I need some gambling friends

[OmgUrMom]

: If you want to be my friend holla at me via Pm

I'm barrelled out of anything and everything right now and need a new identity. I am banned from Pokerstars, Full Tilt Poker, Cake Poker, Bodog, Everest Poker, Paradise Poker, and more.

I need some help.

Get in touch.

[OmgUrMom]

I tried to get my account back but I failed miserably

I apologize for making those accounts. I have/had an obsessive compulsive disorder that made me want to create all those accounts. Since the time of my account freezing I have had counseling and therapy on this issue and believe it is resolved. I would greatly appreciate my account being re-opened. You can look at all the accounts I created, clearly I wasn't in a normal frame of mind (just by looking at the ids, ilovesatan, godisfake, falsegod, godamnpoker, iwanttodie, whymegod?) These accounts were not created for collusion or any nepharious purpose except for to qwell my obsessive compulsive disorder at the time. I am truly sorry for all the trouble I have caused and all the time you've had to put into looking into this matter. I do hope I can once again play at Stars, but either way I wish you all the best of luck and profusely apologize.

sorry and thank you for your time


From:xxxxxxxx
To: xxxxx
Sent: Tue, April 28, 2009 6:54:23 PM
Subject: RE: Fwd: Re: PokerStars Account Status

Hello Joseph,

I sent you an email earlier last week as to why your account has been
frozen. It has also come to our attention that you have created a number
of accounts, and we will require a explanation on that.

Again, what is your relationship to 'This1sTheEnd' and why did you create
all these accounts:

uberstank1
IWantToDie
godamnpoker1
FalseGod09
GodisFake91
This1sTheEnd
whymegod?1
NicheisGod
GrindOnMind1
killmenow272
xMorphiousx
godhatesME9
JackMeHoff18
iLoveSatan9
iLoveWeiners
ForkingTards
DonkeyBalls0
JackMeHoff33
RazGriz8
Anita Hoare
RogersAzzMan

Please do not email back with "I don't know those people" or "I didn't
create those accounts", because we are well aware that you did, and it
will be simply wasting both our time.

I will look forward to your reply.

Regards,

xxxxxx



PokerStars Responsible Gaming PokerStars Responsible Gaming PokerStars Responsible Gaming PokerStars Responsible Gaming PokerStars Responsible Gaming PokerStars Responsible Gaming PokerStars Responsible Gaming PokerStars Responsible Gaming Team

[Brock Landers]

How do you get "banned" from all those poker sites??

[OmgUrMom]

some i emailed them and told me to close my account when i got pissed after some ridicoulous beat, others for multiaccounting like shown in above email.

tried to get my pokerstars account back cause that is the best site but my email plea didn't work

[Bostongambler]

You need to get out of your house OmgURDad. It is a wonderful world out there.

[OmgUrMom]

bostongambler, i got money on the mind pal

[Cuse4tw]

why did u need that many accounts?

[Chi_archie]

what is going on here?

[Bostongambler]

bostongambler, i got money on the mind pal

And water on ur brain it seems. gl though

[OmgUrMom]

chi i am looking for some gambling friends. that is all.

Cuse, good question

It cus they kept locking up my accounts for investigation, and whenever they did that i Just made a new one and would usually only get 24 hours with it.

[shari91]

JackMeHoff

FockingTards



Bloody hell. You just need to stop now.

[shari91]

And water on ur brain it seems. gl though

[OmgUrMom]

never heard the expression "water on ur brains" hmm

I am a poker legend just down on my luck. I have grimmed the grimmstarr, i have destroyed the Stickman, i've played with the King Niche, and learned the infamous Mississippi River Bluff, the most devastating move in poker ever comprehended.

[fightingwarrior]

if this is true and you were multy accounting your just like justin when he started gambling a re tard.good luck trying to get pokerstars to let you play.how can you burn all of those bridges honestly man.i understand if you stop gambling and wanna do better with your life but honestly what in the world are you thinking.

[Al Masters]

: If you want to be my friend holla at me via Pm

I'm barrelled out of anything and everything right now and need a new identity. I am banned from Pokerstars, Full Tilt Poker, Cake Poker, Bodog, Everest Poker, Paradise Poker, and more.

I need some help.

Get in touch.

Becareful it can get worse and usually does.

Is there a DR in the house, we have an emergency here.

http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/news/national/how-gambling-ruined-former-sydney-swan-daryn-cresswell/story-e6freuzr-1225702260321

[OmgUrMom]

fighting warrior i know i fukked up. I just wanted to stay in the action.
Here is a recent post from my teacher and the true legend of poker King Niche:


I went to bed early at 3am because i was so tilted I felt like I could punt the galaxy. my game has been better than ever lately my reads are tarot and my aggression is grizzly. but still the same boom town rat in a vat still owed thousands of dollars and im probably never seeing that ****ing money. over the last few days I had ran up $100 to 1k three times and lost it all..lost AA vs Q8 suited all in pre to a drunk irishman who told me “id rater be looky than good laddie. hehe”Next hand I open shove my last 160 with AQos sending out the distress signal when im really holding the flares and rocket grenades Irishman calls with QJ and wins. he says “hehe”. I want to break his face but I say gg while i squeese my balls to the point of pain.
So im in bed i already had given up 5 times on knokcing one out because i had the arm ache..so I close my eyes thats when I woke up and I was at my pc 18 tabling and suddenly the screen turned into a a hole in the wall and wild bill hickock grabs me and pulls me into the darkness,,im like NOOO i just got dealt aces in the BB”
suddenly im on a beach the sky is black but there is a sun, it looks like glowing piece of coal and keeps erupting into the sea. the air is hot and sticky like its been circulating in a tramps vest. I see these people on horses coming to get me, its howard lederer and a gang of monsters..they are drooling and wearing FT merchandise..A monster ina FT jersey is one of the strangest things ive ever seen except for allen cunninham
one monster stops to take a dump and howard lederer gives him a back hander..Howard approaches walking flat footed..he is dressed like king arthur but he is so fat and looks stuck in his armour.. so I run but my legs are made out of angel hair spaghetti and he catches me..he has gobbo on a leash..and the ears of luke schwartz on a necklace
they catch me and beat me to the ground gobbo starts panting with his tongue hanging out, his hair was as thin as the pubes on a starfish..he has 4 legs..Howard starts kicking me in the face and saying “Pay teh rake” then he says that I suck at poker and so does my dead beat father..thats when I see my father come flying down the beach screaming some kind of wild nonsense..the sight of your own dead father running down the beach naked and copping the full frontal is the one of the weirdest things I have ever seen but howard sends some kind of horse-goblin to get my father and my father starts running other way down the beach screaming I try to get up to help my father but they hold me down i felt a lump in my throat
howard had his big sword out and he was waving it around showing it off to everyone..the monsters were saying “ooooooo” “woooo” .i started praying for stu ungar and ship reese to help me..i scratched out AA in the sand because it was the only thing I could think of..howard grinned and chuckled and said “aces no good” and im like “Lets see a flop” he says “ok” and he draws his whole cards 10 8, and then he draws the flop 8 8 10 and says HAR HAR and eats a handful of quarters.. I shout out “RIGGED” and then he tells me to shut up and to open my mouth..i try not to at first but his sword is just too big and he forces his sword into my mouth..i can feel something warm in my mouth at that point..blood and fish
they start slitting me open throwing me on the rocks, stamping on me, taking out my heart, I spit blood at howard it sprays all over his armour.. gobbo licks it off.. Howard starts grinning from ear to ear through his sharp little teeth and the monsters start chanting like herad khan at the WSOP “WHO HAR WHO WHO HAR..WHO HAR WHO WHO HAR..thats when Bob Stupak rolled up in a wheel chair and started talking **** about danny negreanu then he ran over my face
Does anyone else dream about poker?

[fightingwarrior]

this has to be a joke or a sad story.im done with this thread.

[OmgUrMom]

no joke warrior, i only speak truths

[stealthyburrito]

you know you're in the shitter when fightingwarrior is done with you

[OmgUrMom]

here is a good hand from my heyday: Heads up vs limit hold em legend KPR16. AJ is a premium hand heads up so obv i 3-bet pre. He is raising close to a 100% of his hands from the button ofc. The flop is great. I contin bet and he raises. I figure he at least has a draw and I may slow him down if i 3 bet, i would rather wait for a safe turn to get in two big bets, or perhaps just call down if the turn is terrible. Turn is a beatiful 2, i raise he just calls. I know I have him here barring a bad river. he probably has a pair and a draw or maybe just a draw. River is great and obv i value bet it and take down the pot.

PokerStars Game #27144870735: Hold'em Limit ($30/$60) - 2009/04/16 3:19:46 CT [2009/04/16 4:19:46 ET]
Table 'Britta' 6-max Seat #3 is the button
Seat 3: KPR16 ($3015 in chips)
Seat 4: BlackWizzar3 ($1484 in chips)
KPR16: posts small blind $15
BlackWizzar3: posts big blind $30
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to BlackWizzar3 [Js Ah]
KPR16: raises $30 to $60
BlackWizzar3: raises $30 to $90
KPR16: calls $30
*** FLOP *** [8s Jd Td]
BlackWizzar3: bets $30
KPR16: raises $30 to $60
BlackWizzar3: calls $30
*** TURN *** [8s Jd Td] [2s]
BlackWizzar3: checks
KPR16: bets $60
BlackWizzar3: raises $60 to $120
KPR16: calls $60
*** RIVER *** [8s Jd Td 2s] [4s]
BlackWizzar3: bets $60
KPR16: calls $60
*** SHOW DOWN ***
BlackWizzar3: shows [Js Ah] (a pair of Jacks)
KPR16: mucks hand
BlackWizzar3 collected $659 from pot
BlackWizzar3 is sitting out
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $660 | Rake $1
Board [8s Jd Td 2s 4s]
Seat 3: KPR16 (button) (small blind) mucked [xxxxx]
Seat 4: BlackWizzar3 (big blind) showed [Js Ah] and won ($659) with a pair of Jacks

[OmgUrMom]

bump i have zero friends so far

[OmgUrMom]

goddamn no one has pmed me yet

[THE PROFIT]

water on the brain, also known as a hydrocephalic. I'm not sure, but SamsNcharge may be one. He sure has all the retard symptoms

[JerseyLove]

hahha a friend with weed is a friend indeed

[shari91]

I PM'ed you. AND while in the midst of a major drama at home so now you can never say I'm not a nice friend.