last number called* *points at kid in front row* "Kid, get your pencil ready, I need you to write this down...Hey, Vinny...yeah its me...620934....what you got on the Giants? Cardinals -143, 1 and half, 8 and half under 20...." *walks over to the kid* "What the fvck!, you didnt write shit down...move outta the way..."* kid is to scared to move* "Dont fvck with me, kid, get the hell outta the way...Yea, yeah, yeah, Vinny, I'm still here...Hold on..."Comment -
Buzzy grabs terrified 8 year old by the collar.
"Gimme a phucken winner, pal!"
Buzzy shakes the shit out of him.
"GIMME A PHUCKEN WINNER, PAL!"
Buzzy suddenly notices that the kid has a Phillies sticker on his lunchbox. Buzzy back on the phone now:
"Vinny! Vinny, put it all on phucken Philly...
You heard me, you kok! All on PHUCKEN PHILLY! Phuck! Put it on the phucken run line, pal! I'm phucken due!"
Buzzy to class: "We're phucken chasing.com now, boyz!"Comment -
Originally posted by buztah
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