A Newfoundland farmer‏

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  • DwightShrute
    SBR Aristocracy
    • 01-17-09
    • 103599

    #1
    A Newfoundland farmer‏
    A Newfoundland farmer named Angus had a car accident.

    In court, the Eversweet Company's hot-shot solicitor was questioning Angus.

    'Didn't you say to the RCMP at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine?' asked the solicitor.
    Angus responded: 'Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favourite cow, Bessie, into the... '

    'I didn't ask for any details', the solicitor interrupted. 'Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'?'

    Angus said, 'Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road.... '

    The solicitor interrupted again and said, 'Your Honour, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the police on the scene that he was fine. Now several weeks after the accident, he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question. '

    By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Angus' answer and said to the solicitor: 'I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favourite cow, Bessie'.

    Angus thanked the Judge and proceeded. 'Well as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite cow, into the trailer and was driving her down the road when this huge Eversweet truck and trailer came through a stop sign and hit my trailer right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurt, very bad like, and didn't want to move. However, I could hear old Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible pain just by her groans.

    Shortly after the accident, a policeman on a motorbike turned up. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her, and saw her condition, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes.

    Then the policeman came across the road, gun still in hand, looked at me, and said, 'How are you feeling?'

    'Now what the Fukk would you say?'



  • Alfie B
    SBR Sharp
    • 03-12-08
    • 488

    #2
    I know a lot of Newfies, they're all going to laugh there heads off when I tell them this one, unless they've heard it before. Newfies are among the best people on earth.
    Comment
    • JW Cash
      SBR MVP
      • 12-31-08
      • 4453

      #3
      Originally posted by Alfie B
      I know a lot of Newfies, they're all going to laugh there heads off when I tell them this one, unless they've heard it before. Newfies are among the best people on earth.


      Newfoundland ???


      Isnt that where a lot of the Titanic dead are buried..??
      Comment
      • DwightShrute
        SBR Aristocracy
        • 01-17-09
        • 103599

        #4
        Originally posted by Alfie B
        . Newfies are among the best people on earth.
        agreed!
        Comment
        • DrStale
          SBR Hall of Famer
          • 12-07-08
          • 9692

          #5
          Originally posted by Dark Horse
          If with religion you mean belief system, your belief system is your religion. Again, it matters not what it is. You believe in it, you are loyal to it, would defend it, and yet have no proof of it, other than that, at one point or another, you chose to believe in it. Self-hypnosis. What if there were a snapping of fingers that broke the hypnosis?
          Comment
          • Alfie B
            SBR Sharp
            • 03-12-08
            • 488

            #6
            Originally posted by JW Cash
            Newfoundland ???


            Isnt that where a lot of the Titanic dead are buried..??
            Well yeah, on the floor of the ocean, I guess. What's your point? .
            Comment
            • JW Cash
              SBR MVP
              • 12-31-08
              • 4453

              #7
              Originally posted by Alfie B
              Well yeah, on the floor of the ocean, I guess. What's your point? .

              Quite a few bodies were recovered while they
              lay on the ocean surface....

              I saw the memorial on a TV show where they were buried when the rescue ships
              reached land..

              I think they were buried in Newfoundland...but not sure..

              Thats my Point Alfie...
              Comment
              • mathdotcom
                SBR Posting Legend
                • 03-24-08
                • 11689

                #8
                Who wouldn't be in a good mood if you're never working
                Comment
                • Alfie B
                  SBR Sharp
                  • 03-12-08
                  • 488

                  #9
                  Hey JW. I know the Titanic sank close to Newfoundland. I did a quick google search and found that many bodies were " returned to the sea " and many were buried in Nova Scotia in Halifax and some went to NYC. I didn't mean to offend or anything, I just wondered how that related to " Newfie " jokes ?
                  Comment
                  • mrmarket
                    SBR MVP
                    • 01-26-10
                    • 4953

                    #10
                    Only newfies I know are plastered all the time. Good people. JJ has tried screech for sure.
                    Comment
                    • pavyracer
                      SBR Aristocracy
                      • 04-12-07
                      • 82857

                      #11
                      I always confuse Newfoundland jokes with Iceland jokes. They are so close.
                      Comment
                      • Alfie B
                        SBR Sharp
                        • 03-12-08
                        • 488

                        #12
                        Originally posted by pavyracer
                        I always confuse Newfoundland jokes with Iceland jokes. They are so close.
                        Iceland jokes,do you know my brother? I was thinking of Buffalo and Detroit jokes. Those cities suck, but they were great places to see " The Grateful Dead."
                        Comment
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